


Mixing Messages

by lemonkid11, orphan_account



Series: Bridge the Gap [1]
Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Parenthood, Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-26
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-08-11 05:59:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 47,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7879210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemonkid11/pseuds/lemonkid11, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life is messy. Some questions were never meant to be asked, some paths never walked. Is it time to start a family? Do the ghosts of our pasts define who we are? Can you break a promise and hold it all together? Nick and Judy stand at a fork in the road, with parenthood in the balance. Lies have been told, truths stretched and they only have one another to hold onto.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay everyone, let's get some ground rules down. Looking for angst, love, affection, hurt, pain and suffering? You _might_ be in the right place. Looking for fluff and happy rainbows? Umm, sorry? This isn't going to be a happy place for you. There will be highs, and lows. The lows aren't all going to get washed away by the highs. Our characters are going to be hurt, burned and scarred.Emotionally and physically.
> 
> Let's say that again. **This is going to be a dark story**.
> 
> For anyone looking for some hot button topics, here are a few that will be explored within the whole series.  
> \- Death  
> \- Rejection  
> \- Hate/Hate Crimes  
> \- Suicide  
> \- Depression
> 
> Arc 1 (Mixing Messages) may not contain all the above topics.
> 
> Many thanks go out to far more people then I managed to remember to write down for this story. I could not have done it without my wonderful discord community, and all of their awesome support. Among those who have helped:  
> \- TheMrLucario123  
> \- []DarkKing427[]  
> \- APointyReckoning  
> \- King  
> \- Berserker88  
> \- AgentExeider  
> And many others I may have forgotten to list. You are all wonderful people, and I am so glad to have met you all. 
> 
> As with all of my stories, I love to engage in discussion and review! See something wrong? Tell me! I apparently missed it in editing (and I do that a lot!) and I would love to know so I can fix it. Think I did something bad? Share with me so I can learn! Think I did something awesome? Let me know so I know to do _more_!
> 
> Thanks for the read!

  
  
  
The waking world welcomed Judy back to it with a painful jolt. From the soft embrace of sleep and dreams, the pain of reality returned to her. She found herself tightly encased in a cocoon of blankets. Drawing in a deep yawning breath, Judy took in the scent of the bed. Her nose picked up her own smell, as well as intoxicating hints of her partner.  
  
Reaching slowly from the blankets to place a paw on the opposite side of the bed, Judy was reminded of several things at once. Shooting pain from her back and legs reminded her of just how rough things had gotten in the night. In the heat of the moment, every position and movement had felt so natural, so exciting. Now she paid the price. Her body just wasn't as limber as it had been in her youth. Shifting in place, she could feel dried splotches pulling awkwardly at patches of fur. A painful reminder of how much she had really failed to clean herself.  
  
Her paw landed, flat on the empty space where her partner should have been sleeping. Where normally there was a warm fuzzy place of comfort and support, a void was found. She sighed.  
  
Her eyes squinted as she tried to remember what had happened. A tightness in her chest reminded her first. Emotions rushed from her memories. Quick moments began to ebb in, snippets of the night. It was like catching a conversation, one syllable at a time, without any in the right order.  
  
Crying. She remembered the crying. It was the last thing she had done as she wrapped herself in her protective cocoon of warmth. Carefully, Judy wiggled herself free. The aches and pains in her muscles made the process slow. Looking around the cold dark room, her eyes fell onto the only source of light. The alarm clock. It's harsh red letters read just past four in the morning.  
  
Judy felt something odd clinging to her leg. A forgotten wad of tissue paper had stuck itself to the inside of her thigh. Her face contorted, her tongue sticking out in disgust as she peeled it away. The sensation was anything but pleasant. It drew a shiver from her entire body as it finally released and was discarded to a nearby trashcan. She rubbed firmly at the patch of fur where it had clung to, vainly trying to drive away the annoying sensation.  
  
Taking several long breaths, Judy let herself plop down onto the old wooden floorboards of the bedroom. The house gave a slight creak as she landed.  
  
In the year since she had moved in, the small squat building had grown on her. It wasn't as convenient as the apartments in the city center, but a police salary just wouldn't cover that. The suburbs, nestled in the marshlands, provided a sort of compromise. Still close enough to allow a reasonable commute into the city center, but far enough away to still be affordable.  
  
At first the home had seemed enormous to Judy; it was a grand mausoleum compared to her apartment. She had never in her life had so much space dedicated to her. In time, the feeling faded. The walls closed in. The ceilings stopped feeling so freakishly tall. It had become home.  
  
Leaving the master bedroom, Judy descended the short flight of four stairs into the living room. She found him lying on their couch. An orange covered leg drooped onto the floor, peeking out from the small earthen colored blanket that covered his russet orange fur.  
  
Nick's snout stuck straight up into the dim light of the room. Judy could hear him snoring lightly. He was sprawled out, arms flopped to either side of the couch.  
  
She stopped in the middle of the room. The angry grip on her chest had returned. Some unseen hand twisted at her heart. It stopped her dead in her tracks as she remembered why Nick was out here. Her eyes closed as memories rushed to fill in the gaps.  
  
The night had been passionate. Strange shifts at work had kept them busy for weeks. Before that, some stomach virus had laid Nick flat on his ass without a moment's hesitation. Distraction after distraction littered their calendars, and their love life had suffered along with them. Finally the tension had popped like a cork.  
  
It all started with the ride home. The moment they had buckled into the car, Nick had unleashed a relentless torrent of innuendos and double meanings. Every last sentence from the stupid fox's mouth had just ratcheted things up more in Judy's head. The stupidity of it all had left Judy somewhere between furiously blushing, and wanting to throw Nick out the window onto the highway.  
  
Glancing back to the kitchen and dining area, Judy could still see their dirty plates from dinner, forgotten where they sat.  
  
Nick wasn't always the best at their job. He found paperwork to be boring, and the training to be a waste of time. That night? Nick was back in his element, playing Judy like a fiddle. Pulling into the driveway her legs weren't as sure as they normally were, anticipation wrecked havoc on her senses. Then Nick had put the brakes on the whole thing, walking into the house like nothing had happened. Nick had swung into action to cook them dinner. Nothing special or fancy, but that didn't detract from the sweetness in Judy's mind.  
  
He had meandered, talking through the meal like it was just another boring night. She knew better than to call his bluff. Nick would tease her for _hours_ if given the chance. She often wondered if he actually did enjoy teasing her over the sex. It was hard to know where his dedication to a joke ended. The fox's wit knew no bounds.  
  
Judy had given in. Her body betraying her, stripping away any shred of control she had left. Their clothing now lay strewn across the house, leading to their bedroom. It was not the first time things had started in such a manner.  
  
Still, somehow the night was different. A years long sexual relationship tended to dampen things after a while. Passion became routine. Their old apartments had forced careful planning, where here everything was more relaxed. The home was a safe spot. No one to judge them, no neighbors to call in fake voice violations.  
  
She scoffed. Last night, they had _defiantly_ violated some noise ordinances.  
  
"You shouldn't hold back so much," Nick had told her as he laid her naked form on the bed. It wasn't the first time he had asked her to be more expressive. It was still all so strange to her. Rabbits didn't really have the time in bed to talk. Things were over too quickly.  
  
With him? Time felt fuzzy. Soft. Pliable. The sex lasted for what felt like an eternity. It gave her plenty of time to practice his requests. Not that he didn't use her vain attempts at dirty talking to tease her relentlessly. This invariably led to the teasing.  
  
Somehow the cunning bastard would sneak her attempts into conversation later. Mostly when they were on duty. Innocuous enough that no one else would realize what he really meant, but just enough for Judy to remember having said them. Still, somehow they found the balance. Between Nick's relentless harassment, and the calm simmering passions of their love, Judy still found the courage to let her voice express herself, from time to time.  
  
That had been where _everything_ had gone off the rails. She remembered. Her stomach churned with disgust. In the passion and heat of the moment, it had sounded so damned _good_. One of the rare moments when the acting didn't feel so alien to her. Where the things that came to mind actually did feel sexy to say. The very words leaving her mouth had tipped her over the presuppose into blissful release. That in turn had dragged Nick right along with her.  
  
'Put a litter in me,' she had said. Five painfully regretted words. It was said with desperation, begging for Nick to release.  
  
The words seared themselves into her memory. Like a broken record on repeat. All so innocent at the time. Just part of the fun, part of the play. She had let go and tried something. Judy couldn't now comprehend why the ends had seemed to justified the means.  
  
She had driven herself off a damned bridge.  
  
What had followed were the most awkward minutes of their love life that Judy could remember. Words weren't needed as her mind had come back from the edge of sanity and reason. They had sat in silence. She knew she had crossed a line in the sand. Plowed right on through without hesitation or concern. All just to feel sexy for a moment.  
  
Kits.  
  
A rabbit and a fox were separated by an impossibility of obstacles. Their DNA was far too dissimilar to ever give Judy kits. Countless times Judy had reassured him, she didn't have any intention of becoming a mother. Time and time again their conversation had gone in circles.  
  
Courtship had been a grand game between the two. Nick had thrown everything he could in her way. The challenges were laid before here like a gauntlet. Papers citing rabbits' tendency to start having litters just at her age. Anecdotes from books, magazines and friends. The fox had even tricked Bonnie into going into a rant about it, somehow. Judy still wasn't sure how he had managed it.  
  
Judy have faced every single challenge. Her mind had been made up _long_ before Nick started asking her questions. Not once had she given him even an inch of room to wiggle to. She faced with with an unyielding will to succeed. To win her prize.  
  
The conversations had finally come to head. It was years in the past, yet the memory still burned with bliss when she recalled how she had finally broken through his walls.  
  
"Judy, there is no turning back if we do this. Foxes mating for life isn't just some social custom. That isn't some rumor you hear about and we all laugh at. This is a _biological imperative_ ," Nick had told her. The look of desperation and worry was as fresh in her mind now as it had been years prior. "Marriage is second fiddle compared to mating for foxes. There isn't a next big leap here. And us? We will _never_ have kits. We will never be parents. You go through with this, it's _game over_ for ever being a mom."  
  
The world had been so clear to her in that moment. Nick had been desperately trying to impress upon her all the reasons she should just walk away. Every other excuse had failed him. Not the concerns of racism. Not the worries of having to leave and work for different stations within the city. Even the threat to call Judy's father and tell him she wanted to shack up with a fox. Nothing had gotten through to her.  
  
Then he had mentioned marriage. It felt childish in hindsight. She had fixated on those words and ignored everything else. Judy Hopps had fallen for that fox long before that night. But she had never really let him know how dedicated _she_ was. Everything had been her standing to face his challenges. She met them courageously, but had somehow failed to expose her heart back to him.  
  
Her voice had been quiet, and focused. It burned with every ounce of passion she could offer.  
  
"Nick?"  
  
"Yeah Fluff?" Nick had asked with an uncertain voice.  
  
It had felt cliché to her. A lifetime of happy wishes bubbled up in her mind. Moments she hoped they would share together.  
  
"I don't _want_ kits Nick. I want _you_. I want to find myself sitting on our porch in fifty years, wondering where all the time went. I want to wake up every morning next to that stupid grin of yours. A big family isn't something I _need_. What I need is someone to be next to me. Someone to always be there. I want that someone to be _you_."  
  
Judy still couldn't really understand how that line had gotten her laid that night. Nick had demanded she explain back to him everything that would happen. It forced her to play with an open paw. All of it felt so corny now, but it had gotten the job done. Somehow. Like all things in Zootopia, their relationship wasn't as clean as she had hoped.  
  
All relationship were messy. They all came with baggage. Theirs was no exception. The kit conversation had come up like clockwork, for months. Then over time, the worry seemed to leave Nick's mind. The question came up less often. Eventually it had stopped all together. Judy assumed it had finally been put it to bed, That she could move on and Nick wouldn't worry so damned much.  
  
Then last night happened.  
  
She had said them. Five stupid, _stupid_ , words. They were supposed to all be a part of the play. She had asked, in a heated moment of delirious passion, for a litter.  
  
Judy Hopps had asked her partner for kits.  
  
Nick had shut down. It was like someone had pulled a plug. The two sat in awkward silence waiting for his body to release her. What had normally been a time for cuddling, comfort and reassurances between the two, had become a hellish trap. The moment his anatomy was free of her, he had tossed her a pawful of tissues and vanished into the dark of the hall.  
  
Judy's mind finished it's refresher of the night before, her eyes turning back to face Nick. His sleeping form moved gently in the dark room. Judy pressed forward. The air felt thick, and uncomfortable. Like she was somehow invading his personal bubble. Her paw came down on his shoulder.  
  
_What in the world am I doing?_ Judy wondered as she gently pressed a paw into him, shaking back and forth. His gentle breathing lurched as his mind fell back into the world. His face and eyes darted around, trying to make sense of where he was.  
  
Finally come to a rest of Judy's face, he let out a long controlled breath.  
  
"Glad to see you're still with us Slick," Judy said with a warm smile. It was a trick she has learned from him. Smiles made you seem relaxed, and confident. They disarmed stressed mammals and calmed everything down. She had seen Nick use it time and time again.  
  
Judy's smile was a total lie.  
  
"Hey Carrots," Nick replied. He kept talking while the yawn waned through his voice. "What time is it?"  
  
"It's just past four love," Judy said. "Why don't you come on back to bed, it's kinda chilly out here."  
  
Judy could feel an awkward tension rise in the room. Nick's face turned to face up and away from her in silence. She couldn't make out his expression the dark, but his silence was telling enough.  
  
_Okay, so much for easy route_ Judy surmised to herself. Twisting in place she sat down on the very edge of the cushion. Her back pressed lightly into Nick's side. The slow rhythm of his breathing was soothing. _Plan B it is then. He wants aversion? We give him patience._  
  
Twisting slightly, Judy allowed herself to face up towards Nick. Her paw relaxed onto his firm chest. It moved in slow circles, playing with the patterns and grain of the fur. Minutes rolled by as she waited. Her massage stayed focused, never straying far from the gentle oscillations of his chest.  
  
In the comparative silence, his whisper of a question sounded like a shot ringing in the night.  
  
"Did you mean it?"  
  
Her paw stopped. It wanted to dig, to pull at the sensitive skin beneath it. A chorus of angry voices screamed into the back of her mind. Insults, attacks, and retorts whirled. One by one they fell silent. With order in her head partially resorted, she spoke.  
  
"Did I mean what?" she asked. Judy knew full well what the fox had meant. She also knew how evasive he could be if she let him lead the conversation. Judy knew she needed him to be explicit in what he was asking.  
  
Nick turned to her, his face flat and emotionless.  
  
"Did you mean it when you asked me. When you asked me for..." His voice trailed off.  
  
"A litter?"  
  
She could hear him gulp as he nodded. The motion was slow, and jerky.  
  
"Nick..." Judy stared, her paw moving to grab his own as it dangled off the couch into the air. "What I said tonight. It was a mistake. I shouldn't have said it."  
  
His face leaned away, up to look out the window behind the couch. Judy knew what must have been going on in his head. Nick didn't believe her. He tended to look away when he thought she was lying.  
  
"It's okay for you to want that Judy. It's... Natural. For someone your age." Nick said softly.  
  
"Nick, how many times have we had this conversation?" Judy asked. Her paw reached for his snout, gently pulling him back to face her. " _I don't need kits_ Nick. That isn't who this bunny is."  
  
She could just make out his eyebrows furrowing together. He wasn't buying it.  
  
"Stop that. You _know me_ Nick. You've been with me for _years_. Don't you get it? I'm not just some bunny. How many other rabbit cops do you know? How many rabbits from Bunnyburrow do you know? Most of us stay there. They find someone, settle hard, and start a family. Most of my high-school friends were mothers within a year of graduation.  
  
"Me? Right back into school, right for the ZPD. I'm not _like_ other bunnies. I don't need all that other normal bunny stuff. What I _need_ is you. Right where you are. Right where you have always been when it mattered. Right... Right by my side."  
  
Nick's expression didn't soften like Judy had hoped. He looked at her with the same tired concern.  
  
"You know I was just trying to be sexy, right?" Judy asked, trying a different angle yet again.  
  
"Were you now?" Nick asked back.  
  
"Yes dammit!" Judy burst out. She stopped, closing her eyes to return from the sudden lapse in composure. She opened them again to lock onto Nick's. "Yes, that's all. It was a stupid thing that just sorta... Slipped. It felt fun and sexy and I just... It just sorta happened without me thinking about what it would mean to you."  
  
Judy's face twisted in pain. She could feel the tears working their way from the back of her eyes.  
  
No one ever really talked about these kinds nights. Sure, everyone had gushed about having someone in their lives forever. The stability it would bring her. The comfort. How relationships would fill her life more than anything else she could hope for.  
  
Now she faced the other side of the coin. In a moment of carnal passion, Judy had incurred a debt. She had taken a great toll against Nick's emotional bucket. Now he was drained. He was drained, and it was her fault.  
  
Turning her body, Judy pressed herself up and on top of Nick. Pressing her back into his chest felt safe, and comforting. His arms hesitated before wrapping up and around her small form.  
  
"I don't like this Nick," she said. "I don't like fighting like this, not having you with me. Waking up alone wasn't fun."  
  
Minutes rolled by. Words sat at the tip of Nick's tongue, unwilling to be spoken or forgotten. Waiting wore away at Judy. The tears held back. Slowly, she felt the world go dim around her. The warm and soft comfort of Nick's embrace lulled her to sleep.  
  
_She didn't **mean** it_ , Nick chanted away in his head as he too slowly slipped away.  
  
In the cold silence of their den, Nick Wilde chanted himself to sleep on a lie.  
  
Morning properly rolled into the room within hours. Light from the day finally roused the two mammals. Life waited for no one, not even two hearts trying to heal in a warm embrace.  
  
"Where did you throw my underwear?" Judy asked as she took unsure steps across the living room.  
  
"You _really_ expect me to remember that? For all I know they are half way to Slothenstien by now."  
  
Judy looked back over her shoulder, giving him a wary grin.  
  
"Yeah, but last time we forgot about something like that, Finnick was the one to find it."  
  
Nick's ears perked up, his body suddenly a lot more alert. The tiny fox had ragged on him for _months_ when he discovered Judy's bra under a random table. He simply knew Nick too well to buy into the lie they tried to spin. At the time he hadn't really know Judy well enough to attack her directly. Nick on the other paw, had been an open season turkey shoot. It was not a predicament Nick wanted to repeat anytime soon.  
  
His eyes furrowed as he tried to remember what he had done with them after wrestling them off Judy's tiny form. He had taunted her with them, her paws playfully trying to grab them back to hide herself from the 'hungry eyes of an unsavory character'. He had taken mock offense to her accusation and...  
  
"Carrots," he said pointing up.  
  
Judy's face turned upwards to the ceiling. Her panties hung precariously, just on the edge of the ceiling fan.  
  
"Two points Nick," She said cheerfully, flicking the fan's switch to free them from their display. She turned back to look at the clock, walking up the set of stairs back into the bedroom. "We promised the guys we'd do lunch today. You know traffic is going to be _sooo_ much fun, we should really get going. Can you grab my cell? I think I left it on the kitchen counter."  
  
Nick stood up, folding the small blanket under the coffee table. He stopped for a moment, making a mental note of all the surfaces they should really wipe down before having company over again. Their journey to the bedroom had not been without detours.  
  
Gathering his own clothes that had been stripped the night before, Nick trotted into the kitchen. He threw some coffee into their small machine, sustenance for the hours ahead. Lunch with the other officers was always a roller-coaster. Nick didn't want to be off his game. He did have a reputation to uphold after all.  
  
A light caught his attention on the counter top. Judy's cell phone let out a soft buzz as a text flashed across the screen.  
  
'He wants to meet, 6 PM Tuesday. dont be late!' -Lilly Hopps  
  
The familiar face of one of Judy's numerous sisters smiled up from the icon next to the text.  
  
"Huh," Nick wondered, depressing the power button to dim the screen as he walked back towards the bedroom. He paused for a moment, collecting himself from the night before. The pain was still there. It felt like a knife stabbing into his chest. Mercifully the knife now felt smaller, more manageable then before.  
  
Like so many small things in Nick Wilde's life, it was tucked away. Hidden behind the defensive emotional barriers. His mind steeled itself away to greet the day as he crossed the threshold back into their bedroom.  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

 

Sunday rolled back around to them. The gremlin of their constantly shifting schedules made life a moving target. Even having a single day open for a weekend had been a blessing. Having the day off together was a statistical anomaly. 

A piercing tone rang through the room. Nick's eyes blinked painfully open, everything was still dark, the room shadowed in vague tones of grey. His highly adapted eyes made every bit of light count, but with the darkness everything took on a subtle blur. 

Curled up under his arm, the same place he found her almost every morning, was Judy. Her face was pressed firmly into his ribcage. Light rapid puffs of breath tickled at his sensitive skin. Her paws wrapped around his chest, splayed out against his fur. 

Nick sighed. His hand moved carefully out to silence the alarm. Judy's body wiggled against the movement, pressing in further to prevent his escape. Somehow after such an awkward tiff from the previous night, her regular attentions felt more meaningful. They warmed his chest. He didn't want it to end. 

His face rotated back to the alarm clock. Four in the morning. Enough time to get up, shower, maybe cook an egg and be on the road by five. Plenty of time to get to the bullpen for their shift. 

Rocking her gently, Nick awoke the sleeping bunny. Her voice let a long high pitched whine in protest. 

"Oh come on, you've survived worse than this," He said giving her a gentle press with his whole body. The momentum pushed her away, laying flat beside him, one of her arms still trapped. 

"Tell Bogo I died _bravely_ ," Judy responded her eyes blinking in the dim room. 

Nick flicked on the lamp, illuminating their room with a sudden white light. 

"Eh," Judy said. "Never mind, tell him I died suffering."

"Right, sure thing there," Nick said standing up and walking to their shared closet. Their size difference made saving space easy. Nick's uniforms and shirts hung along a rail, only a bit high for him to reach comfortably. Below them, a second railing held all of Judy's uniforms. Only a few dresses hung near the end. 

"No really. You need to talk about the blood," Judy groaned has her feet slid onto the hard wooden floor. "The blood is what _sells_ it."

Nick grinned back at her. 

"Whats with the blood anyway?"

"Huh?" Judy asked as she wandered up next to him. She looked at the row of clothes before her with a flat and tired look. 

"Every time you get a chance to act, you make a big show of the blood. Why?"

Her mouth hung slightly open as she looked up at the fox. Her eyes darted back and forth along his features. 

"Drama. Fourth grade. Teacher said I was good with the dramatic stuff. That I should play it up."

Nick chuckled as he picked a clean set of clothes off his rack and walked down the hall to their bathroom. His mind noted the time again. Judy had been easier to rouse than usual. It meant more time for breakfast. 

They took turns in the shower. Nick had grown up on frigid water. This was normal for him, a shock to the system to keep him going until the coffee. He often accused Judy of wanting the water as hot as she could get it. 

Stepping from the room, Judy called out over the white noise of the shower. 

"We are out of tissues. New ones are in the hall closet!"

Nick turned back in silence and considered her silhouetted form through the shower curtain. The tissues had been the last thing he had thrown into her paws before storming from the room during their fight. It wasn't clear if Judy was just making sure they were caught unprepared, or if it was a jab back at him for walking away. His mouth moved with unspoken words for a moment before he gave her an affirmative grunt and left the room. 

Plotting down the hall, Nick pulled his undershirt on over his head. He knew better than to risk eating breakfast in uniform. Getting dressed down by his supervisor was never a fun way to start a work week. Bogo had hawk like vision when it came to stains. 

Opening the closet in the hall, Nick was greeted with a well organized store of items. Judy had kept up the habits of her family home. Everything had a place, neat and organized. Apparently having nearly three hundred members of the family didn't leave room for half measures. With a grin, he moved a few of the medicine bottles to face slightly away from the front. 

 

"It's the little things..." He said. 

Reaching to the small fort of tissue boxes, something caught his eye. He had to lean down just to see the place Judy kept all their bulk bought tissues. Sitting just behind them was something in plastic. Everything else in the closet sat unwrapped and ready for use. Nick's claw reached out carefully, pushing the plastic material aside. 

 

"Pregnancy test?" Nick asked allowed. He paused with his eyes fixated on the small florally decorated box. Shaking his head, he grabbed the tissues and placed them on the nightstand next to their bed. 

By the time Judy had finished with her shower, Nick had finished his quick batch of eggs of the stove. His mind worked out a multitude of explanations for Judy to have bought the test. 

_It's for a friend? Eh, those things are usually pretty species specific. Maybe it was put in the wrong cart? No, Judy would have returned it. She is just too honest to take merchandise..._

Nick's train of thought derailed as Judy wrapped her arms around him, hugging him from behind. Her fur was fluffed and warm from the blow dryer. The sudden comfort drew Nick away from his mash of scrambled eggs. He leaned into her, his tail pressing playfully against her leg. 

"Morning officer toot-toot," Nick said with his head tilted upwards, enjoying the sensations of his partner. 

Judy lightly kicked his tail away and moved to the table. 

"I don't get why you even _call_ me that."

Nick pushed the pan off the burner and reached up for a plate. 

"What's the saying? We hurt those we love the most?" Nick smiled. "Getting under you skin has gotten hard these days, sometimes I just gotta roll with the classics," Nick said as he joined her at the table. She sat munching away at the cereal Nick had put out for her. Some off green oat bran thing. 

Taking a fork, he offered her a sample of the eggs. She blenched away from him, scooping her bowl to her chest as if to protect it from harm. 

"Oh come on!" Nick jeered. "How are you ever gonna grow _big and tall_ if we never get any protein in you?"

Judy's eyes were half lidded in annoyance. Nick sat back, enjoying his little victory. He couldn't help but smile back at her. The fight from the weekend felt so distance. As if it were already a lifetime away. Things were falling right back to normal. Right into their proper routine. 

"I don't recall catching you in the stations gym all that often," Judy said with a grin. "Where's all this wonderful protein going, Wilde?"

 

Nick offered back a shrug. 

"I'm better with my thinker than my lifters. You know that."

Judy's eyes rolled, and worked away at her breakfast. She hopped off her chair, placed her dishes into the washer, and walked down the hall. 

"What's the rush hun?" Nick asked. He had to crane his neck over the table as Judy ascended the short staircase towards the bedroom. 

"Claws and I are doing coffee this morning!" Judy called out from the bedroom. Nick glared at the clock. His half hour of promised relaxation had been stolen away. 

With a sigh, he cleaned up the mess from his meal and joined Judy to get their uniforms on. They kissed one last time before donning their badges. It was a kind of ritual they had developed. 

Interoffice fraternization within the ZPD was on questionable grounds at best. While not strictly a violation of policy, their relationship wasn't to be broadcast either. Anything that might compromise the integrity of the ZPD itself was grounds for termination. Aside from a few trusted friends, and a few individuals down in Mammal Resources, they kept the relationship hidden while in uniform. 

Once they had their badges on, everything had to be business. They were the first line of defense that most of the city had against crime and danger. If Judy not having kits was Nick's drum to beat when the relationship had started, then being professional had been Judy's. Never once had they broken the kissing rule. 

Judy had tried to keep the verbal flirting under control at first. That rule had lasted hours at best. Seeing Nick interact with the rest of the force had settled the matter. He teased, jabbed and joked with anything on two legs in that building. Judy being the odd one would would have been a red flag. 

Checking over each others uniforms one last time, they departed the house. They worked their way into traffic in their personal car. Joining the stream of life flowing into the city.

* * *

Officer Wolford sat in the lounge, flipping idly through an old issue of Brass and Barrels. He and Nick were the only two in the quiet room. All the other officers were still on their morning commutes or down the gym trying to pump a few more pounds before their shifts started. 

"You think it was for someone else?" Nick asked. He tilted back on two legs of the chair, staring up into the dirty grid work of ceiling tiles above. 

Wolford looked up from his magazine. 

"You sure it's even real?" He asked flatly. His eyes dropped right back onto the page, flipping to the next as he half listened to Nick. 

"Yeah. I mean, I looked it over. Looked just like something you'd pick up in a drug store. Floral pattern, sappy looking doe smiling up at you. Thing just screamed bunny."

Wolford shrugged. 

"If you asked me five minutes ago, I'd of said that rabbits don't even _have_ pregnancy tests."

"Eh?" Nick asked, tilting his head down to question him with a tilted look. 

"She's a rabbit Nick. The statistics don't lie. Someone her age, in Zootopia? Census data says she should be pregnant every twelves months on average. I hear some bunnies spend more time with buns in the oven then not, until they clock out from age."

"Hey, that's a bit insensitive, don't you think?" Nick asked. 

"Just quoting the numbers fox. I'm not here to judge anymore than the next guy. I just sorta figured bunnies wouldn't need that kinda test, that's all. You think it's for a friend?"

Nick cocked his jaw. 

"When's the last time you saw Judy Hopps with a friend? She is either on duty, or hanging out with people who she works with. This station is her _life_ , and she is still the only bunny in precinct one."

Wolford dropped his paws onto the table, allowed the magazine to flop loudly. He gave Nick a wide surprised look. 

"Oh. My. God," He said flatly, his eyes growing wide as he looked at Nick. 

"What? What is it?" Nick asked with a confused look. He shifted slightly back in his chair. 

"Wilde... Are you a pregnant rabbit? We gotta tell people! Everyone will be so happy for you!"

Nick's ears flattened to the back of his head. His confused look burned away to an indignant stare. His paw flicked up, a thumb pointing to the row of coffee machines gurgling away behind him, 

"Hey, looks like the morning brew is nice and burnt. Why don't you get a nice hot cup of 'go fuck yourself'?"

Wolford chuckled as he drew the magazine back up to read. Nick shook his head at the wolf. He was a trustworthy companion on the force. Knew when to keep his mouth shut, and out of the office drama and rumor mill. He had been the one to originally send Nick and Judy to talk to MR. His bursts of sarcasm where good fun for Nick. He hadn't really managed to get Judy to come around on him, not yet. 

Their conversation lulled around in Nick's head. He hadn't lied. Judy had all but grown away from the Bigs over the years. Mr. Big valued her role as a godmother over her potential influence within the police. The concept somewhat worried Nick. If Judy was useless, he had his paws in the soup somewhere else. Still, it meant that everyone that Judy hung out with, was an officer or city worker. 

Judy didn't really have anyone else in the city. There was never time for friends with their schedules. Her family was all back home. Everyone except Lilly. 

Nick allowed his chair to clatter to the floor. 

Lilly. 

She was one of Judy's younger siblings. Nick had only met her by proxy. She and Judy would talk at odd hours. Wracking at his brain, he simply could not place what had brought her away from the country into the city. 

_Maybe that's it. Judy's buying it for a sibling,_ Nick thought. _Makes total sense why she wouldn't mention it. Family business. Private._

"Thanks for the pep talk," Nick said, getting up and walking briskly from the room. Judy made a point of being early to the morning briefs. Nick didn't want her to miss it yammering on to Clawhauser. 

Wolfrod glanced up over his shoulder as Nick left the room. 

"No really, can I tell everyone? Chief would love to hear it!"

He was ignored as Nick left the room and turned down the hallway towards the offices. It didn't really make a whole lot of sense to him why Clawhauser would get one of the walled offices. Everyone else did fine in the cubicle farm. The cheetah didn't even spend much time away from the front desk away. 

Nick stopped at the door. He rolled his shoulders, trying to clear his mind of all the paranoia he had built up. His paw came within a hair's breadth of the door when he heard Clawhauser talking. He knew it was wrong to eavesdrop on their conversation. Doing it to a coworker was bad enough. Knowing that Judy was also within the room just made it worse. Nick hesitated only long enough to hear a single exchange. 

"Oh come on bun, you just need to talk to him. He is going to find out soon enough _anyway_!" Clawhauser said. 

Nick's feet kicked into action immediately. He knew he couldn't keep a straight face. Marching down the hall, he turned the corner and pressed his back into the wall. 

_Tell me what exactly?_ He thought. His mind went black, looping around and around at the question. He bit his cheek, trying to rein back his own attentions. 

A door opened around the corner. Nick froze, he knew that Judy wouldn't need to come this way to get to the break room, where she would assume he would be. He cocked an ear out, carefully avoiding poking out around the corner. No footfalls approached. Judy said goodbye to Clawhauser and then silence followed. 

He waited a full minute before braving the corner. The hall was empty. The door to the office still sat ajar. Years of quick thinking churned into gear. Nick knew he could keep a face for a minute or two. Especially with the friendly cheetah. He was not well known for grilling formation out of people. Annoying them perhaps, but he was always a softy. 

Nick leaned against the door frame. 

"Morning buddy," He said in a cheery tone. "You haven't seen my partner this morning have you?"

A safe question. Not one he asked often. Judy was always the one keeping them on time. It was almost tradition for her to drag him from the break room every morning. Still, Nick knew how to work someone. Most mammals didn't ask questions about questions. Prompting one tended to divert them away. It kept suspicions on them, and not Nick. 

The cheetahs reaction was more telling than anything he could have said. A painful surprised glance. The look was gone in the blink of an eye. Years on the beat had honed Nick's skills. Before the ZPD he could read mammals in mere seconds. He could tell you enough to know how to work them. The force had trained him to see where things were hiding. Clawhauser was not the most secretive member of their precinct. 

As fast as it had appeared it was gone. His face spread wide with a friendly smile. 

"Oh, morning Nick! You _just_ missed her. I think she was going down to get you in the... Um..."

"Break room, got it. Thanks bud!" Nick turned on his heel and left. What ever they had been talking about had clearly put the cheetah on edge. Nick's mind raced to connected the dots as he headed to the bullpen. 

He found Judy already sitting at the front desk, a folder being carefully laid out in front of her. Nick hesitated for a moment, taking in the scene. Judy was focused on the task she had just begun. She picked up each picture, studying it carefully before placing it back down on a desk. Judy always relished in a new case. Every one of them was a chance to shine. Nick joined her, sitting in another oversized seat. They waited in silence as the morning crew shuffled in. 

The din of the room enveloped them. Nick welcomed the distraction. The words of the morning brief fell to background noise as he worked over what he knew. 

_Okay, so whatever is going on, is serious enough for Judy not to talk to me. I mean, sure, sometimes bunnies just need to talk to someone else. That makes sense. Yeah, total sense._

_Then what's so serious? Is her sister pregnant? Wolford wasn't wrong. Rabbits in Zootopia didn't get their reputation for nothing..._

_You're being spiciest._

_It's not spiciest, it's statistics!_

Nick went in circles with himself. Around and around the idea until Judy finally broke him free of the trance with a playful punch to his arm. 

"Come on dummy, we need to go prep the cruiser!"

Nick looked up and around to the room. They were the last two there, the rest of the shift having left to begin the day. Judy stopped at the door, turning back to call out again. 

"Nick! Come on! We gotta get out to Tundra Town before morning traffic snarls up!"

* * *

Nick leaned his head back in the cruiser. Flakes of snow fell from the sky, landing on the windshield and turning into lazy steaks of water. His coat sat on his lap, freeing him from the insulation in the toasty warm cruiser. Outside, his partner stood with a backup unit. Two sheep from the local precinct had shown up just a minute ago. 

The request wasn't all that uncommon. Lots of prey in the city still weren't all too keen on a fox cop. There had been a time when this would have bothered Nick, but his duty become a sort of shield. Nick's first responsibility was to the citizens of the city. If that meant sitting in the cruiser, parked up the street, and watching the scene from a distance, then it was exactly what he was going to do. 

He had a puzzle to work at anyway, or at least that's how he saw it. A female pig waved a fist in the air furiously at the officers. Nick tensed for a moment, his paw instinctively reaching for the radio. He held the transmitter, ready to call for whatever might be needed. 

With a sigh he put the small black microphone back on it's holster. The pig had turned away from them, cross her arms and yelling animately at nothing in particular. Judy stood defiantly behind her, waiting for the tantrum to pass. 

"That-a girl Hopps," Nick chuckled. 

_She has the patience of a saint. Judy really would make a great... Mom...._

The thought fired through his brain like a gunshot. Every fiber of control he had screamed out. They begged the train of thought to stop. Not to question the reality of what he had seen. 

_Judy is nearly thirty now. Most rabbits are looking at at least a few dozen kits her age._

_That's speciesist. Stop being speciesist._

Nick scowled at his disagreeable conscience. 

_Stop bringing that up. It's not and umm... I know that._

He slumped back into the hard material of the seats. 

_So, we know Judy is right age. And yeah, she says she doesn't want kits, not sure I buy that. I mean, everyone lies sometimes, right? So what does... All... What does all this mean..._

_Let's say she does want kits. What's step one? The pregnancy test doesn't make sense. She knows that foxes and rabbits can't reproduce. There has never been a single reported case. We looked that up together. Okay, so the test isn't for her._

 

Nick felt a tightening in his chest. The text. He had forgotten all about that text. 

_It was about a him? And meeting up?_

His eyes locked onto Judy. Her face was soft, and calm. She moved her paws in gentle, almost soothing motions as she talked to the pig about something. Her entire posture was a deception. From talking, Nick knew how nervous she got at times. Lying was just not in her usual repertoire. He had practiced that exact look with her a hundred times. They worked it over and over until it was a mask she could wear like a second face. 

Nick's eyes narrowed. 

_She wouldn't turn it back on me. Would she? Just go and use that trick?_

_Why wouldn't she? Judy is a bright woman. She knows where she is going in life. Always has. Now? Now she wants kits. Why wouldn't someone like her want them. The city was her dream, and now she has it. Now she wants... A new dream..._

The tightness in his chest redoubled as things began to fall into order. 

_Who ever the him is, she never mentioned it. Then she needed to go to Clawhauser for advice? Plus she needed that pregnancy test for **something**._

Nick's eyes turned away from his fellow officers. They darted back and forth across the dash of the cruiser, trying to find something new to fixate on. His breath came in a short staccato panting. 

Judy. 

The woman he had given his heart and soul over to. She owned him like one on ever had. She would own him for the rest of his days. That was the deal they had made, the bargain they had struck. Mating had sealed the biological contract for Nick. Moving on wasn't really a possibility for him now. He was secured from the biological imperative that was their relationship. Foxes mated for life. 

And her? Nick couldn't bring himself to blame her. Judy was getting older. Her body had its own imperatives. It had its own best interests to watch out for. 

_Of course she would need someone else. Someone who can give her what I never will,_ Nick thought. Finally his breathing began to lengthen. The pain in his chest didn't go anywhere, but at least he start to get back control. 

_Why would I ever... Why would I expect any different._ Nick looked back up at Judy. She shook the pigs hand. Their dispute apparently mitigated. The two sheep officers nodded and turned to walk back to their own cruiser. 

_You're a **fox** Nick. You always have been, and you always will be. How could a bunny really ever settle down and love you? You remember her stories. The years of her parents asking her to settle. To hunker down and start a family. Judy fought them for **years** before you came along. She won that battle every day for twenty years._

_What have you accomplished? Petty thievery? Tricking honest mammals out of hard earned cash? Then what. This? This whole job... It was all her. Just another dream she shared with you. **You** were never her dream. This life is. Working with the people. Serving the city. That's all she really needs. Why would she really need a **fox** in her life. Why wouldn't she move on when she needs more..._

Nick's face snapped to attention. Judy walked back towards the driver side with a weary look. He drew a single long breath to gain his composure. 

_Never let her see that it got to you..._

A blast of chilled air rushed into the small space before Judy could close the door. She tugged off her coat, tossing it over for Nick to hold. 

"What in the blazes is a pig even _doing_ out here?! She isn't adapted to this climate at all!" Judy scoffed. She picked up the binder from the center console, quickly jotting down notes for their report. 

"What'd she want anyway?" Nick asked, looking back out at the pig. She walked away down the street and rounded a corner. 

"Oh, some harassment issue with a shop owner. Claims the polar bear threatened her," Judy said.

"You don't err, sound all that convinced?"

Judy's pen stopped. She looked up at the side of Nick's face. His stare was still locked onto the corner the citizen had vanished around. 

"No. The other officers had already pulled the tapes before they got here. She didn't like things when evidence was turned on her."

"Eh?" Nick asked, turning back to face her. 

"They said it looked rather cut and dry. She started the harassment, he kicked her out of the shop. Still, she wanted to file charges. We told her to show up at her local precinct."

"She won't show," Nick said flatly. 

"Probably not. Still, I want them to have a good statement if she decides to."

Judy turned back to her work. Meticulously documenting every detail while it was still fresh in her head. She checked it over twice, making sure she didn't miss any detail that could matter later. Putting the binder away, she put the car back into drive and pulled their way back into traffic. 

"Thanks for not making that awkward by the way," Judy offered. 

Nick shot her a blank look. His eyes searched her face for an explanation of the comment. 

"What?" He asked as simply as he could manage. 

"The whole 'I don't feel comfortable with a fox' thing," Judy said pantomiming the pigs annoying voice. "I really appreciate you not making a big scene over that stupid speciesism. I know you don't show it gets to you in public, but I wanted you to know I appreciate it." 

"Oh, that?" Nick replied flatly. "Yeah, no gain in winding her up more, right?"

Judy hesitated, her paw resting on the shifter. Gently she chewed at the inside of her cheek. Her eyes tried to pick up Nick's posture without looking obviously over at him. Making a mental note to bring it back up, Judy shifted into gear. 

They drove off in the whirl of snow that fell gently from the sky. Nick turned back out his window. The perpetual snowscape of Tundra Town raced by them. 

_It's gonna happen Nicky. She is avoiding it now. Give her time. Only a day left and she has to come clean. Judy is going to walk out of your life. Just like he did. Just like your friends did. Just like every mammal ever has._

Nick paused for a moment. He waited for his mind to counter. To assure him with gentle support that he knew better. 

_You **don't** know better Nick. She does. She knows what you are. You will never be a father. You will always be what you are. A shifty conmammal of a fox._

Under the noise of the cruisers engine, Nick whispered.

"And you don't deserve her."

* * *

Nick put his towel back into the locker. The room was almost empty. Someone was still back in the far corner of the showers, singly terribly. Most of the day shift had finished up and gone home. Most of the cases take up in the offices, waiting final approval from the chief before being filed away. The time sensitive cases would be shown issued to the first night shift. 

The rest of their day had gone by in a haze. Three domestic despite calls in a row, then being called in as the third backup until to a chase that was all over before they even got there. Another day on the force. Another tally to their tiring days. 

He steeled himself at the tasks still ahead of him. The day had given him time to think. To work out what needed to happen. To prepare himself for the storm. Judy had done what she did best, step up. She had handled every case they ran into. She took them with the same confident stride she always did. 

_You're gonna miss her Nick. When this is all over._

His paw closed the door. To the flimsy metal locker. He sat down to finish dressing himself. His paws shook as he buttoned up the spare hawaiian shirt he always kept at work. 

_You will make it through this Wilde. Just need to start the talks. Just need to set things in motion. Judy will handle the rest. She is good at that. We just need to point her and let go._

Picking up the duffel bag next to him, he joined his partner outside. His face was back before he even got to the door. Calm, relaxed. The tired part of it wasn't even a real lie. They gotten into work nearly thirteen hours earlier. Even coffee had its limits. 

"Come on slick," Judy yelled waving from down the hall. They walked down the back, into the parking garage beneath the massive building. Nick hopped into the driver's seat, and in minutes they had hit the freeway headed west. 

"So," Judy said cheerly. "You are being unusually quiet today."

"Huh?" Nick asked. His paw quivered on the steering wheel for a moment. _Of course she would notice that..._

"Well. You're quiet. No snarky puns. Normally by lunch I want to strangle you, by mid afternoon I want to shoot you, and by now I wouldn't even be worried about hiding the body. You've been quiet since we got to the station this morning. What's up?"

"If you've been noticing this all day Fluff, why wait until now to ask, hm?" Nick tried to deflect the conversation. 

Judy rolled her head back. 

"You and I both know they keep those dash cams recording all day. I didn't want to bring it up when we couldn't talk."

He could see her out of the corner of his eye. Her paws sat neat folded together in her lap, her face gleaming up at him with sincerity. Nick didn't dare to glance over. He knew exactly how disarming those eyes would be to him in that moment. 

"Is it about the pig?" Judy asked. Her voice was soft, filling the car with a gentle warmth.

Nick shook his head slowly, his eyes staring straight ahead. 

Judy's nose twitched. She sat in silence, watching him carefully. The interior of the car strobed gently as the light posts of the freeway rushed past the windows.

"It's..." Nick started, allowing the word to trail off. 

"Is it about last weekend?" Judy asked. "If you need to talk about it more, you know you can ask me Nick."

Her paw came to a rest on his leg, just behind his knee. For a moment his eyes snapped down to glare at the soft grey source of heat before he looked back to the road. 

"I figured it out," Nick spoke with a calm finality. 

Judy's paw slowly retracted to her own lap. Her voice was small, and worried as she spoke. 

"You did? Heh, I guess that makes sense. You always were the observant one," She paused, hoping for Nick to continue. Her fingers intertwined with themselves, fiddling idly. She waited a beat before realizing he was waiting for her. "Are you mad? I wanted to talk to you about it. I just... I didn't know how it would sound?"

Nick's chest convulsed. Somewhere between a laugh and a cough. He shook his head slowly, eyes locked on the lane ahead. He merged to the left, giving himself more room from the slowly thinning herd of traffic. 

"Mad?" Nick asked. "I can be many things. You've... You've seen the faces I used to wear, and the ones I still do. I'm not... I'm not _mad_ at you."

Her face tilted at him. Trying to understand his meaning. 

"Then what's going on Nick?"

"I'm mad at _myself_ Judy," Nick's voice waned. It's stern determination was nowhere to be found. He had practiced this conversation a hundred times in his head. Now that he was up on the stage, the script was lost to him. Emotions tool the wheel, improvising as they went. 

"I know... I just," he began, "I just need to say it. Okay... I know you want kits Judy."

Her face turned away the instant he said the words. It was all the confirmation he needed. 

"We talked about it," Nick continued. "I know you promised me you never did. But I get it. These things aren't always what we... Want them to be. You can't control your body anymore then the rest of us can. I'm not... Mad at you for that." His voice shook, desperately trying to stay in control of itself. "And I get it. I can't give you what your going to need now. You want something that you and I just... We ca-can't have. I-I can't..."

Tears began to fall down Nick's face. His claws dug into the cheap material of the steering wheel. The world around him sounded quiet and distance. He could almost hear his heart pounding away at his chest. This was all going askew faster than he had planned. 

"I'm okay with what you wanna do Judy. Go meet this guy. See if he is the right kind of bunny. Do... Do what ever you need to do."

Judy stole a quick glance out the window as their exit flew by. She dismissed it instantly. Nick was driving on auto pilot, not really paying attention to where they were going. 

"Nick... What do you think is going on here?"

The car's blinker clicked on, Nick aggressively switched lanes twice. He pulled over into a rest stop, the last one before the road departed north and out of the city entirely. The car came to a harsh stop at the first parking spot he could find. He sat breathing, paws still on the wheel. 

"Don't... Just don't..." He tried to start, staring out at the traffic speeding by. His face turned to her, his eyes irritated from the steady stream of tears. "Don't leave me Judy. Oh gods, I promised myself I wouldn't do this. Dammit."

His fists pounded once onto the side of the steer wheel. Drawing them back to his face, he clawed along the top of his head, ruffling the fur.

"I don't want to beg. I... I don't deserve anything that we have had together Judy. I get that. You have been _so kind_ to me these past few years. Every moment we have had? I cherish them. I told myself I would let you do whatever you wanted, but I just can't. I can't lose this. It can't just all... Go away... I can't lose you Judy."

Judy's face was frozen. Stuck between fear and utter bewilderment. Her nose twitched every few moments, her eyes darting back and forth between Nick's. Slowly her jaw worked. It trembled at first, trying to lot out silent words. Finally her eyes scowled as she steadied herself. 

"Nicholas Wilde," she said as calmly as she could manage. Her eyes threatened to revolt and let lose their own wave of tears. She held them back with every ounce of spare willpower she had. "You are going to tell me _exactly_ what you think is going on here. _Now_ "

Her paw pointed down at the seat between them. Nick blinked at her, unsure of where she was going with this. It was all clear in his head. How could Judy not understand he saw through the lies?

"You want kits," He said with a shaking voice. "You want kits and I'll never be able to give them to you."

"Nick, that doesn't even _begin_ to explain what you are saying here," Judy said. Her scowl stayed firmly in place. Fear fueled her anger. Nick had said many stupid things to her in their time together. They had laughed, cried and experienced everything between. She couldn't recall the last time he had made her feel this afraid. 

"How doesn't it?!" Nick burst out. "You've always been the best of us Judy. Every time things get down to the wire, _you're_ the one that pulls us back up. I'm just a weight. A dead weight to hold you back. I can't offer you everything you're going to need to. I can't be mad at you for knowing that! You want something I can't give you, so you're looking... Somewhere else. Looking for some buck who can give you-"

Judy's paw made harsh contact with the sensitive side of his snout before the words could finish leaving his mouth. She hit him as hard as she could, holding nothing back. His head snapped away for a brief moment, recoiling from the shocking pain before he locked his gaze back to her. His head pulled back from her, away from the reach of the paw that hung in the air between them. It trembled angry, ready to strike again. 

Looking into her face, Nick couldn't begin to read what he saw. Judy's face was bathed in rage and confusion. Slowly his mind picked apart the expressions. It realized what it must mean. The world around Nick became quiet. The ringing in his ears muffled everything else out. His eyes locked on the shaking paw drifting in the air. 

_She realised it_ , Nick thought to himself. _She just realised what I know. You put the puzzle together Nick. And then you told her. Good job. Now she is doing what all rabbits do when you **corner them**. She is defending herself. Why wouldn't she? Confined space. Trapped with a predator. With fox who knows what she needs to do. Who knows she needs to leave._

Time passed slowly in his head. His lips were the last vestige of sensory input. Nick could feel his breath drying them as his chest stretched for air. His voice bit at the back of his mind. 

_Judy... She wouldn't..._

_Yes. She. Would. It would be easy. Ten minutes and she has a suitcase packed. That's all that bunny needs to survive. She doesn't need the house, she doesn't need anything you can give her, and she doesn't need you. What are you worth to her?_

_I've... I'm... But-_

Nick felt like he was floating. As if world itself had left him adrift with nothing but his thoughts. He could feel them winning. Like an uncaring tide, they swelled around him. Nick accepted his fate as oblivion absorbed him. He felt nothing. 

_You are done Nick. She was the one good thing you ever managed to accomplish. The **one thing** you were able to keep your claws into for more than a moment. And now she is going to walk away. Judy's a trier. Always has been, and always will be. What are you? You're an anchor. Dragging her down._

Something grabbed at him. It was strong. It drew him up from the currents of his mind back into the world. His head swung wildly from side to side, looking for the source of the distraction. His ear twitched. The voice was muffled at first, as if cried from a distance room. 

"Nick?!" Judy repeated. His head finally stopped swiveling around, looking directly at her. She kneeled next to him on the seat, her weight leaning into the grip. "Nick, are you with me?"

Judy's paw shook his arm again. He looked down at it, blinking a few times before nodding. Reality did little to welcome him back, short of the now pounding headache he had. Judy sat back to her seat, her eyes watching Nick carefully. She waited a few seconds before talking. Her voice came out quietly, in a hush just loud than din of the car's engine. 

"What do you think is going on here? You think I would _cheat_ on you Nick?" Her eyes were wide with confusion. Her lips puffing slightly as her nose twitched above them. Her chest trembled as something in her snapped, and gave way. All at once her body collapsed back into the seat. Her arms falling limply to her sides. "Nick. You never _listen_. Never when it really matters. You know that? When you think you know something, and you think you see how things are. You stop _listening_ to me."

She took a moment for her breath to catch up to her. Nick's eyes danced along her face, desperately trying to understand what she was saying. His mouth finally closed, allowing him to wet his now dry tongue. With effort he was able to swallow. It did little to relieve the feel in the back of his throat. 

"I... I get it," Judy continued. "You grew up with just your mom. And then when you lost her, you di-didn't have anything else to stand on. You had yourself, and sometimes Finnick," she turned her defeated face to him. "But that isn't your life anymore Nick. That isn't who you have to be. You aren't _alone_ here."

Nick's ears flattened back, the shock of the situation gripped tightly at his chest. Judy's burst like a dam, allowing a sudden flow of tears to fall. They slowly dampened the fur on her cheeks. 

"We _talked_ about this Nick. For _days_ we went over this. I understand you. I know you don't think that, but... I get it. When we took that last step, together? When you shared yourself with me? It was forever. We both knew there would never be a turning back for you. You would never take anyone else after that. 'Foxes mate for life'. _I understand that_. I understand... You. 

"What I don't understand is why you won't listen back to me. _Yes_ , I think I'm starting to want kits."

His mouth opened, ready to answer her statement. Judy's paw came up firmly between them, holding flat and open palmed towards him as if to say stop. 

"Yes. I feel that want, that desire. It's there Nick. I'm... Sorry I lied, but yes. It's starting to be there. But it's a _want_. That's it. Just something that hovers around in the back of my mind like a stupid food craving or something."

Judy drew a ragged breath, trying to keep her voice calm. 

"B-but I _need_ you. I need you to be there for me. I need you to be next to me when I wake up in the morning. You don't have any idea how bad I felt waking up alone this weekend. That scared me Nick. More than I was willing to admit, but it _really_ scared me. I can't make it without you. You've been my harbor in the storm, from the first day I got to this city. You said I'm always the one pulling us up when it's down to the wire? Nick... How many times have you had my back when _no one else did_? I wouldn't have my badge without you. I've lost track of how many tight spots you and I have been in, where I wouldn't have made it out without you..."

Her breaths calmed. She brushed away the tears from her face, trying to clear up the matted fur. Her glare finally relaxed, she looked back out the front of their car. Nick sat dumbfounded. 

"So... Yeah. That 'guy' tomorrow? The one I assume you saw the text of? Yeah, he is a buck," Judy's paw flicked back up to stop him again. Her expressions pleaded with him as she spoke. "He is a researcher Nick. A doctor. My sister works with him. This isn't a date, it's a tour. A chance to meet him and his team. It's a stupid... Doctors visit Nick. That's all."

Judy's paw relaxed, slumping again onto the seat between them. Her head hung down, not wanting to look up at Nick. 

_Stupid stupid bunny,_ she thought to herself. _You lie and you misdirect, and look what you do. You just hurt him..._

Slowly, Nick reached down and unfastened the buckle of the seat. He slid carefully towards Judy, watching for her to stop him. Seeing no objections, he allowed himself to come up next to her. His paw reached down, picking hers up. Their fingers intertwined. A gentle patter came against their windows as the sky finally let loose an evening shower. Nick reached over, and turned the engine off. The busy lights of the freeway danced in front of them, sparkling through the dots and streaks of water. 

_She isn't leaving me_ , was the only thought in Nick's mind. It raced around in tight circles, chasing all other thoughts away. His lips moved slightly, mouthing the words over and over. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had some fun moving things around in this chapter. We are starting to get into a bit more of the feel and tone of where things are going to be taken and what we have in store ahead of us. 
> 
> Thanks to all my buddies who helped me with the "Bro Talk" scene, as I was beyond lost there... 
> 
> As always, reviews are appreciate! Critiques help me learn!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick and Judy visit the doctors, and learn what the path ahead looks like.

"And you're sure these guys are _actual_ doctors?" Nick asked. His voice bent with the concern.  
  
"I did some snooping online," Judy said patiently from the driver seat. "If these guys aren't real, they are doing an amazing job of covering it up."  
  
Nick anxiously chewed at his lip, looking away from Judy and out the window. He barely noticed when Judy pulled into a side street and stopped. Judging from how picky Judy had been about their dress for the visit, the alleyway simply didn't make sense. He looked back over to find her stared straight at him.  
  
Pulling his head backward slightly, Nick quickly tried to figure out why Judy was glaring at him.  
  
"What?" He asked.  
  
Judy blinked several times, slowly.  
  
"You know what. You're being quiet again."  
  
"What, a fox can't enjoy a nice quiet drive with his partner?"  
  
Judy's mouth twisted to the side. Her questioning eyes narrowed.  
  
"Nick," she said impatiently. "If you're not up for this..."  
  
She waited for him to respond. To offer some new tidbit of information on his thoughts. It wasn't like Nick to be distracted, much less quiet. The pattern of behavior was beginning to worry her.  
  
"It's just," Nick started, looking forward and away from her piercing gaze. "I guess I'm feeling off from last night. Everything still feels off."  
  
Judy pulled out her phone.  
  
"What are you doing?" Nick asked.  
  
"I'm texting my sister to tell her that tonight isn't going to work."  
  
Nick's paw came to a rest on her wrist, stopping the text in its tracks. Judy looked back up at Nick.  
  
"Don't," he said. "From what you told me, just getting this meeting took a lot. I don't want to ruin this for you. I'll be fine."  
  
"Okay," Judy responded cautiously. Her phone clicked off and was returned to her pocket. "But, if you say it, we walk out. Okay? There isn't any pressure for you to be here tonight."  
  
Nick held back the shame bubbling under the surface. Judy was treating him like a pup. With delicate care she held his paw. He gripped it back tightly and released. Freeing himself from the embarrassing support it offered.  
  
"I mean it Nick. You and I first," Judy stated as she pulled a short turn and brought them back on the road.  
  
Within minutes they arrived at their destination. They parked in a nearby underground garage, and walked to the front of one of the tallest buildings in the city center. It's tan exterior stretched far up to the skyline above them. They stood on the sidewalk, as the evening crowds milled around them. Nearly a dozen gleaming doors of the building opened and closed as various mammals left work for the day.  
  
"It's not too late you know," Judy said, taking his paw in her hand.  
  
"And let you hold that over my head? Never in a million years fluff."  
  
He stepped forward, dragging her along with him. She gave a surprised squeak as they meandering through the crowd. They entered through one of the smaller doors and quickly found the buildings sizable directory.  
  
Judy looked up at him, and pondered if she should poke at what he meant. She shook her head and began to scan down through the immense list of companies.  
  
"Who are we looking for anyway?" Nick asked.  
  
"My sister said they were called 'Crossroads'," Judy mumbled as her finger swept along the list of companies.  
  
"You're joking," Nick asked as his eyes furrowed.  
  
"There! Seventy-fifth floor. No, why would I be joking?" Judy asked as they walked up to the long row of elevators.  
  
"Well, I didn't bring a picture to bury. And I can't think of a more, _ominous_ name than something like that."  
  
"Huh?" Judy asked back, pressing the button to call a car. "What are you on about?"  
  
"It's on old myth. You bury your photo at a crossroads, and the devil comes forward to make you a deal. Or something like that."  
  
"You think you're gonna find the devil seventy five floors up in a skyscraper? In the middle of Zootopia?" Judy asked with a grin.  
  
"Eh, their name is still creepy."  
  


* * *

  
  
They walked off of the elevator, walking straight to the only office on that floor of the building. The entrance lobby was luxurious. Every surface was a different shade of finely polished marble. A row of various sized couches lined the edges, leading up to a massive reception desk. Two stone column reached down from the ceiling to abut the desk. Soft classical music played from hidden speakers in the ceiling.  
  
Nick leaned down to whisper into Judy's ear.  
  
"This is where they cart out the classic villain and we get to do an epic chase up to the roof, right?"  
  
"Hush," Judy responded, giving him a friendly jab to his side.  
  
"No really! I didn't bring my sidearm. It's not gonna look cool if we don't get into a shootout with the bad guy."  
  
"At least we found your mouth again," Judy muttered as she walked forward. The room was devoid of any other mammals. No one was at the desk after hours. She pressed the small buzzer on the desk and waiting.  
  
Nick rocked back and forth on his feet, his mind working hard to keep a good face up. The room felt so off. Nothing like a doctor's office. Certainly nothing that they could ever hope to afford.  
  
"Judy!" came an unfamiliar female voice from behind them. They both turned to see a short grey rabbit entering through the door in a lab coat.  
  
"Lilly!" Judy cried back, and ran to meet her. They embraced warmly in the center of the cold room. "Where is everyone?"  
  
"Oh, don't worry. The receptionist isn't here most of the time anyway. These offices aren't strictly open for a another few weeks. This is all just show encase investors show up."  
  
The rabbit shifted to her side, peering around Judy to Nick.  
  
"This must be...?"  
  
"Oh, yes! Lilly, this is my partner, Nick Wilde. Nick, this is my younger sister Lilly Hopps. She is the one that got us in the door."  
  
Nick walked over and took the energetic rabbits paw to shake.  
  
"Pleasure to meet you Mr. Wilde."  
  
"Heh, Nick is fine."  
  
Lilly nodded and began to walk around the desk to a large metal door.  
  
"Come on, they will be waiting for us."  
  
She swiped a badge over a reader. The door responded with a loud click and opened slightly. Lilly escorted them from the strange space of the lobby, into a what felt like a hospital wing.  
  
"This is our patient floor," Lilly explained. "It's where all our outpatient procedures take place. It's not staffed yet, but only because the trial hasn't started. This place should be abuzz in about a week. When they bring you two back in, this is where all the magic is gonna happen."  
  
"Um," Judy started. "Nick and I haven't exactly made our decision yet? I was kinda hoping we could learn more today..."  
  
"Oh, of course! I'm sorry. Yes yes, that's not an issue at all!" Lilly said, turned to wave her paws as she backpedaled. They walked by rows of open doors, each opening to a traditional looking examination room. "This whole floor is meant to handle normal patient procedures and examinations. Most of our study group will never need anything more than that. Well, expect for delivery. That goes to the regular hospital at that point. So, you two want to meet the brains of all this?"  
  
Reaching the end of the hall, they were led through an unassuming door, and into a large conference room. The room was a corral of various sized tables, all facing to a central table and podium in the middle. The bight cityscape outside was framed by tall plate windows all along the outside edge of the room. Standing at a table at the middle of the room, stood a pair of mammals. A tall female white wolf stood in freshly pressed suit. In front of her, sat a small bristly porcupine wearing a lab coat. They spoke back and forth quietly as Lilly led the pair to sit at one of the tables near them.  
  
"Doctor Quillian, Doctor Barker?" Lilly asked politely. The two stopped and looked up at the trio at the table.  
  
"Ah, welcome you two!" The wolf spoke, walked out and around the table to offer a paw to shake to both Judy and Nick in turn. "Thank you both so much for meeting us here at this hour of the night."  
  
Judy scratched the back of her neck, not sure how to respond to the suddenly very professional wolf before her.  
  
"It's not a problem really," Judy said. "Thank you for seeing us."  
  
The wolf turned back to the porcupine. He looked Nick and Judy over carefully before nodding.  
  
"My name is Doctor Cassia Barker," the wolf stated. "I'm the lead patient councillor here at Crossroads. I see you are both acquainted with our university intern. Behind me, is Dr. Charles Quillian."  
  
The doctor lifted a paw as a greeting, and nodded to the two.  
  
"So, Lilly tells us that you might have some questions before we begin?" Cassia asked.  
  
Judy moved her small wheeled chair slightly over, reaching up to take Nick's paw. He gave her a concerned look.  
  
"Well," Judy started, turning back with a dim slime to the wolf. "Lilly had to be a bit sparse on the details. Could you help us understand what you do here?"  
  
"We are here," the porcupine spoke up from his table with a strong voice, "To squash yet another hurdle that thousands of mammals face in Zootopia every day. Crossroads is at the cutting edge of genetics. In five years, we plan to offer reproductive services to every single species in the city. Conventional limitations and boundaries between species will not longer exist, when it comes to parenthood."  
  
Nick blinked as his snout dropped slightly. During the day, he had listened to Judy's explanations, but none of it had really sunk in. It had all sounded like research jargon. In the whirlwind of stress, nothing had really reached him. Now it all caught up. He gripped Judy's paw tighter, as the porcupine continued his explanation.  
  
"Today, couples such as yourself are simply incapable of reproduction. Your DNA fundamentally prevents any hybrid offspring. That is where we come in. We are going to _correct_ this limitation."  
  
Judy leaned forward in her chair.  
  
"You think it's possible to create a hybrid between a fox and a rabbit?"  
  
"No," the porcupine responded. "Such a mammal would functionally be an entirely new _species_. No no, we aren't going to do that. What we _are_ going to do is what is known as differential genetic modification."  
  
The wolf stepped forward and slid a picture in front of them. Two mammals stood in a strange artificial pose, their arms held out in a 'T'. They were clearly generated on a computer. A male fox and a male rabbit stood with blank, expressionless faces.  
  
"Your husband's DNA could never be directly used to fertilize a viable embryo. To many differences. My research went down a different path. The image you see before you is about as close to the average male rabbit as you will ever find. The image was generated by a team of researchers from a collection of thousands of genetic samples of Zootopia's rabbit populous. We call this our standard model bunny. His genetic code represents the best baseline we can achieve today.  
  
"We recently completed a similar survey of foxes within the city. This has given us another baseline for your species Nick. Now that we have the two models, and two patients? The rest is simple math."  
  
Nick and Judy looked at the pictures in front of them. They were about as ordinary an example of their species as you could hope to come up with.  
  
Judy shook her head.  
  
"I'm sorry, I don't understand? What do you mean math?"  
  
The wolf smiled and began to explain.  
  
"These are base lines. The rabbit is what we commonly call the 'model rabbit'. There is no real rabbit in play here. We collected _thousands_ of samples to generate a virtual one. To create _your_ kits, we need to do a little math. We will collect a sample of Nick's DNA. This will be analysed by our computer to determine _exactly_ what makes him different from the model fox our study has produced. That difference is then copied, over to our model rabbit."  
  
Cassia's eyes glanced back and forth from their confused faces.  
  
"For example, let us say that Nick has a slightly below average height for a fox. The system will then determine the equivalent modifications on the model rabbit, and inject them directly into the potential DNA combinations. We do this for every single bit of mapped genome until we are left with what Nick might be as a rabbit. This is then used to fertilize eggs that we collect from you, and used in a fairly straightforward in vitro fertilization process. In more simple terms, Nick, minus fox, plus rabbit-"  
  
"Equals kits," Judy finished.  
  
"Exactly," the spiked doctor responded from his table.  
  
Judy allowed the chair to catch her weight as she fell back. Their paws slipped from the table to hang between them, clenching tightly.  
  
Nick's head shook slowly back and forth.  
  
"Judy," he tried to speak quietly enough for the wolf not to hear. "There is no way we can afford IVF. It's not covered under our medical plan unless one of us is sterile."  
  
Judy's face remained blank as she up to stare at him. Her nose wiggled intermittently as she processed what she heard.  
  
"Actually, that won't be a problem Mr. Wilde," Cassia offered. "You see, we have never accomplished a differential genetic modification that crosses the predator and prey boundary. If you elect for this procedure, two would become the first to ever do so. As such, Crossroads is offering a generous platform of support for the both of you, in exchange for participation in the study."  
  
"What study?" Nick asked.  
  
"Like Ms. Barker said," the porcupine stated flatly, "We have never done a predator prey mix before. You stand on the bleeding edge. Your kits will enter the world as the first of their kind. Purely and whole rabbits genetically, but modified to have all the expected traits of their father. This represents a key milestone for our research. We will need to document and capture every viable point of data we can."  
  
The couple looked back at each other. Their eyes fraught with concern and fear. So many words screamed into their minds, desperately needing to be spoken.  
  
"Perhaps we should give them two some time?" Cassia offered. Without ceremony, the three mammals exited the room and closed the door. Nick and Judy were left alone in the room, high above the busy city below.  
  
The door gave a loud, solid click as it closed, all at once the room fell to silence. A faint whistling of air emanated from the ventilation above them. Their eyes swept back and forth across the other's face.  
  
"Kits," Judy said her voice slicing into weight of the silence.  
  
"Yup," Nick replied, popping the word as he spoke. "Kits."  
  
"Wow," Judy said bad as she turned her attention to the row of plate windows. The lights of the city danced and sparkled. Far off in the distance, she could just make out the light of a train. It raced across the spindly looking bridge towards the city.  
  
"The city is really beautiful from up here, isn't it?" Judy said with a tired voice. She squeezed his paw again, trying to grab Nick's attention. "Nick. If you're not sure, if there is any doubt in your mind, you know I won't be angry, right? It's really okay if you aren't up for this."  
  
Nick let out a ragged breath. His paw released hers as he leaning forward to catch his head, his elbows dropping onto the surface of the table.  
  
"Judy. You know I am with you, all the way to the end. No matter where you go, I want to be standing beside you. I... I just need to know how you feel right now. I need to know _exactly_ what you want."  
  
Nick's arms fell away, allowing his shoulders and face to turn to face Judy.  
  
"No half truths here, what do you _want_." Nick asked again.  
  
Judy's nose puffed slightly as her eyes held wide open, fixated on Nick's. She drew a short snort of breath and gulped.  
  
"Nick... I know we made a promise. Or I guess I did, on the day we first mated. I know I told you that I wasn't that type of rabbit, and that loving every part of you was enough to make me happy. But this might be our only chance at something that shouldn't be a possibility for us. This could be our only chance to ever _really_ be parents. I don't want to walk away from this Nick. I really, _really_ don't."  
  
She reached up and gently glided the tips of her fingers along the side of Nick's face. His eyes closed as he pushed into the touch.  
  
"But, you just say the word," Judy said lovingly. "You just tell me, and we are out that door in a heartbeat. I don't want _any_ of this without you. We do this together or we don't do it at all."  
  
"Then you already have your answer Fluff. I'm with you," Nick said as his eyes opened back up. "All the way to the end."  
  
Judy threw herself forward before the upwelling in her chest could overtake her. She wrapped her arms around Nick's chest, pressing as hard as she could into the comforting warmth. Her paws gave a small shake as she gripped the fabric of his shirt, holding with a desperate grip.  
  
"Thank you," she said into his side. "Thank you _so much_ Nick."  
  
He reached up, gently stroking the back of her head. His palm pressed firmly along the back of each ear in turn. Soon her grip relaxed, and she took an insure step back.  
  
"What?" She asked with a quick sniff. "No emotional bunny comment tonight?"  
  
Nick smiled widely back to her.  
  
"I think you've earned yourself a bit of a breather. At least for tonight," Nick said as he turned to the large imposing doors. "So, do we go face the music?"  
  
"Yeah. Let's tell them the news."  
  
They leaned together against the door. It's solid wooden core gave way begrudgingly to their efforts. They stood before the doctor, the councilor and the student, paw in paw, together.  
  
"So," Nick asked. "How does this whole deal work?"  
  
The trio of mammals relaxed their posture at the question, smiling with relief. The wolf pulled out a packet of papers from her bag. The porcupine and rabbit vanished back down the hallway to the patient rooms, chattering away at all the work ahead of them.  
  
"A couple things are gonna happen tonight," Cassia started. "First you're going to sign a waiver permitting Crossroads to collect DNA samples from both of you. Really we are more worried about Nick here, but it doesn't make sense not to nab Judy while we have her.  
  
"Then you are going to both become my patients for the foreseeable future. We will meet a minimum of once a week. This will jump to once every three days during Judy's pregnancy. These visits are _not_ optional. Crossroads has a vested interest in your good mental health, and I plan to insure that."  
  
The pair nodded up at her.  
  
"Good. It takes about three weeks between initial sampling and gamete collection. During that time we will be making sure that we can produce viable embryos."  
  
The wolf turned and started to lead them to a nearby examination room.  
  
"Once the lab techs are sure we can do it, you two will come back for gamete collection. The actual sequencing and production of embryos is fairly rapid, only takes a few days. The IVF procedure will then be done about a week after collection. From there? Everything is pretty much in nature's hands. Your kits will genetically be actual real rabbits. They will gestate as normal, and with luck, be born normally as well."  
  
They shut the door to the first room, and sat in a ring they formed with the chairs in the room. Judy and Cassia chatted back and forth. Judy was bubbling with questions, most of which were answered simply and easily. Nick sat in the chair trying to listen intently. Most of it fell into a churning chaos of information. Cassia would ask him questions every few minutes, and he would answer them as quickly and flatly as he could.  
  
_We just need to get through one more month,_ he thought. _Just one more month and we are going to be home free..._  
  
A knock came at the door. Lilly peaked her head in.  
  
"Nick? Dr. Quillian is ready to see you in the next room over. Ready to make some history?!" Lilly's voice was upbeat and chipper. Nick did his best to put on a smile for her as he left the room.  
  
"So," Cassia asked as soon as he left. "You seem a little uncomfortable with your partner Judy."  
  
Judy's eyes bulged open, quickly darting to the door and back to the snowy white fir of the wolf.  
  
"What? No! Nick and I are doing fine!"  
  
Cassia's smile held firmly, her body unmoving as she waited. Judy's shoulders fell slowly to her side.  
  
"It's that obvious huh?"  
  
The wolf's head and eyes tilted upwards as she thought.  
  
"I am a trained professional Judy. It's sort of my job to be inside your head as often as I can? What's going on?"  
  
"It's... Yeah, Nick and I had a rough go of things a few nights ago. That sorta rolled into another fight, and then he has just been kinda quiet since."  
  
"Think you could tell me what that fight was about?" Cassia leading forward as she asked, folding her notebook onto her lap to listen.  
  
"That's... Kinda personal?"  
  
"Judy. Legally speaking, I'm your healthcare provider now. My paws are tied, and your health is always going to be my number one concern. You're safe here, you can say what you need to."  
  
Judy sighed. Her paws came together to twiddle, her eyes found a smudge on the floor to stare at.  
  
"Nick and I were... Enjoying ourselves together. Back home..." Judy looked up for a moment. She found a warm, attentive look coming from the councilor. "Well Nick, he had been asking me to be more... Er, Expressive? He wanted me to talk more. Say what I wanted and liked. So I did! I finally let myself go and _really_ got into it. And... That was just after Lilly and I hand texted about talking to you about the program. And I might... Um, I might have asked Nick for kits?"  
  
Cassias paw reached out slowly to come to a rest on Judy's knee.  
  
"I take it that didn't go over well?"  
  
Judy vigorously shook her head. The feelings of that night came back, washing over her. She let out a single shuddering breath before looking back up from the floor.  
  
"I... I hadn't been.... Honest with Nick," Judy said, starting to catch momentum as she went. "We talked about the whole kits thing before we let things get too far for him to back out."  
  
The wolf gave her a nod of encouragement.  
  
"That sort sorta set things off I guess. He found out that I _did_ want them. And then he saw the text from Lilly about tonight, without any context... Everything just went out of paw. We're working on it though. I almost didn't come here tonight, just so he and I could take some time to talk."  
  
Cassie scribbled something down on her pad as a soft knocking came to the door.  
  
Lilly popped in carrying a small bin of tubes and swabs.  
  
"What happened to Dr. Quillian?" Cassia asked.  
  
Lilly gave a quick and nervous glance between the two mammals. She put on the best reassuring grin she could.  
  
"He is currently looking for the... Pliers?"  
  
Cassia muttered something under her breath. Judy wasn't sure if it was a curse or a prayer. In a flash the welcoming energy was back, as she stood and marched from the room.  
  
"She's all your's dear. Judy, we will talk more next time, okay?"  
  
Judy nodded as she rounded her way out the door and stormed off.  
  
"Your boyfriend took a few to the face," Lilly said flatly.  
  
"Um a few what?"  
  
Lilly sat the crate down and drew a few swabs from their vials. She turned to Judy.  
  
"Be a dear and open wide for me? Ah, thanks." Lilly pushed the swab in and harshly against Judy's cheek. "Dr. Quillian turned around and Nick sorta missed it? His face looks like one of those old TV antennas right now. Oh, don't give me that look! He will be fine! Nothing a few liquid sutures won't seal right up."  
  
Judy gar her sister a mortified look.  
  
"Stop! Nick is _fine_. He just needs a few, holes patches up after they pull the quills."  
  
Judy stood up from her chair she eyed the door as Lilly quickly capped off he samples and placed them back into the crate.  
  
"Lilly," Judy said sternly.  
  
Her sister bit her lip, nervously glanced back out to the door.  
  
"Let me get one more set and I _promise_ we will go see him? He is just two rooms down the hall anyway."  
  
A short time later they reached the door, pressing it only gently. Judy's paw covered her mouth instantly.  
  
Nick sat on the examination table. His arms hung off his shoulders in defeat. The wolf had a pair of green gloves on her paws, holding Nick's face as still as she could. Standing in front of him on a stool, the porcupine careful worked a pair of pliers to pull set of quills from Nick's nose. Nick's eyes looked over to Judy, and immediately snapped away to look straight forward. His lips let out a huff of air.  
  
"Nick, oh Nick," Judy said softly as she stepped into the room. Nick's muzzle quivered as the doctor pulled another quill out.  
  
"Your partner is not the most spatially aware patient I have had," the porcupine said flatly. He tilted his head back, looking down the bridge of his nose as he carefully grabbed another quill. Nick's eyes narrowed, simmering with quiet rage.  
  
Judy and Lilly sat quietly in the chairs at the edge of the room, watching silently as the last of the quills was removed. His snout was cleaned, and a quick layer of liquid bandages stopped the trickles of blood. With a nod from the doctor, Cassia released Nick's head. He craned his neck, allowing it to stretch.  
  
"Has anyone every told you, you're a bit of a prick doc?" Nick asked as his gingerly touched the side of his nose.  
  
"Ha ha Mr. Wilde. The bandages should tide you over until morning. Try not to poke at them too much?" Dr. Quillian turned to Judy. "We will be in touch once the lab results are back. Until then, you are in Cassia's capable hands."  
  
Without so much as a good by the doctor nodded to Lilly and left the room. She gave Judy a worried smile before leaving with her own crate.  
  
"Wow," Judy said as the door closed. "He is um..."  
  
"Not the best bedside manners," Cassia said cheerfully as she peeled the plastic gloves off her paws and threw them into a bin. "It's not his job sadly. Dr. Quillian isn't in the business of making friends."  
  
Nick looked up from his nose at the wolf in exasperation. She cocked an eyebrow at him and sat down on the stool left in the center of the room.  
  
"Patient care isn't why he is here. That mammal belongs in the lab, I know," Cassia sighed. "But, let's not fret over it much, hm? We have dates to look at."  
  
She pulled a small printed calendar from her bag and sat it on a kneeboard. She used a pen to quickly circle dates over the next several months.  
  
"With your samples collected, we have a three week wait before we are ready to 'pull the trigger' as it were. You two will both need to come in on this date," she said, pointing along the various marks as she went. "You're going to get a phone call about five days prior to give you both some instructions. Follow them to the letter, _please_. You're both going to get some texts to come in about once a week leading up to the IVF procedure for physicals. Nothing special, shouldn't take more than fifteen minutes a piece. If you have any questions, call me. My number is all over that packet you have. If everything goes well, Judy will be back in for the actual IVF procedure a week after that. With luck, we will then have about forty days before we all get to go visit the hospital."  
  
"We?" Judy asked.  
  
"Crossroads will be working with the hospital staff to collect data from your kits. No extra procedures will be performed without your express consent. The only thing you're signing away is their medical privacy for our records keeping. I'm there to support the both of you."  
  
Judy bit her lip, giving Nick a worried look. He face had relaxed, he sat blinking back at her.  
  
"Well, it's getting late you two. I'm sure you have plenty to talk about," Cassia said standing up. "You two have any more questions?"  
  
Judy shook her head no. They were given a sizable packet of reading materials, contracts and agreements to take home. Minutes later they walked paw in paw from the building, back out into the chilled evening air. Most of the evening rush had finished, only a few mammals milling back and forth on the street. Judy gave Nick's paw a firm squeeze. It took only a moment longer than it should have for him to return it.  
  


* * *

  
  
"So," Judy said awkwardly as she sat down on the couch in their living room. "Thoughts?"  
  
Her eyes searched Nick's for any hints at what he was feeling. The ride home had been nearly silent. At best she had gotten a quick exchange about work out of the fox.  
  
"That doctor is a prick," Nick said flatly. He walked in a tired swagger to the couch, and fell back into it beside her.  
  
"Well, I'm not sure I disagree there. But, like she said, we don't really need to like _him_."  
  
Nick gave her a curt nod of agreement. His eyes wandered across the pictures on the far wall as his mind searched for words.  
  
"It's... It's a lot to take in Judy. When you told me you wanted me to come with you, I really didn't understand what was going to happen. I guess I didn't really take it all in? You should read that packet they gave us. I'm gonna need a computer just to understand half the words they used to describe it. Everything still feels... Distant. It isn't _real_ yet."  
  
Judy gave him a firm grip on the knee.  
  
"Take all the time you need Slick," Judy said. "Really, we don't even need to make a choice for three weeks."  
  
Nick's lips pursed slightly as her turned to look at her. If age had offered Nick any lessons, it was that weeks were truly meaningless. They would be gone if he let it. In the blink of an eye they would be in a car going back down to those offices.  
  
"Yeah. I know."  
  
"Go think," Judy said nodded to the window behind them. Nick turned to look into their tiny yard, and the small shed he had built in it.  
  
Nick gave Judy a quick hug, thanked her, and vanished into the darkness of the night. Judy waited until she saw the dim light in the small structure turn on.  
  
_Take all the time in the world,_ she mouthed to the window. _I'm not going anywhere. Not without you with me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for a bit of an exposition chapter. We needed to introduce some of the players, and get everyone a bit caught up on what we are planning in a bit. Hopefully we managed to sneak in enough interest along the way? 
> 
> Either way, share your thoughts! I **love** to hear what I am doing wrong!


	4. Chapter 4

Judy Hopps stood on her couch, looking out through the window at the backyard. Their small wooden shed sat in the pitch back veil of the evening. Only thin slits of light shone out from around the loose fitting door. She gave it a bittersweet smile. Her partner, the mammal she would spend the rest of her life with, was within its small confined walls. It served a dual purpose, storing there gardening supplies, as well as offering quiet solitude.  
  
The shed was a point of escape for Nick. He could shut the world out within it's cramped space. Something about it reminded him of home, giving him a place to look inward at himself. He had always been a quick thinker. She was sure he would return within the hour.  
  
A faint buzzing came from her pocket. Her phone vibrated for the third time since they had gotten home. Finally, giving in to who ever was being impatient, Judy took out her phone.  
  
'Lilly Hopps  
_9:45_ Hey sis! Got time for a call?  
_9:49_ Juuuuuuuuuuuudy. Helloooo!  
_10:01_ Judy judy judy judy judy jydy judy judy judy'  
  
"Note to self, find out who gave my sister caffeine and arrest them," Judy mused as she turned to walk to her bedroom. Grabbing her bright orange laptop, she bounded up onto the bed, and quickly gathered a pile of pillows to nest her back against.  
  
She opened the bright laptop, as it chimed over and over as the emails from the evening rolled in. Judy dutifully scanned through them one by one, making sure nothing had exploded back at work. The never ending stream of paperwork had become part of their lives. She marked of what could wait until morning, and wrote short replies to those that could not. Finally, she opened up Yip.  
  
The application had hardly opened before a video request flashed up on her screen. Judy chuckled as she clicked it, her family was nothing if not consistent. After years of work, she had her mother trained to only leaving two voice mails if she didn't answer the phone. The hundreds of siblings were more of a lost cause. Their propendency for impatience would win out by sheer numbers alone.  
  
" **Judy**!" Lilly screamed out the instant her face appeared. Her background was unfamiliar, not the college dorm that Judy had expected to see. Strange while tiling and trays of multicolored wiring covered the ceiling behind her.  
  
"Heh, hey Lilly. What's going on? Where _are_ you?"  
  
"Oh, I am still down at Crossroads. Dr. Quillian insisted that we get the samples started tonight. I'm just waiting on a few more steps before I can go home," Lilly explained as she tilted the laptop down and around the lab in a quick sweep. Most of the lights had been turned off, leaving an odd creepy room behind her.  
  
"So, how are _you_ doing?" Lilly asked with wide eyes. Judy couldn't tell if she asking her as a sister, or as some sort of test subject.  
  
"We're okay. That was... A _lot_ to take in. Nick said he couldn't really understand half the packet you guys gave us."  
  
"Oh, most of that is just legal bunk they have to run by all the test groups. If you have any questions just give me a ring, I can walk you both through the whole thing."  
  
Judy smiled warmly at her.  
  
"Thanks Lilly, that would be really nice."  
  
"Where's Nick anyway? Aren't you in bed?"  
  
"Oh him? He's just a bit wound up from everything. Went out for some fresh air."  
  
Lilly's mouth pursed, her eyes sweeping back and forth as she thought.  
  
"Well, you know you two can talk to Cassia any time, right?"  
  
Judy chuckled as she shifted herself to get comfortable.  
  
"Oh, we're fine Lilly. Really. This is just a... Well it's a big choice, you know? A week ago Nick and I would have told anyone that we _never_ wanted kits. Now this? And in less than a month?" Judy said. Concerns bubbled from the back of her mind. Her eyes narrowed as she spoke, as the facts of their visit became less clear to her. Gears churned away in her head.  
  
"Lilly?" She asked slowly.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"There isn't anything funny going on under the table here... Is there?"  
  
"What?" Lilly asked. Her eyebrows raised in suppose, her paws waved in front of the camera defensively. "There is nothing illegal going on here! Why would you ask that?"  
  
"Well, for one thing, free medical care? I love Zootopia, but nothing in this city is free. Plus, they didn't even give us an examination before grabbing samples? And everything is on such a _rush_. And-"  
  
"Judy, Judy, Judy," Lilly cut her off. "First things first, this isn't a free lunch. Crossroads wants to trade. You get kits, they get data and press. Everyone wins. This whole program is partially funded through the university. Why do you think we have so many interns in here? You really think we wouldn't raise heck at the first sign of ethical issues? Protesting is practically a sport at ZU.  
  
"Secondly, you're both police officers. I hear the doctors drag you in for a tune up about as often as those cruisers you blast around in. The physicals _here_ are gonna ramp up once they know they can actually accomplish what they think they can. They don't wanna waste your time on procedures that might not be needed anyway, just give them time."  
  
Lilly paused for a moment to catch her breath.  
  
"This isn't a scam Judy. This is the real thing. This is life, right in front of you. _Someone_ is going to be the first to do this. Someone is going to be brave enough to take that first step. Why shouldn't it be you?" Lilly smiled wryly. "Being first never stopped you before you know."  
  
"Well," Judy said with a stubborn glare at her younger sister. "Okay, I guess that makes sense." She pondered for a moment. "Hey, can I ask you something?"  
  
"Anything," Lilly replied, her bright smile returning. Judy chewed her lip for a few moments, building the courage to ask.  
  
"Is what we are doing... Wrong?"  
  
Lilly tilted her head to the side, allowing her ears to flop slightly out and back.  
  
"Wrong? You mean, Crossroads, or you sleeping with the enemy?" Lilly put on the best shit eating grin she could manage. Mischief danced from her eyes. Judy could only scowl back. The harsh expression lasted only a brief moment before it gave way to concern.  
  
"Well... Kinda the latter? I mean. Kits. Wow, the stuff your boss was talking about was... Amazing. I'm just worried I guess? I love Nick to death, but the kits father would be a-"  
  
"Kind, loving mammal," Lilly interrupted her before she could finish. "Listen Judy, I know most of the family doesn't see eye to eye with you. Hell, I'll be honest here, I am never going to really understand why you are with Nick. But you're Judy, it's what you do, what you've _always_ done. I grew up hearing horror stories of the things you put mom and pop through. You have done many things sis, but you've _never_ danced to anyone's drum but your own."  
  
Lilly let out an audible huff before she continued.  
  
"Getting you two into this study? It wasn't easy. I had to campaign for you for _weeks_ before they would even entertain the idea. Crossroads thought I was just some intern trying to help out family. Then they did an initial probe at you two. When that came back clean, they hired a small team of private investigators to dig up _everything_ they could."  
  
Judy's face herd a stern and worried look.  
  
"Lilly... If they dug up everything?" Judy slowly shook her head. "I've not exactly kept in a secret that I never wanted kits. Asking any of my friends would have told you that."  
  
Her sister gave her a worried smile.  
  
"Um. Yeah, you see. They actually _did_ find that. It disqualified you immediately..."  
  
"Then how? How did we end up...?" Judy trailed off with her question.  
  
There was a hesitation before Lilly responded. Her eyes darted off the screen for an instant before snapping back to Judy's.  
  
"Promise you won't be mad?"  
  
"Mad about _what_ Lilly?" Judy asked.  
  
"Just promise!"  
  
Judy considered her sister carefully. She looked like a worried kit, caught with their paw in the cookie jar.  
  
Slowly Judy nodded to her. Lilly looked down at her phone, swiping through images until she found what she wanted. She held it carefully in front of the camera.  
  
Judy's skin when numb. Nearly a month ago she and Nick had somehow been conned into a night of bar hopping. She let things go a bit further than she had expected. Clawhauser roped her into a drinking game. Nick had downed drink after drink without issue. His smug calmed looked had itched at her, then Judy's competitive side had gotten the better of her. The next thing she remembered was waking up back home, a towel and bucket next to her in the bed, and Nick giving her a worried look.  
  
She thought that had been the end of the night. Sitting on the laptop in front of her was damning proof she was wrong. It was screen shot, taken with the phone itself. On it, was a one time readable message. One of those odd social messaging applications Judy had been talked into getting. The application was supposed to delete it once Lilly closed it. On it was a single message from her, to Lilly.  
  
'Omh. i think i want nicks kits!'  
  
Her mind raced. How many mammals had she sent that message out too? She had no memory of sending it to Lilly, she was amazed she could have even used her phone in that condition. The confusion and worry gave way to annoyance.  
  
"Lilly!" She said with sudden anger. "How could you save that?! That's supposed to be deleted after you read it!"  
  
"I did it for _you_! I needed to show them! To let them see that you were changing your mind. They loved everything else about to two, expect that _you_ didn't want any damned kits. Then I got _this_ and everything changed! Dr. Quillian finally agreed to a meeting, and well, the rest is history now."  
  
Judy ran her paws along the back of her head, tugging firmly at the base of her ears.  
  
"Nick can't _ever_ see that Lilly."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"He doesn't know," Judy said quietly, leaning into her screen. "Nick only found out that I felt differently a few _days_ ago. He. Can't. Know. It would kill him to know how long I'd been thinking about this."  
  
"You didn't _tell_ him?!?" Lilly burst out.  
  
"You don't think I wanted to!? There was just... Never time, or things were weird, or he had a long day. The whole kits thing was sorta a big deal, you know?"  
  
"Um, what? What's the big deal about not having kits with your boyfriend? I mean, don't get me wrong here, it's awesome you two are willing to take that step now, but it's not like it was expected-"  
  
"Lilly. Foxes aren't _like_ us," Judy said. "They don't do the whole non-committal thing, like, at all. No one night stands or any of that stuff."  
  
"Well yeah, but wait, What... What are you saying? Nick has only ever slept with-"  
  
"Me, yes. Nick will never take anyone else now that we are... Together..." Judy said sheepishly as the frankness of the conversation caught up with her. Her paws fell from her ears, and away from their suddenly hot warmth as she blushed.  
  
"Wow," her sister sat back, bouncing slightly on her lab chair. Her eyes wandered along her desk for a few moments before she could look Judy in the eyes again. "Okay, I'll delete it. Here? See? Gone. I'm sorry Judy, I really didn't... Understand."  
  
"It's... Okay," Judy lied. Years of being with Nick had prepared her for these moments. She didn't let anyone see the stinging pain the assumptions caused her. "It's just, I sorta _told_ him... During, well you know..."  
  
Lilly's eyes gave a rapid series of blinks. Her mouth opened slightly to hang agape.  
  
"You didn't..."  
  
She could only respond with a nervous and unsure grin.  
  
"You told him while you were having sex?!?" Lilly spat out in disbelief.  
  
"Yes?" Judy said forcing a smile. "The uh... Timing wasn't all that good, heh."  
  
"Ya _think_?!" Lilly laughed. "Man, that must have been awkward. I can hear the screeching brakes now, talk about a mood killer."  
  
Lilly watched as Judy's smile became even more strained, her eyes darting across her screen.  
  
"It... _Didn't_?" Lilly asked, incredulously.  
  
"Like I said, the timing wasn't all that good," Judy said.  
  
The gears churned away in Lilly's mind. Rumors and facts swilled around as she tried to delicately from her question.  
  
"So... When things were done...?"  
  
"Yeah. Stuck. For like, minutes," Judy said flatly. "Most awkward few minutes of my _life_."  
  
"Judy," Lilly said with paws partially covering her mouth. "Oh, I'm so sorry-"  
  
She was interrupted as Judy held up a paw to the screen.  
  
"It's fine. I mean, it was weird, but it's sort of biology you know? It's not like he could help it." Judy drew a long breath and sighed. The hot blood pounded away at the blush on her face and ears. "We are working on it; Talking about it, that is. Getting him to open up is hard right now, but we're working at it."  
  
Lilly nodded as they sat in silence. The awkward tension of the conversation filtered out slowly as they sat together. It wasn't what Judy really needed at the time, she would have given almost anything for a hug. Still, Lilly was there for her, a warm, if energetic, face to be with.  
  
"So," Lilly asked carefully. Her ears and eyes perked up as she asked her question. "How is he?"  
  
"Nick?" Judy asked leaning out and around the screen. She couldn't see the back yard from the bed, but staring out the door and down the hall let her at least know that he wasn't back inside yet. "He's fine. He just needs some time to be himself. Normally it doesn't take him more than an hour to relax and come back in-"  
  
"That's not what I asked," Lilly said with the mischief returning to her eyes. "I asked you how _is_ he..."  
  
Judy's head dropped back at the question. She felt a sudden moment of stupidity for being at all surprised by her sister. If Judy had been the tryhard, Lilly had always been the inquisitor. She had single handedly caused their parents to install more child safety locks than every single litter before hers. Nothing was off limits to Lilly, at least not in her own mind. Judy let out a sputtering breath between her lips. A delaying tactic.  
  
"He's... Good," she said after carefully considering her options. Lilly would never stop asking questions merely because anyone else was uncomfortable. Judy hoped to bore her instead.  
  
"And...?" Lilly asked back. Judy rolled her eyes.  
  
"And we have fun?" Judy asked with a skewed grin.  
  
Lilly gave her an encouraging and happy nod.  
  
"You're not going to drop this, are you?" Judy asked.  
  
"What? Do you have any idea how rare interspecies relationships are? I can count the ones I know of on one paw, and I live on campus! No one _talks_ about this stuff! And you? Oh sis, you took the cake. You walked past interspecies and want right for the predators. Not just _any_ predator, no no no. That would be too easy. You went for _foxes_. Right for our old dining buddies."  
  
Judy gave her a scowl again.  
  
"No no, I'm not judging here! I'm just saying, this is _fascinating_! You cannot blame me for wanting to know _everything about this_. When else am I gonna get a chance to see behind the curtain? You're gonna be a mom in like, two months!"  
  
Judy slouched back bumping against the headboard.  
  
_Sweet cheese and crackers,_ she thought. _I'm going to be a **mom**..._  
  
"Okay, okay fine," Judy said holding up three fingers to the camera. "You get _three_ questions. I'm not staying up all night going over the details of my love life with you. I need to go check on my partner at some point, and find dinner."  
  
"Three?!?" Lilly whined.  
  
"Three," Judy said firmly. She felt like it should have been a moment of victory. Lilly's sullen appearance lasted only a second as her mind began to work away in silence. A twisting feeling of unease began to form in the pit of Judy's stomach. _Oh goodness, what have you agreed to this time?!_ The feeling spiked as Lilly looked up at her with a suddenly much more serious expression.  
  
"How long have you two been, you know, sleeping together?"  
  
_Oh, well that's mild enough,_ Judy thought has the tense feeling edged away slightly. _Okay, we can handle this._  
  
"A couple of years now."  
  
" _Years_?!" Lilly replied, her eyes bulging out. "Judy! You've been in Zootopia for 'a couple years."  
  
"So? And besides, I met Nick on my first day _here_. I've known him since I left home!"  
  
"Okay... But that really doesn't answer the question-"  
  
"It's not like we have an anniversary or something," Judy lied. She knew exactly how much of a turning point that day had been for Nick in their relationship. Every year she found herself not really knowing exactly what to do. He always seemed content enough with a dinner, or some other token of remembrance. Judy could picture the horrific stream of 'Happy Knotting Day' cards if she ever dared to tell her siblings. She gave a slight shiver at the thought.  
  
"Right," Lilly replied, unconvinced. She looked down from the camera, as slight scratching noises came from the background.  
  
"Are you writing this _down_?!?" Judy blurted out.  
  
"Hush," said Lilly defensively. "It's my _private_ notebook anyway. Like I said, I don't get to ask these kinds of things very often."  
  
_This is going to get out of paw so very fast-_. Judy barely had time to finish the thought as the next question landed. Lilly read it off her unseen sheet of notes.  
  
"Does it hurt?"  
  
Judy coughed and sputtered, her laptop rocked back and forth on her lap.  
  
" **What?!** " Judy burst out.  
  
"What what? It's a fair question! Nick is like what, nearly a foot taller than you?" Lilly's face pinched slightly with concentration as she apparently looked through her personal notes. "And studies are kinda vague on anatomical sizes and adaptability. No one is doing any _real_ research in the areas of interspecies sexuality Judy. It's a blank field here!"  
  
Judy's paws returned to the base of her ears, pulling firmly as her mouth hung agape.  
  
_How is my sister **asking** these questions?!_  
  
"Lilly, you can't just ask-"  
  
"You told me I got three questions!" Lilly nearly shouted back. She held her pen sternly towards the screen.  
  
Judy clenched her teeth as she brought her paws down to cradle her face.  
  
"Can you, _really_ promise me this isn't going anywhere else? I'm not gonna find this quoted in some interview on the news, right?"  
  
"Do anonymous attributions in academic journals count?"  
  
Judy gave her a concerned glare.  
  
"Don't give me that, this is all unprecedented stuff! I could get published with enough of this," Lilly looked down at her paper. "Judy, everything that we are doing right now, is going to be big. I know you having kits is going to be a big deal in your life, but there is so more going on here.  
  
"All my poking around just leads to sketchy internet sites, most of which have _very_ bad information on them. Crossroads has a little more, but even they aren't really concerned with the behaviours of their patients as much as their health and genetics. Now, I'm not going to lie. This is all fascinating to learn about for me, but I'm asking you because I think I can do some good on all this."  
  
Lilly held up her simple paper notebook, shaking the papers at the camera.  
  
"These notes? This could lead to helping a lot mammals feel okay about themselves. They are my way to make the world a better place for... Everyone."  
  
They sat in silence for a few seconds. Lilly looking at Judy with slow panting breaths. Judy coughed again to clear the itching that still stubbornly clung to her throat.  
  
"Just... No names okay?" Judy asked.  
  
"I promise. No names."  
  
Judy leaned her head back. She couldn't bring herself to look directly at her sister as she talked.  
  
"It took a little while to get used to. The size works for us, but only just. We have to be slow, and _really_ careful. But when we are? No pain. Not at all. At worst things just get a little uncomfortable. Really the only issue comes at the end, when we kinda have to commit where things are gonna end up."  
  
"End up?" Lilly asked outside of her view. Judy stared firmly at her ceiling, it offered her a safe refuge from any judgment or comment.  
  
"The swelling. You have to commit if it's gonna end up in or out. No changing your mind after. _That_ is what would hurt. As long as we are careful, and take our time? It's really not an issue. It's like everyone else really, we got a sort of pattern going of how we do things, and it just sort of works for us."  
  
Judy waited, after a minute the scratching noises from the paper pad stopped and silence turned. She peered down carefully with one eye open. Her sister sat with a content smile, patiently waiting for her. Judy blew a huff out her nose as she settled back down to talk to her.  
  
"Okay, hit me with you're last one so I can _go_."  
  
"Okay, okay," Lilly said glancing down to read something once again. "Ah, okay. One more? Um. Okay, what do you do once it's all, over, and such."  
  
"Once Nick is finished?"  
  
Lilly nodded, her shoulder shifting to take notes.  
  
"Honestly, it isn't all that different than with some rabbits. We talk, be affectionate, cuddle for a bit. The only really difference is that we don't have a choice for a bit," Judy said with a awkward chuckle. "He is nice. He gets that I am not really built for it? Or that I am not wired in to take it all in, the same way he is? Nick has been so patient with me through all this."  
  
Judy tilted her head back around the laptop to look down the hall.  
  
"I just... I really hope I am not asking too much from him now. He had to take tiny little steps for me. Everything was... I could see it in his eyes Lilly. He's worried all the time now. It's rare that he opens up to share it, but the worry is _always there_."  
  
"Okay, okay lover bun. I get it, you wanna go talk to him," Lilly said as something began beeping in her background. "Sounds like it's time for me to to play mad scientist anyway. Text me tomorrow, okay?"  
  
"Okay. Thanks for the talk Lilly. Night!"  
  
"Later!"  
  
Judy closed her laptop with a loud tap, finally happy to have freed herself from her sisters awkward questioning. She walked carefully down the hall, and out to the back yard. The light was still on in the shed. She openly it slowly, and carefully.  
  
Nick sat in the middle of the floor, watching a small piece of paper burn away. His ears reflexively twitched at the noise of the door, but his eyes and face stayed locked onto a small photo as it turned to ash. Judy stepped forward, placing a paw on his shoulder. After a moment he allowed his weight to shift, leaning back against her legs as his face turned up to hers.  
  
"Hey Slick. Finally burning that photo for the devil?"  
  
Nick snorted.  
  
"You bury it, not burn it," he said. "And no."  
  
His face fell back down to watch the last bit of flame die out, allowing a sudden rush of smoke to rise out of the small spread of ash on the table. It twisted and whipped as his breath blew around it.  
  
_I only hope you burn like the photo,_ Nick thought to himself. _You don't deserve anything more, you son of a bitch._  
  
"So how you feeling?" Judy asked as she began to knead the muscles around his neck.  
  
"I'm good," Nick lied. "Just needed to get some stuff out of my system. Couldn't find anything on TV?"  
  
"Naw, my sister kept pestering me so we chatted for a bit."  
  
"Ah. She tell you all the horrible things that could go wrong?"  
  
"I wish!" Judy said with a chuckle. "No, just girl talk."  
  
"Ah."  
  
"So, do I get food before bed or do you plan to just starve your partner out?" Judy said as she leaned in to nuzzle her face against his neck. Nick smiled as he pressed the side of his head to hers.  
  
"I think we could do some takeout."  
  
"Ohh!" Judy exclaimed as she hugged and released him. "I love your fries!"  
  
"'Borrowed food is best'," Nick said sarcastically. They stood up, Judy ran to get her keys.  
  
Nick paused, looking back down at the pile of ashes. The memories of his childhood crept back from the distraction of Judy. The fleeting moments of pain and loss. The last day he ever saw him.  
  
_I'm never going to be like you,_ he promised to the empty room. _I'm going to be a better fox than ever were_.  
  
A sharp yank on the chain cord plunged the room into darkness. Nick turned, and walked back to the house to join his partner.  
  



	5. Chapter 5

  
  
  
A tall giraffe pushed aside the decorative curtains above the table. Carefully she reached down and deposited her tray of drinks to the two waiting foxes. Nick smiled broadly, and thanked her. Finnick continued to watch someone from across the bar.  
  
"You gonna keep staring at the menu, or go ask her out?" Nick asked. He glanced over his shoulder, looking out over the bar behind him.  
  
Their small shrouded booth provided a reasonable amount of privacy. The entire outside wall of the room was setup for small parties to talk, and enjoy the atmosphere without being disturbed. A live jazz band played from the corner of the room, the gentle tune piped in from an array of speakers overhead. The bar was a callback to an older life for Nick. There had been a time when his deals were made across the very same table he found himself at.  
  
Now, Nick had brought himself here for the company. Finnick had been egging him on to go do something for days. A quick trip into a bar seemed harmless enough.  
  
Nick spotted the fennec fox laughing amongst a group of vixens, standing on top of a stool across the bar. The ring of foxes formed a sort of barrier from the patrons around them, allowing them to steal glances from their makeshift fortress.  
  
"I could go her attention for you?" Nick offered turning back to rest on his elbows. "Who knows, maybe she's into vixens? I could just point out this table and tell her there is a big pus-"  
  
"Finish that, and I'll rip yo face off. Slowly," Finnick said with a slight growl to his words. "I ain't here for her kinda company anyway."  
  
Nick tilted his head, his ears perking up slightly.  
  
"What?" Finnick asked. His paw flicked up off the table with his retort. "I can chase tail all week. Your ass? That's harder to find."  
  
His face didn't turn away from the vixen across the bar as he spoke. Nick smiled at his friend. It had been too long since they had gotten a chance to just relax away from the world.  
  
"How's work been?" Nick asked. It was an empty question. He knew very well that Finnick had gotten himself in with one of the mob families in town. He didn't ask which one, feeling it was better of just not knowing.  
  
"Clean," said Finnick in a flat tone. He finally looked up from the vixens, his eyes shielding no hidden truths to his friend. Nick knew better than to question the statement. Finnick would either tell him the truth, or shield him from things he really didn't need to know.   
  
The mob families had been tightening their acts as much as they did their belts in the last few years. Zootopia was still coming off it's last economic high. Crime simply wasn't as good a gig when the rest of the city was happy. Most of them were leaning heavily on their more legitimate fronts. Nick silently hoped that Finnick had found himself on the clean end of the shift.  
  
"Good to hear," Nick said.  
  
"Hows yo fuck bunny?" Finnick deadpanned. He smiled the moment Nick's nose twitched.  
  
" _Judy_ is doing well, asshole."  
  
"Well eh? What, she make you sleep in the shed?"  
  
"Huh?" Nick asked. "I told you we were doing well."  
  
"Oh, yo mouth said that, sure. Yo mouth's been talking shit since I met it," Finnick leaned away, pressing his back into the cushy material of the circular seating. "Why you really here Nick?"  
  
Nick looked down at the table, grabbing his drink and idly swirling it's icy contents.  
  
"Judy asked me for something."  
  
"Ask you for somethin? Nick, she already gots you by the jollies, what could that bunny possibly ask you-"  
  
"She wants kits." Nick said flatly. "Judy told me she wants kits."  
  
Nick held back a grin, it was a rare day for him to catch Finnick speechless. The smaller fox had always been the more quiet spoken of the duo. From a young age the fox had learned how quickly his mouth would get him into trouble. Having Nick around to smooth things out had been just the asset he needed. Still, he rarely held himself back in private. Finnick had no filter when they weren't on a con.  
  
"Yup," Nick said with a pop, breaking the awkward silence.  
  
"Nick... You know with you two, that ain't possible," Finnick said, giving him an odd worried look.  
  
Nick looked up and out of their small vestibule. He took a moment to soak in the sea of mammals that moved and churned through the space.  
  
"Judy found some doctors. They think they can... Make it work."  
  
"You gonna go get yourself some test-tube half-breeds?"  
  
Nick glared at him. Getting angry at the small fox would just amuse him, and Nick knew it. He pressed the feeling to the back of his mind.  
  
"Not... Half... No," Nick partially sputtered out. He shook his head to catch himself and explain. "No, they would be rabbits, just kinda a bit of _me_ mixed in."  
  
Finnick's eyes narrowed, waiting for a punchline that didn't come.  
  
"Shit man, thats wack," Finnick said. "You gonna do it?"  
  
 _Yes_ was the first thought that came to Nick's mind. Without a moment of hesitation, the word pounded into his throat with purpose and drive. There wasn't a thing on the planet Nick wouldn't walk away from if Judy asked him to, yet this situation felt different to him. This wasn't her asking for him to walk away from the life that they had, it wasn't even her asking him to follow her into the proverbial 'building on fire'.  
  
 _She is asking you to be him_ he thought to himself.  
  
"Wo Nick, it's just a question," Finnick said, leaning away from the table.  
  
Nick caught himself, wiping the angry grimace off his face. He didn't realize the scowl had been building itself up so quickly.  
  
"No, sorry. It's not that." Nick said as his eyes searched the table for nothing in particular.  
  
"It's your pop, aint it?"  
  
Nick looked away in silence. It was all the answer Finnick needed. His tone relaxed, all humor gone from his voice as he spoke.  
  
"Nick, you aint him. You _know_ you aint him."  
  
"Not yet I'm not," Nick replied. His ears perked at a small outburst from the far end of the room, as a group of mammals cheer in some small celebration. His eyes locked onto them, using the distraction to collect his thoughts. "Fuck it all Finnick, things were so _good_. I found myself someone, and a decent job. We even have the house, all we needed was the white picket fence and we would have the whole set," Nick turned back to Finnick with a lost, almost desperate look. "And now she walks up and ask for this? Asks for me to be.... To be..."  
  
"Him?"  
  
"Yeah," Nick said, sitting back to allow himself to relax. The idea was like a cheap punch to his jaw. "I can't say no to her, but this? I thought I was free of this whole choice. It was all gone and behind me."  
  
"Tell her no," Finnick said simply.  
  
"I can't do that," Nick said, his held up in mock defeat. "I know Judy, once she has an idea? I can't stop her. You should have seen the look in her eyes when we met the doctors. They took us up in this big office building, right in the middle of downtown. Gave us the whole show. Judy got that damned spark in her eye again. I just don't know if I can..."  
  
"Ha!" Finnick burst out into the silence left between them. His head rolled back with the jeer. "This is what you get, shacking in with a 'bun-bun'."  
  
"Gods Finnick, why don't I come talk to you more often?" Nick deadpanned. "You're a pocket sized bundle of helpful, friendly advice."  
  
"That's why the bitches love me," Finnick stated proudly as he finished off his drink.  
  
"Oh really?" Nick said with a grin. He slid himself off the circled benched seat and looked out across the crowd to find the vixen. "So where did that vixen you were eyeing go? Seeing as how she is going to love you..."  
  
"Nick!" Finnick called from behind him.  
  
 _Oh, you had this one coming smart ass. Now where did she go..._  
  
Nick wandered into the crowd, seeking his petty revenge. It was a welcome distraction. Nick knew where the conversation was leading. It was a dark road he had no intention of walking with Finnick again. The vixen would server as an effective decoy, an escape from the pain.  
  


* * *

  
  
"He has just been so _quiet_ since it all happened," Judy said to the empty room. Her phone sat tucked away in her pocket, two ear buds reaching up to her tall ears, freeing her paws during the call. She wandered back and forth aimlessly in the house as she talked to her councilor.  
  
"You need to understand Judy," Cassia said back to her. "Nick has only had a few days to process this idea, you've had over a month to come to grips with this. If we are being honest with ourselves, you've probably been considering this idea for for a very long time. It wasn't always at the forefront of your mind, but something was there."  
  
"I suppose..." Judy said in a worried tone.  
  
"Just keep up what you're doing. Give Nick time, support him when he comes to you. _Try_ not to smack him again?"  
  
"No my best moment huh?" Judy said flatly.  
  
"We all make mistakes. Your partner doesn't seem all that hurt from _that_. But, tell me Judy, hat are _you_ worried about?"  
  
"Me? I mean, how Nick has been acting. But we already talked about that..."  
  
"And?"  
  
Judy stopped, and looked out over their living room. She found herself at the top of the short staircase that joined the slightly offset floors. Carefully she sat herself down on the top step.  
  
"I'm afraid I'm about to miss something."  
  
"What do you think you are going to miss Judy?" Cassia asked.  
  
"I don't know, having kits I guess? I keep having this feeling that I'm about to get a call from the lab, telling me that Nick and I are incompatible. I'm afraid we've made a mistake, or something is going to come back wrong, or... I don't know. This all a bunch of unknowns right now. Is it wrong to be so afraid of this opportunity passing me by?"  
  
"What do _you_ think it would mean if this passed by?" Cassia asked with a knowing tone. Judy could feel what she was doing. Cassia wasn't there to give her answers she couldn't give, she was there to watch her patient.  
  
"I... I think we would be okay. I think it would be hard, but we would work to make things work for us?"  
  
"Is that a question or any answer Judy?"  
  
Judy stopped, clenching her paws and lowering her brow at the empty room. She puffed out a breath at the question. It was fair, but not something she expected to have to answer. She drew on her resolve to answer.  
  
"We would be okay. Nick and I would make it work."  
  
"And why do you think that?"  
  
"I love him. I can't imagine either of us walking away from our relationship, not at this point. It's not all perfect, we keep making mistakes, but we've always managed to catch each other. I... I _know_ everything would be okay, I just want to _feel_ that way. He's always been there when I needed him most..."  
  
 _It's not like he really has the option to leave_ , Judy thought to herself. The idea twisted in her gut. It felt wrong and manipulative to even think it. _You would never use that to for him to do anything, you are better than that...?_  
  
There was a pause over the phone as Cassia waited to hear her share anything else.  
  
"Okay Judy. That's good that you see that. Keeping yourself within a support group is _important_. You already know you can call me when you need it, but your friends and family are going to be a foundation for you as well. So let's talk about that for a moment.  
  
"You know you have Nick. You feel safe, you feel secure. That's _good_. We want to see groups of mammals that you know you can trust. Who else can you trust Judy?"  
  
"Well, my co workers. Clawhauser has always been there for me when I needed him. The rest of the officers would drop anything in a heartbeat if I wasn't physically safe too."  
  
"Tell me about your relationship with your boss. Chief Bogo was it?"  
  
"Eh, that's... That one is a bit harder to... Harder to explain," Judy replied as she leaned forward onto her knees. "Chief has our backs. There isn't an officer on the force who doubts _that_."  
  
"But...?"  
  
"Chief isn't the kind of mammal you go to when you need a hug. He is our boss, not our mother. He expects the best from his officers. There isn't room for anything less. Chief keeps his distance from everyone so that he can do his job, just like we keep our distance from him so we can do ours."  
  
"Then do you feel that asking for maternity leave is going to be an issue?" Cassia asked.  
  
"No. He doesn't always play by the book, but I've never seen anyone punished for medical issues. I mean, I expect him to threaten a year of parking duty on me, but that's more to keep me off the beat and safe, than to attack me. Wow, that's gonna be an awkward conversation thought..."  
  
"Begin assigned parking duty?"  
  
"No, not that. Once I tell him I'm expecting? At some point he is going to find out Nick is the father. And I assume Nick will wanna take paternity leave as well... Okay, that's another thing I need to talk to Nick about."  
  
"One thing at a time Judy," Cassia said in her calm, clinical voice. "You've got a lot on your plate right now, so take a breath. Good, we are going to tackle one thing at a time."  
  
"Right... One thing at a time..."  
  
"Now, there _is_ a support group we haven't talked about yet."  
  
Judy looked up to the slowly circling ceiling fan. She blinked at it with a blank expression as she tried to think who Cassia could mean.  
  
"Family Judy, we haven't talked about your family."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Oh?" Cassia asked.  
  
"Well, about them..." Judy started, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes. "They aren't exactly up to speed with how close Nick and I have become."  
  
"Not up to speed?"  
  
"Yeah. They know we live together, but it's kind of a 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' situation with them right now. A few of my siblings know, we still talk enough for them to catch on. Mom and dad are... Okay with it? I think? But this... Oh gods. I'm not sure they realize just what Nick and I _are_. This is going to be a train wreck when they find out. Mom's going to talk my ears off for this, and dad? Oh he is not going to drop this for _years_. His daughter, having kits with a fox?"  
  
"But you want them to know?"  
  
"Of _course_ I want them to know... I just don't know how I'm going to tell them without getting Nick shot."  
  
"Do it in person," Cassia said with firm tone. "If you really are worried about their reaction, do it face to face. These kinds of conversations, where family is this set in their ways, are very hard. Body language plays a huge roll in letting them know how _you_ feel. You just aren't going to get all that over a video call."  
  
Judy let out a long breath.  
  
"We have days off together coming up. We could make it out to the burrow for a short weekend."  
  
"Book the tickets Judy. Trust me that you will feel better having done this the right way."  
  
Judy leaned to her side, and against the wooden support of the railing. A thousand nagging worries flowed into her head. Getting Nick to even visit them would be a bit of a challenge, but she knew he would come around. The trick would be facing them together. Nick seem so unsure of everything. His words spoke of confidence, but not his actions.  
  
 _We can do it together,_ Judy assured herself. _Nick is always there. No matter what he will be by my side, and we will do what we need to._  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the sudden break in posting cadence. Life happens I guess. Either way, here is t he first of a double post tonight!


	6. Chapter 6

 

Judy laid chest down, hanging off the edge of their bed. Her ears rested against the soft material of her night shirt. She flipped through the pages of a large flat book, lying on the floor below her. 'Big Bellied Bunny Biographies' marked the third self-help book she had bought over the last week. It held a collection of short stories, allegedly collected from real rabbits, about their pregnancies.

She'd gotten them under the guise of wanting to know more. It wasn't a total lie, she had gleaned many facts from the books. Judy couldn't help but feel she could have just asked one of the numerous mothers in her immediate family. It still made her feel more prepared, and the books kept her mind off of Nick's behavior.

He sat leaning against the head of the bed, with a thin gray laptop perched on his knees. Nick worked away at their budget for the next year. Long silences were punctuated with rapid bursts of typing. 

Judy's current chapter consisted of nothing but shopping receipts and bills. There were no words, no story to piece them together. The scanned documents told their story with a narrative all their own.

The first page had been from a drug store. A single pregnancy test. Beside it, another receipt from the same store. Two pregnancy tests were bought less than an hour later, along with half a dozen cards and envelopes. Judy relished in piecing together the events, weaving her own narrative as the pages turned by. The days and months told a shadowy story of what was to come. Vitamin supplements, doctors visits, party supplies, then everything exploded. Pages and pages of visits to stores to pick up kit formula, diapers, along with more than a few doctors bills.

Judy had shared it with Nick with glee. The story was heartwarming in a way, showing their lives with purity. There was no filter, just their raw experience through the foggy lens of their finances. Nick's response had been less joyous than she'd hoped. He retreated to the edge of the bed and churned away at their spreadsheets and bank accounts. She would hear mumblings from him now and then, murmurs of the process hidden behind the worried look on his face.

She let her bookmark slip between the pages and closed the book. Leaving it there, she twisted her body and rolled up and across the bed. It brought her chest to Nick's feet. Gently she reached out a paw and settled on one of his ankles. She gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Are our book's in order, Mr. Accountant?" She asked playfully.

Nick pecked away at the keyboard, not glancing around to face her.

"Maybe? We are probably going to need to cut back on a few things. Fewer nights out, no more movies every other weekend. Probably gonna drop a few restaurants from our list too."

She gave his ankle a quick and firm set of squeezes. She waited silently for him to stop typing, his head lifting ever so slightly to peer over the screen.

"What about you?" Judy asked.

"Oh, nights out at the bars are gone. Finnick is too much of a mooch anyway. _Maybe_ we can sneak in a day a month with the station boys, but-"

"That's not what I am asking Nick," Judy said more firmly. She could see the pain come to Nick's eyes for an instant before he hid it away again. There was more there, and for the life of her she couldn't figure out what it was.

He shut the lid to the laptop, allowing his paws to rest of the smooth surface.

"I'm good Judy. It's just a lot of changes that need to happen _fast_. If it wasn't for Crossroads picking up the medical-"

"Nick," Judy said. She took a breath, allowing her voice and posture to soften. "Stop thinking about this like it's a job. I'm not asking if we _can_ do this. I know we can make it work. I need to know if you're on board with this."

Nick's ears twitched as his head tilted slightly to the side.

"We talked about this at the office Judy. If you're in, then I'm in."

"But you're not," Judy responded in a warm tone. She held her words, keeping careful control of her expression as the moment waited between them. Carefully she walked the line between judgment, and what she knew needed to be said. "I know you say you are, and you keep reminding me every time I ask you. But you're not. I can see it, Nick, it sneaks out whenever I catch you thinking about it."

His paws flexed slightly, moving to the edge of the laptop to grip it.

"Judy Hopps. I am _not_ lying to you. When I told you I'm in? I'm in. All the way to the end. We both want kits, and we are going to make it happen."

Judy frowned up at him, allowing her head to fall to the surface of the bed.

"Then what aren't you telling me? If it's not about having kits, then _what_? You keep giving me these signals that there is some unspeakable horror floating around in your head, but then you don't share it."

"I can handle it," Nick said after a pause.

"Did I say you couldn't?"

"Well, no but-"

"Then don't feed me that 'All the way to the end' line if you think you're gonna make pit stops along the way without me Nick. We are either in this together, or we aren't pulling the trigger. I _cannot do this_ if I know you are trying to shoulder more than your fair share of our burden. This all started when you found out I wanted kits, so what is going _on_ here?! If it isn't having them, then what is wrong with us?"

Nick's face tingled as she asked the question. The room felt suddenly warm and clammy. He clenched his jaw, bringing the laptop to his chest to grip it tightly.

"It's not about _us_ Judy. It's about me."

Nick looked up past Judy's face to the vague blurry background of their bedroom. Her nose twitched away at the edge of his vision, as excuses and distractions bombarded his mind. Instinct cried out at him to hide away behind the veil of deception. His tongue felt dry as he pushed past the feelings to speak.

"This is about what I will become."

Judy's face twisted in frustration as Nick tilted his head slowly back to look at her. Her eyes narrowed with renewed annoyance.

"You know, I did some research," she started. "Into fox parents and such? It's kinda harder to find stories about the fathers, but they are there if you hunt for them. Not once did I see anything about them eating their young, or turning into horribly unspeakable monsters, or anything like that."

"Did they talk about them leaving?"

The frustration left Judy's face instantly, leaving her staring at him blankly. Her nose twitched away as her eyes searched Nick's for meaning. He stared back down at her, holding his own gaze against the feeling to run and hide.

_He never talks about his dad_ , Judy thought. _I just assumed it was because he passed away when Nick was younger..._

Twisting up, Judy brought a leg up and over to straddle herself on Nick's lap. It forced her straight into his personal space. His eyes hurt with fear, she could feel slight tremors work their way through him.

"Nick... I'm... I never..." Judy's paws came to his snout, gently rubbing with the grain of the fur. Her words were lost, unable to express what she needed to.

"Because I don't talk about it anymore. It's in the past, behind me now."

Nick's body relaxed as he spoke, his composure returning to him.

Judy leaned forward, pushing her legs up slightly to cover the difference in their height. She brought her forehead to his, pressing firmly against it. Nick's arms awkwardly clung to the laptop still pressed to his chest. She pulled away to speak. 

"Nick, we can't walk from our past like that. It's who we are. It's who _you_ are," Judy said. She brought her lips up to plant a kiss where she had pressed into him and leaned back to look him in the eyes. "I'm... Sorry, I never asked about... Well, whatever this is."

Nick gave her a careful slow nod, his arms and shoulders shifting uncomfortably

"Is that why you were burning that picture the other night?" Judy asked, trying to piece together the puzzle that she found finally see.

"Yeah," Nick nodded. "It was the last photo the family took together."

"If this is too much to-"

"No. No, You're right. This all is going to fail if we aren't honest. I..." Nick let the laptop fall to his side, and brought his paws up to grip Judy's. He pulled gently at her to pull her forward and up to him, forcing himself to look directly at her as he spoke.

"Judy, I don't _talk_ about him because I don't want to _remember_ him. John has been out of my life since I was twelve. It feels like a bad movie in my head, Like some someone else's memory. Avoiding it makes it easy to push out and ignore."

Nick's head fell back against the headboard, his eyes wandering aimlessly along the features of the ceiling. 

"We are products of our parents," Nick whispered.

"What?"

"We are the products of our parents Judy," Nick spoke up and brought his face down to look at her again. "We are the product of their virtues and vices. I see little bits of mom all the time. Every time I walk out on those streets with a shield on my chest, I can feel mom's hand on... I can feel her with me. Every time I speak out for someone who cannot stand on their own, it's her breath on my lips."

Judy's sharp attention cracked with a warm smile at his words. Her face brightened from the warmth that radiated from the memory. Nick's eyes slipped with concern, his face tightening ever so slightly.

_Yeah, that's not all I got from her,_ he thought. _Learned to walk away from someone when they need me most too._

"But at the same time, John is there," Nick spoke softly. "I feel... The anger he used to have, that rage that bubbles up when I need it. When we are running down someone twice our size, it's _his_ blood that fuels me. It's his drive that won't allow my body to give in. I keep asking, how long? How long before that slips out when I don't _need_ it. How long before he shows when I need a cooler head to think straight. How long before I bring that _home_.

"We are the products of our parents," Nick finished with a long breath.

Judy's paws squeezed into his, her tiny claws pushing into the pads. He could feel the slight tremble in her arms, the ever present emotional turbulence within her.

"Nick... I'm sorry, I-I don't really..."

"Oh, don't sweat it Carrots," Nick interrupted dismissively. "It's not like you got a history book on me when we paired up. This is more of a distant memory than a present danger."

"Yeah, maybe. But still, I don't want to feel like you are anyone but _yourself_. You've always been the kind gentle fox I've wanted in my life."

Judy took a slow breath, posturing herself for the question on the tip of her tongue. Her eyes tightened with the force of the question.

"Nick, I keep asking you if you want kits. I get that you are good to go. But, it was never the right question, was it? Do you want to be a father?"

"Ha," Nick let out a nervous chuckle. "Is there really a difference?"

Her mouth twisted to the side in a nervous grin.

"To you? _Clearly_. Nick, you need to get this through your thick skull. If you say no, _we both say no_. Together. I'm not going to attack you or leave you if you don't want this." She twisted back to look down to the edge of the bed. "Those books all tell the same stories, Nick. Being a parent is hard. I'm not going to drag you down into that if you aren't totally ready for it. So I when I ask you this, I really mean it."

She turned to face him again, paws still intertwined with his.

"Do you want to be a father?"

Judy could feel the answer in his subtle movements. Nick squirmed beneath her, his paws relaxing their grip slightly. His mouth worked silently for a moment, his head shaking slowly back and forth.

"I... Don't know," Nick said with a ragged breath. "I just... I don't know."

Judy let go of his paws and allowed her weight to carry her forward. His legs spread slowly, cradling her fall into his chest. She buried her face into the side of his neck, wrapped her arms around him and squeezed as best she could.

"Thank you, Nick," Judy whispered softly into the soft fur on the side of his neck.

"Thank?" Nick questioned as his paws came up to rest nervously on her back. The pads of his fingers pressed in the light fabric of her nightshirt, offering what reassures he could. His jaw clenched tightly as she spoke.

"You're being honest with me," Judy said, rolling her head along his shoulder to look up at him. "It's all I need from you right now, I need you to be honest with me. I'm sorry you feel this way. I know you think you just have some monster hiding inside there somewhere. Honestly, you know yourself better than anyone, and maybe to do, but I'm not afraid to face it with you if it's in there. I can't really explain why, but I am sure you wouldn't be _anything_ but a wonderful father. We can figure this all out. We can talk, or wait, or not do this. Whatever it takes. I... I just need you to be _honest_ with me. Think you can give me that Slick?"

Nick looked down at her to see the sincerity in her face. His paws gripped into her shirt, his chest twisting at the pain her words unleashed at him.

_I can't... What they both did, what I did. What happened to Symphony. No, if you knew it all it would ruin both of us. But at least, maybe..._

"I can try..." Nick said after a pause. "I cannot promise you what I cannot give, but I promise I can try."

Judy pressed herself back into him, nuzzling into the warm fur exposed near his neck. They laid together as their chests calmed, and hearts began to relax from the conversation. Nick worked gently across Judy's back, slowly finding the small knots of muscle that had found their way in. He massaged them firmly, moving slowly from bunch to bunch.

"You know," Judy said softly. "We don't need to go to the burrow tomorrow. I'd stay here and work on this if you want."

"When is the next set of days you are sure we can go see your family?" Nick asked as his eyebrows peeked up with the question. He shook his head. "We are gonna need all the PTO we can get if this happens. Don't waste a free set of days on my worries."

"Well, promise we will keep talking about this?" Judy asked in a tired voice. Her face nuzzled against him as the calm evening and gentle touches lulled her to sleep.

"I promise," Nick replied. His He wondered if it really was a lie.

* * *

_I am so royally, and thoroughly fucked_ Nick thought to himself as their train started with a lurch, pulling out and away from central station. It arced up with the tracks, beginning its gentle sweeping trip out through the city. Judy stood in the same place she always did, right at the front of the glass of the large dome over their heads.

The nightly express train didn't stop at any of the cities stations, racing through them without pause. One by one they passed through the districts as they looped out along the massive spiraling route through the city. They blasted out from the outer limits of the city and over the bay. The water and city tool on a soft red tone as the sun sat behind the towering buildings of the city. The train hummed happily as it picked up more and more speed for the trip.

Judy walked back to take a seat next to him as the scenery flashed by the windows. Plopping into the firm seat, she took her phone out.

"Oh, Lilly said the lab has some goods news." She said as she scrolled through a massive text.

"What is it?" Nick asked as he watched the blur of green and brown rush past him.

"I'm... Okay, I'm not sure. She said they had some good news... And that's the last time she uses a word that's less than twenty characters long. Oh, wait. She said something in English again! 'Phase one was all green, results look very promising'? What does that mean?"

"She is talking about the sequencing they needed to do," Nick explained. "They needed to make sure they could read everything that they collected first, so now that they can do that, they are moving on to see if they can stitch any of it back together now."

"Look at you Slick, becoming the genetics expert on me!" Judy said, giving him a friendly bump her her elbow.

"Ha, hardly. I couldn't understand that packet they gave us so I emailed your sister."

"Still, you're learning."

"I emailed her back three times, each time asking her to dumb it down _a lot_ more..." Nick said with an exasperated look.

Judy chuckled at his confession. Looking down at the incomprehensible mass of words she had received, there was little doubt in her mind that Nick was telling the truth. She made a mental note to call her sister and ask her what any of them meant.

"So Leora is gonna be home tomorrow."

Nick flopped his head down at her.

"You say that name like it means something important to me, which then tells me I forgot something, which in turn causes me stress," Nick said sarcastically.

"She's my sister, twice-down. Same litter as Lilly."

Nick gave her an inquisitive look.

"And this means...?"

"Leora is the new mother of the week," Judy said cheerfully. "Her kits are finally big enough for them to travel easily. We get to meet the newest nieces and nephews!"

"And we are... Not making jokes about eating them?" Nick asked with a smile.

Judy smiled back, putting her paws up in the air.

"You do that Officer Wilde, and your backup is officially 10-7 for the rest of this trip. Even I can't save you from my families wrath if you summon it like that."

They smiled at each other as the train rushed through a short tunnel. The world went black and came back to the dull yellow tones of the grasslands. Judy reached into her backpack to pull our her book and continue where she had left off.

"So how are you feeling about the question?" Judy asked as she sat looking down at the open page.

"What question?"

"The F-word... Wait no, that won't work. Everyone is going to think it's way worse if I say that. The D-word? Yeah, the D-word question."

"You wanna talk about the D, hmm?" Nick said with a broad grin.

Judy's eyebrows furrowed in frustration.

" _Do_ I want to throw you out in front of a moving train? Perhaps. Would be a shame to inconvenience all these nice mammals, though, I hear fox stains are tough to get out." Judy said.

"You _would_ know just how hard they are to get out," Nick responded immediately.

Judy slumped her shoulders in defeat. Her ears drooped as she turned up to him.

"Okay, okay. You win... But seriously. How are you feeling about it?"

Nick looked out across the otherwise empty observation car.

"I'm nervous. I still don't know if I can do this, and your family? I somehow doubt I'm gonna find a lot of supportive mammals there. It's like I'm walking into a war zone or something."

"You talk like you are walking in there alone," Judy said, reaching up to place a paw on his arm.

"It..." Nick's voice trailed off.

"It feels that way to you, doesn't it?" Judy asked. Nick's whisper of a sigh answered her. "I've not talked to my parents yet, they don't know. We don't need to talk to them about anything if we don't want to. This can just be a quick visit to see the family."

"No," Nick said back firmly. He paused to calm his voice, try to reassure her that he meant what he was saying. "No, we are here with a purpose. We need to do that."

"Okay, how about a compromise then. We have two full days off out here. We tell them together, but we wait until the last day. It will give us time tomorrow to relax with the family, and then we can tell them the morning after that. If things hit the fan, we just take an earlier train back home."

Nick's ear twitched slightly at the suggestion. It never ceased to amaze him how fast she could come up with a backup plan. The days of teaching the naive cute bunny were well behind him. He wondered how long it would be before he had to keep up with her. 

"Have I told you how much I love you today?" Nick asked quietly.

"You told me that just by setting foot on this train hun."

Judy gave his arm another squeeze and then turned back to her book. She struggled to keep her mind in the story, constantly finding her attention dragged back into the world around her. For the rest of the trip, Nick stared out across the car with a hard blank look.

_Give him space_ Judy thought to herself. _Give him what he needs to brace for this._

* * *

It was dark by the time they arrived at the station in Bunnyburrow. The cool dry air of the planes swept across the station as they exited the train. They were the only two to depart, walking off onto the otherwise empty platform. The train gave a hiss as it's brakes released and it continued onward across the countryside.

"Nice welcome party," Nick said.

"It's a bit late, and the harvest seasons is kicking in. Most of the family is probably sleeping by now."

"So... Are we walking?" Nick asked glancing down at their shared suitcase.

Judy pointed out to the horizon A twin set of lights lazily bumped and swerved against the black background towards them.

"Nope. W-I've got a big family, there is always _someone_ up," Judy said, almost catching herself calling them Nick's in-laws. The custom never seemed to peak Nick's interest.

"Good," Nick said with a yawn. "Whoever decided that work should start before sunrise was a sick and twisted mammal. Your mom's guest rooms are going to be my death bed."

"Eh?" Judy looked up from her phone.

"I'm going to find a bed, fall into it, and just... Die for a couple hours," Nick said with a morbid smile on his face. 

"Ah, I'll call the ambulance to resuscitate you for breakfast then," Judy said with a smile as she texted her mom with thew news of their safe arrival. She slipped her phone into her pocket. "Any last words Officer Wilde?"

Nick stood in silence, looking out from the pastel painted platform. His eyes followed the approaching vehicle with rapt attention. Slowly he rocked his weight back and forth.

_Oh, walls a back up,_ Judy thought to herself. _I can't say I blame him._

They watched the truck move slowly along the dirty country road, before meandering into the parking lot. It stopped with a lurch in a nearby spot and honked its horn at them. Nick picked up their small suitcase and followed Judy over. They held their paws up to shield their eyes from the cutting beams of the headlamps.

"Hey!" Judy said with a strong tinge of concern in her voice. "James, I didn't expect to see you out this late."

"Short straw," the light gray rabbit said from the driver's seat.

Judy hopped into the middle, allowing Nick to sit beside her.

"James, this is Nick. Nick, this is Jameson Hopps, he's my brother and littermate."

"Nice to see you again Judy," James sad flatly as he craned his neck to back out of his parking spot and drive away.

"Pleasure to meet you, James," Nick said, leaning forward to offer a friendly wave across the cramped truck. From the corner of his eye, he could see Judy's nervous expression as she stared straight forward. Her nose wiggled away, tensing as Nick spoke.

"Fox," James spoke with effort, the word coming out of his mouth with a prepared measure and tone.

_Wonderful,_ he thought. _The hit's start before I can even get my paw trough the front door._

Nick glanced down at Judy, giving her a questioning look. The strained worry on her face spoke to him loud and clear, 'shut up'. He gave her a curt nod and turned his attention out the window to the dark countryside. Sparse farmhouses dotted the area, little beacons of light in a sea of black.

They turned down a driveway and up to the Hopps' family burrow. A massive mound of earth jetted up from the rolling hillside. Its massive domed top was littered with small windows peeking out from the structure within. A large barn sat nearby, its flood light illuminating the entire area.

"They run those things all the time?" Nick asked, pointing a finger at the light as the truck lurched to a stop alongside a row of old beaten up trucks.

"What, the barn lights?" Judy clarified. "Yeah, they run on light sensors so the yard stays lit. Makes it easier to bring home equipment at night, and is sort of an old tradition now."

James left them, slamming the door of the truck and marching off towards the burrow.

"What's his problem?" Nick asked, as he got out of the truck and offered Judy a paw to grab as she hopped down.

Judy looked back and watched the sibling enter the house and close the door. She leaned her elbows over the edge of the truck bed and looked up at the night sky.

"James has always been a bit zealous," She said. "When I got scratched as a kit, he took it way harder than I ever did."

"From that fox?"

Judy nodded.

"That day was a turning point for me. Before then being a cop felt like a dream, this indefinable goal that was beyond what I could understand. Then that day happened. It was like a bolt of lighting, showing me exactly who I needed to become."

"And for James?" Nick asked after a pause.

"For him?" Judy said, her head slowly swelling across the field of stars above them. "It was a sign of what he needed to stand against. No one really saw it at the time, I mean there were so _many_ of us... But it broke something. He wasn't really the same after that. Start drinking the BBB juice _really_ hard, and we never saw him come back around."

"BBB?"

"Oh, it's this scouts thing they do out here," she said. Her head dropped down to look at the front door of the burrow with a tinge of shame. "'Bunnies for Better Burrows' it's called. Think of it as sort of a community watch, but for rabbits out here in the country."

The front door of the burrow opened up, James leaned out and gave a horse whisper across the empty yard.

"You coming or not Judy?"

"I don't even exist, do I?" Nick whispered sarcastically.

Nick grabbed their suitcase from the back of the truck, and the pair set off across the dirt driveway to the burrow.

"Stargazing tomorrow night?" Judy asked with a yawn.

"You don't have to ask me twice," Nick replied, with a sliver of joy sneaking into his voice. Zootopia's light pollution blotted out most of the night sky. Laying off in a field together had become a sort of ritual for them on the trips out to her family. Judy smiled up at him broadly as they neared the steps to the burrow.

_Maybe this won't be the worse weekend ever,_ she hoped.

They closed the door to the burrow behind them, leaving them standing in the small confines of the den. A set of couches, bean bags, and chairs filled the small space, along with rows upon rows of coat racks. Nick eyed the strange assortment of raincoats with wonder. The sheer size of Judy's family always gave him a sense of awe.

James waited for them to follow him into the main hall. A massive room, stretching several floors tall. The center of the room was taken up by the massive dining area, with the kitchen nestled against the far wall beyond it. Several sets of stairs led both up and down from the floor, leading to balconies above them, as well as into the tunnels that snaked below.

"Your room is all set up Judy. Fox is up in the guest hall, third door on the right," James said, pointing a thumb up to the first floor above them.

Judy turned to Nick, her eyes forming an instant apology. Nick returned her glance with a knowing smile. No matter what Judy's parents had intended for their sleeping arrangements, this rabbit seemed to be calling his own shots.

_One night won't kill me,_ Nick thought, looking up at the colorfully painted guest hallway. He set the suitcase down in front of Judy and sat a paw on her shoulder for a brief moment. Her eyes held their apology as he turned to leave the siblings and find his room.

Nick had visited enough to be familiar with the guest rooms. Sometimes Judy's room would be set aside for them. He walked up the odd, short stairs that clung to the outer wall of the room and up to the first balcony. Turning down the hall, he was surmised to find little welcome mats sitting outside many of the rooms further down the hall. Only two sat near the front, his and his neighbors.

_Can't blame them for keeping me aside I guess,_ Nick thought. _So why is someone still next to me?_

Nick entered his tiny room and found his bed stripped of its sheets. They sat neatly folded beside it, ready to be put on on short notice.

"Huh, didn't finish setting _everything_ up, did ya, James."

He set to work putting the sheets onto the bed. His mind wandered back to his previous visits, wondering why he never caught wind of James before. Sure, the Hopps were always a little anxious around him, but James was a whole new level of hate. His ears bolted up as his phone loudly chimed out from his pocket, still turned to it's highest volume from the train ride. His paws frankly grabbed it and muted it to vibrate.

Judy - 'Sorry about James'

Nick smiled at the text. Judy worried a bit much about his well being at times, but it wasn't exactly unwelcome either.

'No worries fluff. Your brother just had an ax to grind, I'll live up here for a night. Sweet dreams'

Judy - 'u 2'

Nick set his alarm and placed his phone on the nightstand. Sitting back on the best, he allowed his paws to rest on his knees. He forced his eyes closed, allowing the strange set of residual patterns to dance in the darkness. Counting to ten, he took a long slow breath with each number.

_You can get through this Wilde,_ he told himself. _Just forty-eight hours, and you're on your way back home._

His eyes opened again.

_And... Somehow you need to let Judy know you aren't ready to be a..._

A sharp, high-pitched whaling of noise came through the wall behind him. They cut through his train of thought, throwing him into a sudden painful headache. His back clenched with the sudden jolt of noise. A set of kits in the adjacent room screamed into the night.

"Or," he said under the chorus of complaining infants. "We can catch up on some reading."

Settling on waiting for them to tire, or be comforted by their parents, Nick reached for his phone and laid back on the bed. He opened up one of the pregnancy books Judy had been harping on him to read and settled in for the light night ahead. The kits beside him seemed to take shifts as the hours slipped passed.

* * *

Nick jerked awake, not remembering having ever slipped into sleep in the first place. His gaze rocketed back and forth around the room, searching for something to explain what had woken him up so aggressively. He panted in sharp quick breaths as his heart pounded in his chest, but the room was silent. Nothing stood out to him, short of the odd silence.

_No. Crying. Kits._ Nick thought to himself as a wide smile formed on his face. His body twitched as a series of knocks came to the door again.

"Nick! Open the damned door already!"

Nick hopped off the bed, leaving it sheets still neatly tucked in from the restless hours of the night. He opened the door to an agitated Judy. She stood, leaning back with her foot angrily thumping at the floor. Her eyes quickly swept up and down Nicks tired frame. Her foot felt silent as her eyes softened.

"Mind if I come it?" She asked.

Nick stood aside and swept his arm up to beckon her into the room. Judy closed the behind her, stepping forward to embrace him.

"Nick... Did you... _Sleep at all_ last night?"

"I think your family arrived early. That or someone lost some kits next door?" Nick replied groggily, bringing his arms up to pull her close to him. "What time is it anyway?"

"Don't you have your phone?"

Nick took a step back from their hug to extract it from his pocket.

"Must have run out of charge sometime last night while I was reading, and seeing as how you took the suitcase to your room..."

"Right, no charger cable. Sorry. Is it kinda almost lunch? The family was asking if you were ever coming down."

"Well, not like I have anything else to do," Nick replied with a half-hearted smile.

Judy's paw reached for his and gave him a strong grip. She threw herself up and into him, nuzzling firmly into the base of his neck. His snout came down instantly to rub along the back of her head. Their short passionate moment ended as quickly as it had started as she let herself down and away from him.

By unspoken agreement, they knew to keep their affections away from the public eye while on the farm. Their relationship was tenuously accepted, and neither of them wanted to rock the boat. Just getting the parents to understand and accept Judy's choice would be hard enough without a title wave of drama to follow.

Their eyes locked with understanding looks. They gave firm forced smiles as they turned for the door, no longer touching one another. They turned out the hallway into the glorious chaos that was the main hall of the burrow. Kits screamed and ran in all directions, small clusters of siblings and families sat at the tables getting in an early lunch.

"Judy!" came a cry of voices from below them. A pair of brothers, just about her age, came bounding up the stairs. Nick tilted his head as they grabbed Judy in a collective hug and lifted her off her feet.

"Keith, Klyde! Glad you guys could make it."

"We heard you were back for a day or two, we couldn't miss out on that!" Keith said with enthusiasm. "So, this the fox keeping you on your toes in the big city?"

The two rabbits sat their sister down and turned to Nick. Trained and reflex brought him to an immediately relaxed position. His paws tensed, preparing to handle whatever might come at him. It happened without him even making the conscious choice to do so.

The two bucks seemed oblivious to the suddenly mounting tension. Judy's eye caught on quickly, seeing the slow moving train wreck before her.

"So," she said, calmly stepping around her brothers as she spoke. "Nick, this is Keith and Klyde. They are my brothers once down, and our star bunny ball players. Boys, this is Nick, my partner at down at the ZPD."

"Among other places," Klyde added, sticking his paw out for Nick to take. "Any friend if Judy's is a friend of ours. Pleasure to meet you, Nick."

It took Nick a moment to catch on to the friendly gesture. His body quickly released itself from the subtle posturing it had done, and he shook the rabbit's hand with gusto.

"Pleasures all mine," Nick said, his calm exterior shielding the anxiety from moments earlier.

"You as well Nick," Keith added. "Say, you two wouldn't wanna join us on a run tomorrow, would you?"

"That sounds nice, what do you say?" Judy asked Nick. "These two were my training buddies while I was ramping up for the academy."

"Ah, sounds like a plan then," Nick said.

The two rabbits bid them farewell and disappeared off into one of the many branching hallways. Judy stepped in close to Nick as they descended the stairs to find some food.

"Let's just forget to set our alarms tomorrow," she said quietly.

"Huh?" Nick replied.

"We didn't bring any of our running stuff, and those two don't know the words 'Quit', 'Give up' or 'Mercy'. Trust me, they _actually_ cut them out of their dictionaries. Mom and dad were _ticked_."

"This Judy Hopps throwing in the towel?"

"Ha, you wish. This is Judy Hopps with a survival instinct. Besides, we have enough on our plate. Those two will probably forget to find us anyway. Oooh, they are doing waffles still!"

Judy's nose twitched away as they neared the odd buffet table near the kitchen. Plates of ready to go meals were served forward as hungry rabbits came forward to take them to the tables strewn across the massive hall. The nearly five dozen rabbits in the room still made it feel sparsely populated.

They found themselves some food and sat down at an empty table.

"So, contemplating your escape yet?" Judy said cheerfully with a mouth full of food.

Nick's tired face peeked up from his plate of blueberry filled waffles.

"Depends, is there a quiet place I could to before the warden gets to me?"

"Naw, I heard the warden has a mean tranquilizer army anyway."

They ate peacefully, watching the sea of rabbits around them come and go as noon approached. More and more rabbits came it caked in dirt from the fields, a few in oil from working on the machines. Nick eyed James as he passed by them, he ignored the two completely.

Nick gave a start as a thin doe suddenly plopped into the seat beside him. She smiled up and placed a cup beside his plate.

"Morning Judy, and you must be the Mr. Wilde we keep hearing about?"

"I'm not sure we've met?" Nick asked with a bewildered look on his face.

"I'm Julianamaria, but most of the family just calls me Jules."

"She's my one and only litter-sister," Judy said between bites.

"Ah," Nick replied before turning his attention to the stark black liquid, steaming in the cup next to his plate. "And this is...?"

"High-grade motor oil, or coffee in a pinch," Jules said. "You looked like you were gonna fall over into your food, thought you could use some pick me up."

"Oh, that's sweet of you Jules," Judy said. "Be careful Nick, that stuff is a bit more _pure_ then what we get in the city."

Nick gingerly took the cup and sipped off the top. His face contorted as he blenched from the taste.

"Told you..." Judy smiled as she turned back to her sister.

"Heh, word got around about what James pulled on Nick last night," Jules said. "Figured some kick start couldn't hurt."

Judy didn't seem phased at all that news had traveled around so fast. Nick watched her face and didn't catch any hint of surprise. Looking out around the room, he caught a good portion of the rabbits typing away at their phones. More than a few ducked away from his gaze as he made eye contact with them.

"What _happened_ anyway? I thought Leora wasn't showing up with her kits until later today?" Judy asked.

Nick sat back with his cup, determined to make it through the foul tasting liquid. Even it seemed preferable to the fog of his exhaustion. It allowed him to back away from the two siblings as they talked. The distance somehow felt safer, like he could keep a better eye on what was going on.

"Yeah, something about her in-law's farm pushed them forward a day. But they should be here until sundown at least, you should be able to weasel your way in to see the kits."

Nick scanned the room carefully as he worked away at his drink. Most of the rabbits seemed to pay them no mind at all. A few parents guided their kits to tables further away from them. Even in the sea of mammals, Nick felt very alone. With a sigh, he drew his attentions back in.

_You knew how they were going to react_ , he thought to himself as he allowed a long hot surge of liquid to splash down his throat. _They all weren't there for the Night Howler Tragedy. They didn't get to feel the same sting as all the inner city rabbits. This isn't about me. They are just... Just seeing a fox._

" **Jude the Dude**!"

The cheerful billowing voice snapped him away from his thoughts. The trio at the table turned to see Stu and Bonnie Hopps walk in along the rows of tables. Stu clapped a paw down against Judy's shoulder.

"So nice to see you, Judy," Bonnie said as she came up and hugged her daughter from behind.

"Good morning Mr. and Mrs. Hopps," Nick offered, standing up from the table to offer a paw. The buck eyed his paw for a beat before taking it with his own.

"Mr. Wilde, glad you could make it out," Stu said politely.

"So," Judy said, turning in her chair to face her parents. "I hear you two are closing in on being Grand-Grands! How exciting!"

"We get more bundles of joy every month," Bonnie said with a warm smile. "Have you gotten to meet Leora's yet?"

"No, Jules was just telling us about her change of plans," Judy said. "We haven't gotten a chance to see them yet."

"Oh, well they just went up to change them," Stu said, looking up over his shoulder. "Give um a few minutes and you should be good to pay them a visit."

"Hey pop!" an unfamiliar voice called out from the crowd.

"Pardon me," Stu excused himself and vanished into the ever thickening sea of rabbits.

Bonnie eyed her daughter and gave Nick a quick worried glance.

"Judy, could I get you two for a moment?" Bonnie asked.

"Sure mom, just let us take care of the plates and we can meet you... um-"

"Let's head out to the garden, no one is out there at this time anyways," Bonnie said with a smile. Nick recognized his own trick in her look, a distraction to keep up appearances.

Jules said goodbye as she left to attend to some chore within the burrow. The trio passed by the kitchen to deposit the plates for the cleaners, forcing Nick to finish his potent drink.

_Next time I'm bringing my own motor oil_ he mused to himself as he let the cup splash into a water-filled bin.

They turned away from the noise and calmer of the room and out a small back hallway. It brought them to a small raised plot of land, with a carefully trimmed flower garden. The odd circle of dirt was a few meters high along the roof of the burrow itself, jetting out along the steep slope of the domed structure. A small railing had been placed along the outer edge. Little square flower beds jutted up from the dirt, all of them filled with various varieties of flowers.

Bonnie stopped and twisted on her heel to stare at Judy. Her face burned with worry and concern.

"What is it dear," Bonnie asked carefully.

"Um, sorry?" Judy replied, her paws held up in surrender. "Whats what mom?"

Bonnie's nose set off, twitching furiously. Her eyes jumped around Judy's face, trying to get a read on her daughter.

"Judy, bun-bun," she said as her worry dropped to a frown. "You know you don't have to hide anything from us, right? I don't know what's going on, but you two are twitching like June bugs. Your ears are droopy, and he looks like he got about five minutes of sleep. A mother _knows_ when something is up."

" _Nick_ ," Judy said with a stern tone, "Didn't manage to get much sleep last night because of the kits in the room next to his."

"Kits? But they were up in the guest rooms?" Bonnie asked. She turned between the two as she realized what had happened. "Judy, we got your room ready for the both of you a few days ago. _I_ didn't prepare any guest room for Nick."

The pair looked at each other with an annoyed glare.

"Funny," Judy said. "James failed to mention that. He put Nick up in the guest rooms last night, we just thought it was... Well, I didn't want to intrude."

Bonnie's eyebrows pushed sharply down in annoyance.

"That boy," Bonnie said bringing her paw to press into her forehead. She peeked out from under it to speak "Mr. Wilde, I apologize. We wanted to keep Leora and the kits away from anyone so they wouldn't disturb them," Bonnie stepped forward and placed a paw on Judy's shoulder. "Listen, Judy, I am not going to pretend that I... That I could encourage your choice in living situation, no offense Mr. Wilde."

Nick offered a tip of his fingers in acceptance.

"None taken," he lied back to her.

"But Judy, we gave up on trying to control you _years_ ago. Please don't let this happen again, come _talk to us_. It seems your brother is less _tolerant_ as of late. I'll find him and-"

"Mom, don't," Judy said, taking her mother's paw into her own. "James is just trying to get a reaction out of us. Same thing he always does."

Bonnie's mouth word for a moment before she chose her words.

"Are you sure sweetheart?"

"Mom, Nick and I have faced worse than what softballs he is throwing," she turned to give Nick a comforting look. "James is ignoring us anyway. Nick can get a good night sleep tonight, and he can go chew rocks."

The rabbit's ears perked up some sound from back within the burrow.

"Oop, that would be Stu. Excuse me you two," Bonnie said as she hurried back inside.

Nick and Judy stood among the colorful set of flows as the midday sun bore down on them.

"Good distraction Carrots," Nick said as he walked up to the railing and leaned his weight against it. Judy came up beside him and allowed her side to press into his.

"Learned from the best."

"Lying to your own mother?"

"Not... Lying. Just not answering all her questions, yet," Judy replied. "I... I didn't want that conversation to happen until we decided we were ready. And besides, we agreed to give it a day before we did, right?"

"Right," Nick said as they watched the rest of the Hopps family come in from the fields. They stood in silence as they watched a team of rabbits worked to free one of the tractors from a rutted side road. Even the small moment of affection felt slightly scandalous to them, stretching their unspoken pact to keep their distance.

Neither of them noticed the new presence behind them, as they were carefully watched and observed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, feedback and critiques are welcome!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things aren't all happy down at the Hopps Family Farm....

"Well just look at you two," came a small voice from behind Nick and Judy. They turned around, stepping away from one another to create a comfortable gap between them. Standing behind them was a somewhat stocky female rabbit. She had a distinctly tired tinge to her voice as she spoke. "Oh, don't be like that."  
  
The rabbit stepped forward with plotting steps and embraced Judy.  
  
"I've been looking all over for you two, thought you might have drowned in the crowd out there." she said.  
  
"Heh, no. Mom just tried to corner us," Judy said releasing her sibling. "Leora, this is my partner, Nick."  
  
"So _you're_ the fox we keep hearing about," Leora said turning to Nick. His arm had barely started to move to offer a friendly paw when he found himself wrapped in a sudden hug. Judy gave him a smirk as he looked up in a moment of confusion. Leora let go of him and stood back to look at the couple again. "He isn't the hugger you promised us, Judy, you're going to have to work on that."  
  
"We've... Had a bit of a rough day," Judy said, placing a paw against Nick's arm.  
  
"Ah, was afraid I smelled of kit scat or something," the mother laughed.  
  
"Where's your husband?" Judy asked, peeking her head around to look at the open door into the burrow.  
  
"Oh, right," Leora said. "He got roped into helping your dad drive some trucks into town. Something about a pesticide sale? Your dad wants to get it all back to the burrow  
before the lunch crowd runs back off to the fields."  
  
Her head tilted at Judy.  
  
"So... You wanna see them?"  
  
Judy gave an energetic nod. The set moved back into the burrow, carefully working through the sea of mammals that now filled the main hall right to the brim. Many stood with their plates to eat, cramming into the surrounding halls and entryways.  
  
"You're um... Partner," Leora asked back to Judy. "He does, _talk_ , right?"  
  
"Only when it's for a good joke," Nick spoke up from the rear.  
  
"Ha! Right then," Leora said with a knowing smile at Judy. They pressed onward to the stairs, finally escaping the tide of bodies. Leora stopped at the door to their room, right beside Nick's, and gently knocked and listened for a response.  
  
"Shh," Leora brought a finger to her mouth to hush the two before the three of them quickly moved through the door, shutting it to block out the clamor of the crowds nearby.  
  
Nick stopped at the door, his mouth hanging slightly open at what he saw. The noises that had roared from the room in the previous night had given him an impression of a small army of knee high young rabbits. They had belted their screams as if they were on stage, performing for some grand crowd. He was beyond certain that there was at least a dozen of them, taking shifts to cry through the entire night.  
  
Instead, a single crib sat in the corner of the cozy guest accommodation. A set of five tiny wrapped bodies, not all that much bigger than his hand sat in a piled bunch. Their small heads were all too small for the almost comically large ears that peeked out and around their faces.  
  
"Burt must have already gone downstairs," Leora whispered as she tiptoed across the floor to the crib.  
  
"Oh my gods," Judy whispered back to her. "They are getting so big!"  
  
"Three weeks of the world will do that to them," Leora responded, reaching into gently nuzzle one of the kits with her paw. She looked back to Nick, still standing at the threshold of the closed door. His eyes were small, fixated on the small crib across the room. She nudged Judy, pointing back to him. "What do I call him? Your husband, boyfriend?"  
  
Judy looked back at Nick with an inviting smile.  
  
"You had it right, partner works for us," Judy said in a hushed voice.  
  
"Well, is your partner afraid of small mammals?" Leora said, speaking up slightly to make sure Nick could hear.  
  
"I... Um, didn't want, to scare..." Nick stammered out, his eyes still locked on the crib.  
  
His mind raced to justify his actions. He had been around rabbit kits dozens of times before, many of them Judy's own family. Even on the force, he had run into the odd rabbit family in need of assistance. He had helped carry a small family free of a car wreck not more than a year previously, and the experience hadn't bothered him in the slightest.  
  
_What is **wrong** with you Wilde?_ He thought to himself. _You're acting like a scared timid-_  
  
"I promise they don't bite, much." Leora offered as she leaned in to scoop one of the kits away from their warm pile. It shifted in her paws, reaching out an arm to clench into her her as she brought it to her shoulder for Judy to see.  
  
Judy's eyes stayed fixated on the small kit, not even looking away as her paw came up to beckon Nick to come closer.  
  
"You need to come see this Nick," she said as she brought a finger to stroke along the kits head. "Leora, they are so beautiful."  
  
"Heh, every mammal is cute when they are _sleeping_ ," Leora chuckled back at her. "Here, this is little Samantha."  
  
Leora carefully worked the kit to offer her to Judy. Her eyes lit up as she carefully took the small creature with both her paws and did her best to cradle it like she had seen her sister do moments earlier. She rocked gently in place as the small kit nuzzled into her warm shoulder. Her mouth held open slightly in wonderment as she looked back up to Nick.  
  
Leora leaned back into the bunch of kits to pluck another from their warm collective. She held it carefully and crossed the room to Nick.  
  
"No hiding from the kits Mr. Wilde," she said as she promptly forced the kit over towards him. Nick's eyes lurched from the kit to Judy and back.  
  
"I don't want to... Mess up, or hurt-"  
  
Judy crossed the room to join them.  
  
"Relax Nick," Judy said as she gently managed the back of the kit in her arms. "Just don't drop... Him?"  
  
"Mhmm, this is little Dexter," Leora said.  
  
Nick leaned down, slowly picking up the small bundle from his mother. The kit felt impossibly light to him. He cradled it in his paws, allowing its head to gently rest against his paw pads. Nick's eyes widened suddenly as Dexter began to squirm in place.  
  
"He's cold, Nick," Judy whispered, nodding to the kit against her own shoulder.  
  
A soft series of knocks came to the door. Nick's ears perked up, and he carefully stepped to the side. Slowly, he copied Judy's motioned to bring the small warm bundle to his chest, allowing it to wiggle it's face into the soft material of his shirt.  
  
A buck peered in through the door, smiling at the sight of the mammals inside. Wordlessly he waved to Nick and Judy, before pointing to Leora and motioning for her to come closer. He leaned his head in, whispering something into her ear.  
  
Judy rocked her body back and forth in slow, practiced motions. The kit against her shoulder let out a tiny high pitched yawn. Her eyes stayed fixed on Nick and the kit at his chest.  
  
"Judy?" Leora asked. "Would it be a bother if I stole you two for an hour? They need another driver for dads convoy."  
  
"Oh sure," Judy whispered back, turning to return the kit into its crib.  
  
"Oh, no, I didn't want you to drive sis. I wanted to know if you two could stay up here with the kits while we are gone?"  
  
Judy stopped and carefully turned back with her teeth clenched in a powerful smile.  
  
"Heh, thought you might like some time with them. They are already fed, just need some nap time," Leora explained as she leaned out the door. She eyed Nick one last time, his attention was gone from the work, fixated on the small bundle in his arms. "If your fox dies, no blaming me sis!"  
  
She waved quickly and closed the door, leaving the couple alone in the suddenly quiet room.  
  
"Hows it going over there, Slick?" Judy asked as she walked over to the bed and sat on the edge.  
  
Nick's face didn't move from the small warm furry body in his arms.  
  
"He's... So _small_."  
  
"They to tend to come out that way," Judy said with a grin. "You _are_ gonna stay on your feet right?"  
  
His attention ripped away from Dexter, looking up and over at her. Nick couldn't wrap his head around how _confident_ she sat holding her sister's kit.  
  
"I'm just nervous," he replied, walking over to join her on the bed. "I don't wanna hurt him or, do something wrong..."  
  
"They're _kits_ Nick, just don't drop them and you really can't mess it up."  
  
"Yeah, but you just seem like you knew exactly what to do."  
  
"You try growing up with hundreds of little siblings, and nearly a thousand nibbling without holding onto a few. Look at him, he's fine. They just want something warm to be next to, that's all you need to give him," she said swaying slightly as she cradled her own warm bundle.  
  
Minutes passed in silence. Slowly, Nick found himself relaxing. His back released its tension, and his desire to run screaming from the room faded gradually. He barely noticed Judy watching him as the time rolled by.  
  
A muffled crashing sound came from the door. Judy's attention and ears snapped up at once, her paws instinctively pulled the kit to her chest. Nick's ears twitched back and forth, listing for another sound. The officers shot one another a look. A shrill scream followed the crash, and the din of panic ensued.  
  
"Stay here," Judy said, carefully slipping the sleeping infant out of her paws and into his.  
  
Nick's eyes went wide as he glanced down at the kit and back to Judy as she made sure he safely had her.  
  
"No-no-no-no, _no_. You are _not_ leaving me alone with five snack sized rabbits Fluff, _no_!" Nick rattled off his pleas in a horse whispered voice.  
  
"Sorry Hun, duty calls," Judy's ears snapped behind her as another set of screams came from the hall. Her paws fell from Nick's arm as she bolted to the door, and was gone in a blur.  
  
Nick's chest held itself tightly as the echo of the slamming door rocketed around the room. He would later swear he heard both himself and the kits draw one long breath together. Instantly he gained a true appreciation for the sound canceling properties of the burrow's walls. The previous night had been impressively loud, but in person, the kits took their art to a whole new region of pain.  
  
His eyes darted from the two kits already mostly filling his arms, to the set of three now screaming from the crib.  
  
"You've. Got. To. Be. _Kidding_. Me," He said between the pulse of pain racking at his ears. Nick carefully balanced the two kits against him as he walked out across the floor to a rocking chair beside the crib. Turning around, he swept his tail beside him and cautiously sat down.  
  
One by one, Nick tried the ideas that came to his head.  
  
_Judy was kinda bouncing them a little?_  
  
And still, they wailed.  
  
_Okay, rocking. Rocking back and forth has to help a little? Maybe with that stroking thing they were doing?_  
  
And still, they cried.  
  
Nick rotated through the set, trying one by one to calm and return them to the crib. At most he was able to quiet a kit or two down in his arms, before the rest in the crib would demand attention again. Time fell away as Nick desperately worked to calm the upset kits. His mind raced to remember the suggestions from the book Judy had given him to read. He tried everything.  
  
And still, they screamed.  
  
_And to think, for a minute there I thought I could do this someday..._  


* * *

  
  
Judy carefully wrapped the foot of her older brother. The bandaged held a quick application of antibacterial ointment against the burn along his foot.  
  
A shoddy support had given way, spilling hot oil out along the kitchen. She had arrived to find panic and chaos as various rabbits had tended to the smattering of injuries that had resulted. Her attempt to call them to order had fallen on deaf ears among the panicked reactions of her family.  
  
Checking the wounded, Judy made the judgment call not to call an ambulance. The injuries were painful, but nothing life threatening. A quick call to a local doctor got him on the road for a visit to properly address the burns. She had spent the rest of the time doing what she could.  
  
_Clean, sanitize, bandage_ she thought as she finished her task.  
  
"Judy this really isn't feeling any better," her brother said looking down at the tightly woven wrap.  
  
"It's isn't going to, I just wanted this cleaned until someone trained gets here." She stood up, offering a paw and shoulder to help him limp to a seat. Looking up around the room, the other injuries had managed to find trained first responders of their own. "Nice having a small village for a family, eh? Plenty of nurses in a pinch."  
  
She spotted the front door burst open.  
  
"Hey, you gonna be okay? I think the help is here."  
  
Getting an affirmative nod from the injured sibling, she took off weaving through the crowd milling around the main hall. It had been an hour since her call had gone out. To her surprise, she found not the doctor, but Leora standing just past the door, with a confused look on her face.  
  
"Judy?"  
  
"Oh, hey Leora."  
  
"What _happened_?"  
  
Judy turned back to the strange scene of the hall.  
  
"Eh, someone managed to spill some oil on the floor. Caught a few of the cooks. A few signed toes, but nothing some TLC won't clear up. Hopps' earned a few battle scars today, though."  
  
"Um, not to assume, but the kits...?"  
  
Judy's eyes shot open. Her mind had gone straight to first responder mode when she had hit the balcony. Training kicked in, and she did what she was born to do. Her mouth formed a silent curse as the two sisters stared at one another.  
  
"I left Nick up there... Oh no," Judy turned to look up to the balcony. "I might have kinda of... Slammed the door?"  
  
The two quickly made their way up to the room, coming to a slow crawl as they neared the door. They heard the chorus of screams and cringed.  
  
"You were trying to talk him _in_ to being a dad, right?" Leora asked.  
  
"It's a work in progress," Judy deadpanned back to her.  
  
They carefully opened the door to find Nick pacing back and forth near the crib, a trio of kits in his arms. He didn't seem to notice the two as the door closed behind them. He muttered some soft tune as he circled back and forth. They waited a few moments before he caught on to their presence. His face was tired and pained as he looked up to them. In an instant, it shifted to shame.  
  
"I'm so sorry," the words flooded out of his mouth. "They got upset, and then I could calm them and, one would stop but the rest would keep going and-"  
  
Leora smiled as she crossed the space to gently take the kits from Nick's arms.  
  
"Oh sweethearts, shh," she cooed to her kits. She brought them back to the crib and set them amongst their siblings. "Don't worry Nick, these little guys just love to work those lungs."  
  
Her voice had to stretch to carry over the crying kits.  
  
"I got these little ones, why don't you two go handle the burn ward," she offered kindly. Nick held his face away from her, burning with shame. Judy gave her sister a hug before the two departed down to the main hall.  
  
They walked to the balcony to find a confused looking set of rabbits in white coats being mobbed near the front door. Nick closed his eyes for a moment as he leaned against the railing, pushing away the tension clawing at his mind. He tilted his head down and smirked at Judy.  
  
"piercing home was such an organized chaos just thirty minutes ago," Nick said as they watched the scene unfold.  
  
"Tell me about it," Judy grumbled as she walked down the stairs towards the crowd. Nick followed closely behind, keeping his head slightly tucked down as they went. Finding the mob of rabbits blocking her way, Judy turned to her partner and nodded her head to the group. Nick looked between her and them and quickly understood.  
  
Drawing a deep breath, Nick forced a harsh whistle between the pads of his fingers. The entire room came to a standstill, every rabbit's ears locking onto the piercing sound. Everyone stood frozen as the sound dissipated. Judy wasted no time in seizing her opportunity.  
  
"Doctor Thumps!" She called out. "Can we get some room here?"  
  
The crowd parted slightly, just enough to allow the doctor and his assistant to make their way into the room. Nick watched quietly as she led them to the kitchen, listing off the triage of injuries she had seen. Over the course of an hour, the room slowly emptied again. More and more trucks returned with the promised goods, and others left to work the fields again. In the end, one of the injured rabbits was driven off for more serious care. The rest were given instructions and perceptions for their wounds.  
  
Judy finally found Nick after dealing with the mess. She walked with a comfortable bounce in her step. Nick leaned back to enjoy the sight as she approached. Watching Judy in her element felt like the first good thing to happen to him all day.  
  
The situation under control, the pair retreated from the burrow the gently sloping hills of the burrow's lawn. The sun had stretched into the sky, the shadows around the farm began to lazily crawl to the east. They sat down to watch the relaxed activity of the farm as rest of the family returned to their normal routines.  
  
"Think you would ever settle down out here?" Judy asked, her head tilting up against Nick's shoulder.  
  
"On a farm?"  
  
"No, not a farm per say. Just... The country, out away from the city."  
  
"Judy, we _just_ bought the house back-"  
  
"No, not like _tomorrow_. I mean, in a few decades. Retirement, that kinda thing." Judy corrected.  
  
Nick looked out across the sprawling expanse of the farm. It wasn't home to him. Everything was different out away from the city. Things were all too quiet, the sky so big it felt like it might swallow him whole if given the chance. He rocked gently against her as he thought.  
  
"Eh, let me get old and senile first. I won't know the difference then."  
  
Judy pushed away from him with a mockingly shocked look.  
  
"Country life not good enough for you?" She joked.  
  
"No, I just don't feel like I belong out here Fluff. Life is so peaceful and slow out here. Look how quickly a little grease spill whipped up your family into a frenzy. You caught yourself a common city fox."  
  
She leaned herself back against him.  
  
"I wouldn't say common," Judy said warmly. In the distance her eyes caught a familiar bright red truck leaving a long tail of rising dust behind it. Her parents. She nudged him a pointed out the approaching vehicle. "So, any thoughts on talking to the head Hopps tomorrow?"  
  
"Depends. How good of a shot is your father?"  
  
They sat together contently as Judy's parents arrived and jogged into the burrow. Minutes later a small team of rabbits drove his truck to the barn to unload the truck bed of bagged pesticides.  
  
"Do you wanna go talk to them about the spill?" Nick asked.  
  
"There's plenty of bunnies to share the story. Besides, dad gets all flustered when he gets swamped. He was always the emotional one."  
  
"Fair point," Nick replied. They sat and enjoyed the warm embrace of the sun as time passed.  
  
For over and hour they sat, only chatting idly to break the silence every few minutes. It was the first time all day the two could really relax and let go of their stress. It was the calm before a brewing storm.  
  
Stu burst from the front of the burrow, his head swiveling around the yard as he searched for something. The two quickly separated from each other, suddenly aware of how affectionate they must have seemed.  
  
"Shh," Nick said. "I hear his vision is based on movement..."  
  
Judy gave a nervous chuckle as Stu spotted them, and quickly set off marching with authority towards them.  
  
"You um, you didn't happen to eat anyone this morning?" Judy asked.  
  
"No more than usual?"  
  
Bonnie ran from the burrow, quickly catching up to her husband as he closed the distance across the driveway, and up the sloped grass hill towards the pair.  
  
"It's been an honor serving with you Officer Hopps," Nick whispered as Stu came to a stop with his wife beside him.  
  
They stood a few feet down the slope from Nick and Judy. Bonnie looked worriedly at the pair. Her husband seemed somewhere between angry and confused. Everything stopped for a few moment as the group exchanged their awkward looks at each other.  
  
"Hey you two," Judy asked cheerfully. "How's it going?"  
  
_He doesn't look like he brought his shotgun,_ Nick noted happily. _Wonder if he packs a sidearm..._  
  
"You have some explaining to do Judes."  
  
The pair looked at each other with a confused glance. Their shoulders shrugged before looking back to him. Judy carefully stood to talk.  
  
"About the spill? I dunno what happened, Nick and I were busy with Leora's kits when everyone started screaming about it."  
  
"That's. Not. What. I'm. Asking. About." Stu said at a metered pace. Bonnie reached up to gently hold his arm.  
  
"Come now dear, she doesn't have to share if she doesn't-"  
  
"What are you talking about?!" Judy asked, her face shifting back and forth between the two.  
  
Stu considered her for a moment, sizing up his daughter's question. His expression relaxed, joining Bonnie's with a worried tinge.  
  
"Somethings up Judy," he said. "Your mother sees it, I can see it, and Leora was asking us rather nervously if we had talked to you two yet. We've got enough going on with half a dozen injured cooks, I don't need my own family holding back something if something is going on. You two are only here for a weekend, so out with it."  
  
Judy turned to look at Nick, who still sat sitting on his haunch in the grass.  
  
_Shit shit shit,_ Nick repeated in his head. _I'm dead. Stu is going to find out, and have a fox skin rug by dinner._  
  
"I'm not doing this if you aren't ready," Judy said plainly to Nick. Her words were said carefully, with as much honestly as she could force into them.  
  
"Ready for _what_?!" Stu asked.  
  
"Hush dear, can't you see this isn't easy for them?" Bonnie chided her husband.  
  
"Not easy? What could be so big a deal Judy doesn't feel comfortable talking to her own parents and needs _his_ permission to talk about?" Stu asked.  
  
Judy's face whipped back at them, giving a stern glare at her father.  
  
"Right," Stu said, back peddling and holding his paws up in surrender. Judy turned her attention back to Nick.  
  
He sighed as he stood up from the grass, taking a single step forward to stand next to Judy. He studied her face carefully for a moment, trying to feel out if she really meant it.  
  
"Just say the words," Judy whispered to him. "Tell me you need it and we can just put this off, walk away. I'm not doing this without you with me."  
  
Nick's eyes darted to the nervous set of parents across from them and back to his partner. His paw reached forward to take Judy's as he spoke back to her.  
  
"I'll always be with you Fluff, you know that. Besides, this is happening now or tomorrow regardless. Let's get this over with."  
  
In the back of Nick's mind, a plan began to hatch.  
  
_I don't need to do this,_ he thought. _Just let her parents take their stand, and watch the fireworks. Everything will calm down, we can go back and tell crossroads that's the family wasn't behind us, and everything can go back to normal. No one needs to see what a coward you really are._  
  
They turned to the parents, paw in paw before Judy started. She spoke slowly, carefully explaining as she went.  
  
"So," Judy started. "You both know Lilly is involved with that genetics program down at ZU? Well, they are doing some pretty incredible stuff. They are helping to connect parents that otherwise wouldn't really be able to have kits of their own. It's all in testing right now, but they want to bring it to market soon. It's basically ready to go."  
  
She looked up at Nick.  
  
"They approached us as part of their first set of patients. They want to help us have kits of our own."  
  
To their credit, Stu and Bonnie stood in silence, carefully listening as Judy spoke. Nick's eyes danced away from their faces, looking down at the soft green grass around their feet. Judy walked through every step from their meeting, leaving no details out. It all fell into background noise to Nick. The reality of everything coming out into the open sank slowly into his mind. His heart pounded faster and faster, preparing for the onslaught of whatever was coming.  
  
A short squeeze of his paw brought him back into the moment.  
  
"So yeah," Judy said looking back at him again. "If everything goes well they want us back in a week or two. We would be parents before the end of fall. I just... I want to know if you two are okay with this."  
  
The parents stood in silence, the reality of what Judy had told them slowly sinking in. They looked to one another as if to ask what they should do. Judy's paw redoubled its grip on Nick's as they waited. Stu and Bonnie simple stared into one another eyes in silence, for nearly a minute. Stu broke from the silent exchange first, looking to Nick. The sudden attention brought his snout back up to look at him.  
  
"Come on Nick," he said with a head nod. "Let's give the ladies some time to talk."  
  
_Divide and conquer,_ Nick thought. He turned to Judy who gave him a worried look. She saw it as well, a classic tactic they used on suspects all the time. Separate the group, drill them alone so they cannot stand together in solidarity.  
  
With one last strong grip, he released her paw and turned to followed Stu. He walked them past the burrow, and around to the large red barn behind it. Nick took one last look over his shoulder to see Judy and Bonnie sitting in the grass talking away before the burrow obscured his view.  
  
They walked into the large barn, to find an odd assortment of tools and equipment. An entire side of the structure was a dedicated set of maintenance bays. Trucks, small tractors were worked on by a small team of oil soaked rabbits. Stu marched them past them to the back, to a small well-kept parking spot. A shiny polished two mammal ATV sat in the spot.  
  
Stu hopped in the driver's seat, nodded for Nick to jump into the passenger seat behind him. Carefully he pulled out of the barn, and out along one of the many dirt paths that crisscrossed the farm. They rode in silence as they drove away from the burrow, eventually arriving at a sizable storage pond at the far north end of the property.  
  
Hopping out, they grabbed a set of folding chairs off from the back and walked down to the edge of the pond.  
  
"So Nick," Stu said to the fox.  
  
"So Stu," Nick said back. _You're calm, your good, nothing strange going on here. I Wonder if Stu knows a pond is a terrible place to hide a body. I would float too well. Yup, not helping yourself here Nick..._  
  
The rabbit let a long sputtering breath out as he stretched his feet out along the ground.  
  
"You know, if this happened not ten years ago, I would have gone straight for my shotgun," Stu said flatly. Nick didn't need to look to see the serious look on the mammal's face, his voice told him everything he needed to know. Stu wasn't lying.  
  
"Glad this wasn't back then I suppose," Nick said back, unsure what else to offer the rabbit.  
  
"Heh, guess it's better for both of us," Stu said. "So, directed gene modifications?"  
  
"That's what they want to do," Nick replied. "Don't ask me about it though, your daughter seems to have a better grasp on it than Judy or I will ever have."  
  
"Do you love my daughter Nick?" Stu asked turning to look slightly up at the taller fox.  
  
Nick looked at him, feeling the strange absurdity of the question.  
  
_What does this buck think I'm gonna say, no? Yeah Stu, your daughters nice and all, but I am really just in this for the sex. Man, let me tell you, scratch that rabbit just behind her ear..._ Nicks mind trailed off, daring himself the throw the joke into the father's face. He settled for a short sigh.  
  
"With all my heart sir," Nick said, trying to hide the desire to make a joke out of the whole mess. He turned away to look over the calm pond before them. In slowly picked up the red hue from the sky as the sun neared the distance horizon. "Judy walked into my life like a storm. I'm still trying to pick up the pieces if I am honest here. I don't know if I will ever find all of them. But I know this much. She isn't going anywhere that I won't follow without hesitation. And I am very much okay with that."  
  
"And do you think you can support her?" Stu asked, no hint of a joke is his tone.  
  
_Man, he is serious about this..._ Nick mused before turning back to him.  
  
"As best I can? Judy's probably going to make detective before me at the rate she is going, though. Not sure who is gonna support who."  
  
"And you're going to do right by her, no matter what?"  
  
"Yes, obviously," Nick said getting slightly annoyed at the repeated questions. "What are you trying to get at Mr. Hopps?"  
  
The two stared one another down for a few tense seconds before Stu talked.  
  
"I don't... Agree with what you two are doing here. I accept that Judy wants to be with you, and you know you're always welcome in our home. I've... I've worked hard Nick, hard to just accept that I was wrong for a very long time. But this? Are you sure you want kits? Are you even ready for this?"  
  
"No."  
  
The word came out of Nick's mouth before he could stop it. Before he could even hope to consider what he was saying, and what it would mean. Stu would know, then he would talk to his wife, then she to her daughter. Judy would find out through the grapevine in a matter of hours. A voice cried out in his mind at the stupidity of what he had just done and was promptly ignored.  
  
"No?" Stu asked.  
  
"No," Nick repeated with some effort. He could feel his chest hitching as the reality of it all came to him. "I am _not_ sure I want kits, Mr. Hopps. I'm _not_ sure I am ready for any of this. Two weeks ago my life was a nice straight path. Stick with Judy, make the world a better place, and keep my head above water with any spare time I had left.  
  
"Then your daughter walks in and does the same damn thing she always does. Makes a mess out of _everything_. Don't get me wrong, I still love her to death. But this?"  
  
"I've walked into burning infernos, without a moment of hesitation, because I heard someone cry for help. When every mammal in the city turns tail to run, it's my _job_ to walk against the current and stop whatever it is that is causing them to panic. I've charged headlong into active gunfire, never once stopping to really wonder if I was in the right place or not.  
  
"And all that? It's peanuts. Nothing. Just a thing I do every day because it's. My. Job. But kits? But... Being a... I don't know if I am ready. I don't have any of the answers that I feel I really should have by now. So when you ask 'do I want kits'? When you ask me if I am ready? That's a no, one hundred percent a no."  
  
Nick allowed himself to catch his breath from the rant. His toes and fingers gave a dull tingling sensation, feeling slightly numb from the stress. He balled his paws into fists as he stared out across the glassy surface the water.  
  
Stu gave him no feedback. Not a grunt, not a sigh, simply calm silence. Nick waited for what felt like an eternity, before turning his head as the rabbit stood up, and folded his chair.  
  
"I think I've heard everything I need to Nick. Come on, let's get back to the farm. Everyone will be packing back in for dinner soon."  
  
The old rabbit waddled back to the ATV, the day's work clearly catching up to him. After putting their chairs away, he hopped into the passenger side, steadying himself with the roll bar. Nick stopped to look from him to the driver's seat.  
  
"They do let you cops drive, right?"  
  
"Right," Nick said shaking the sudden awkwardness from his mind.  
  
The drive home was slow and tenuous. Nick had never driven along such rutted roads before and managed to nearly get stuck on several occasions. By the time they made it to the burrow, the sun had finally slipped below the earth, leaving them driving by the headlight.  
  
"You remember where we got her, right?" Stu asked as they neared the burrow. Nick gave him a curt nod, looking up along the path leading around the back of the massive domed home. "Good. Park her back in her spot, don't worry about the keys. I'll see you inside."  
  
Stu hopped out as Nick came to a gentle stop, and walked off towards the burrow. Nick carefully pulled the ATV in and around the barn, slowly backing it into the now darkened structure. A dim light shed through from the front of the barn, the same lamp that would burn through the night. He stopped, turning off the quietly running engine and enjoyed the silence for a moment of rest.  
  
_Good job Nick,_ he thought to himself. _Way to convince your partner's father that you are never going to be a good father to her kits. Now we get to go watch the fireworks go off. Eh, the couch isn't so bad to sleep on. Judy will forgive me. Eventually._  
  
He walked away from the ATV, and down the dark length of the structure. Nearing the end of the building, Nick stopped. The air outside had become still as the evening set in. His feet stood on solid concrete, the base of the entire structure, and yet something around him gave a sudden series of creeks. His fur stood up on end as he turned around.  
  
A sudden piercing pain rocketed from the back of his head as something impacted his skull. Instantly Nick fell to his knees, trying to duck away from whatever had caused the first impact. His eyes held shut as his vision cleared from the dull gray static that had taken over with the hit. Paws grabbed onto his wrists. Strong paws. Their grip was harsh and with purpose. They pulled his arms out and away quickly, as a burlap sack was tossed onto his head and tightened. His arms struggled against his captures as best they could.  
  
He quickly found himself being dragged and carried out the back of the barn. A cacophony of voices started to hoop and holler around him as they went.  
  
"You got the torch, Bill?" One voice asked.  
  
"Sure do!" Another voice responded from the edge of the group.  
  
Nicks' chest pounded as he tried to twist and turn against them. Every struggle seemed to only remind them to hold his limbs tighter. Time felt lost to him as they traveled, he was unsure how far they had gone before he felt himself harshly dropped against a large tree trunk. Someone barked orders, and ropes were tied to his arms, holding them apart against the bulk of the tree.  
  
Nick stopped struggling against his captures. He set himself to save his strength for the right moment, and prepare to fight them off when he had another chance. Voice talked in the background, muffled by the bag and his own panicking breaths. A blow torch was lit, someone mentioned something about making sure it was good and hot. Hot enough to leave a good deep mark.  


* * *

  
  
Stu grabbed himself a plate and walked to join his wife and daughter at a table. Dinner was always a quiet meal, everyone having exhausted themselves on the miles of fields that stretched out in every direction from the burrow.  
  
He looked across to his wife. A silent question. Bonnie turned to her daughter, who sat before the empty plate. She turned back to her husband and nodded. Stu turned his attention to Judy. She looked at him anxiously. Stu turned down to pick at his plate, before dropping his fork and leaning back.  
  
"Your fox is no worse off than I was Judes," he said. "I don't think you two rightfully know what you are in for. Most parents aren't, and mammals... They just won't look at your kits the same. But... This is your life Jude-the-dude. If you two really want this, you have our support."  
  
Judy had expected to feel elated at the offering. To jump up screaming in joy with her parents. Instead, she felt a strange and calm acceptance. There was no victory won for her, just a neutral middle ground for both parties to meet at. Still, it felt like more than she could have hoped for. She gave them a half-hearted smile.  
  
"Thanks, guys. That, that really means a lot to me."  
  
"Now you're sure you don't wanna move back in for a few months? You know, just until the kits are-"  
  
"Mom!" Judy said with a light chuckle. "No, we can make it work. I just... I wanted to know I had someone to call if things got over our heads you know? It's not like Nick has anyone to call..."  
  
The parents stole a glance at one another as Bonnie reached over to embrace her daughter.  
  
"Sweat heart," she said softly as her paw patted Judy's back. "You _always_ have a place to come home to. You should both know that by now."  
  
"Yeah," Judy said as she touched her mother's arm. "But it's... It's nice to hear it too, you know? This last week has felt like we are just trying to stop from drowning in all that has hit us. Hey, speaking of which, did you drown my fox in one of the storage ponds?"  
  
"Ha, Naw. Just gave him the usual questions. Had to use the 'Modified Marriage Questions' on him," Stu said as he dug into his food. "Never had to ask about kits before. Usually, it's just some buck asking to marry someone."  
  
Judy freed herself from her mother's hug and looked out around the hall.  
  
"Then where did you leave him?" Judy asked.  
  
"Who, Nick? He was just parking the ATV. He should be back any second, provided he didn't get lost in the barn," Stu replied. His fork stopped at his plate again, a nagging feeling reaching the pit of his stomach. He carefully stood up to glance around the room, not finding the rabbit he was scanning for.  
  
"Something the matter dear?" Bonnie asked.  
  
"Oh, it's probably nothing," Stu said absently as he looked around the second time. "I'll be right back, I just wanna check on something."  
  
  
Judy stood to follow her father, leaving her mother along with a confused look.  
  
"Dad!" She called as they burst out the front of the burrows. "What's going on?"  
  
Stu nervously walked off the front deck, and onto the gravel and sand of the driveway.  
  
"Your brother, _James_ ," Stu said over his shoulder as he walked.  
  
"Dad, it was just a little outburst, Nick was fine! Or at least not so bad coffee didn't seem to fix it..."  
  
"You weren't out in the fields today," Stu said as he turned back to give her a resolute look.  
  
They entered the barn, flicking on the row of lights. They blinked and flickered on as they made their way to the back. The pair stopped at the ATV and stared for a moment.  
  
"You don't think..." Stu started before something caught Judy's eye.  
  
Her head snapped to the side, as a small bright light lit up the dark field, through the still opened back door. She whispered Nick's name under her breath as her body kicked into gear. Judy couldn't really feel herself running, the barn seemed to simply fade into memory rather than pass by. Her feet pounded against the soil, but somehow it all felt so distance to her.  
  
_I'm coming Nick._  
  
Judy approached the collection of brothers, still at a full sprint, and finally saw the source of the light. A broken ring of rabbits stood in a circle beside one of the trees on the edge of a field. Nick sat against the tree, his arms held out and bound, with a brown sack awkwardly tied over his head. In the middle of the ring, someone stood with a blow torch, holding it above their heads against a metal brand. The rabbit turned slowly, uttering some practiced speech to his audience under the glow of the flame and hot metal.  
  
Judy didn't stop to hear the words, in the dim light she recognized James holding the torch. The world seemed to catch up to her, as reality snapped back into place. Her face twisted with anger, her arms came forward to shield herself as she approached. Her paws twitched as they balled into tight fists.  
  
She ducked between two of the rabbits in the outer circle, screaming Jame's name along with a forgotten obscenity. The words slipped from her throat with an angry crack to her voice. The buck had just enough time to twist his body in place, only partially facing her before she made contact. Judy leaped into the air, bringing her feet up and forward to make solid contact with his chest.  
  
The torch and brand when flying up over her head as her momentum shoved both of them out past the tight circle of rabbits and into the dark dirt of the roadway. She landed mostly on top of her brother, upright enough to bring a punch down at his core. Judy didn't feel it.  
  
Again and again, she hit him as hard as her tiny frame would allow. Every punch reverberated back through her arms in a wave. Training and practice gave way to her anger and rage. Judy felt _nothing_.  
  
After a time, someone grabbed her wrist.  
  
"That's enough Judy, you got him." Her father's voice said with panting breaths. Her head locked onto the silhouette of his face. He looked at her for a moment, before turning back to the crowd of rabbits behind him. His grip on her arm held strong as he spoke. "I think we've had enough for one night, don't you think boys? Let's get this fox untied and back to the burrow."  
  
The question came with a threat, clear as day the tone of voice Stu had used. Judy freed herself from his grip and stood up from her brother.She walked in a slow gate around her father, and towards Nick. Dull aches and pains poked at her mind. She pushed them aside.  
  
"Oh Nick," she whispered out as she softly fell down to her knees. Her paws moved carefully with a purpose to unbind the ropes around his wrists. He didn't seem to struggle, or resist at all. She pulled the sack over his head, allowing his wide eyes to see her.  
  
They sat, silently watching one another. Their eyes searched each other for signs of pain or trauma. Neither seemed to know what to do or say.  
  
Judy turned to the group behind her. They stood half facing them, most of them looking at the ground.  
  
"We don't need to be here right now," she said. Her paw reached out to Nick, offering leverage for both of them to stand up. She gave a confused glance as Nick stood beside her without issue.  
  
"Don't need to tell me twice Fluff."  
  
Turning back one last time to shoot her family a judgmental glare, Judy took in the strange scene. Her father helped James up from the dirt. He seemed shaky on his feet as Stu held him up. Another brother stood beside them, a handkerchief against his face. Someone picked up the blowtorch and extinguished it.  
  
Shrouded in dark, the two walked away from the group in silence. Once they were far enough to have some privacy, Judy's questions began. She stopped them with a tug at his elbow.  
  
"Nick, are you okay?"  
  
"I'm fine," Nick replied. His voice carried an eerie calm, almost as if spoken about the weather.  
  
"Did they hurt you? Are you sure?"  
  
"I'm _fine_. Just a bump to the head."  
  
"They hit your head? Stop for a second, Nick, _stop_. Let me see-"  
  
"It's just a bump, I'll be fine. Let's just get back to the burrow," Nick said with an impatient tone.  
  
" _Nicholas Piberius Wilde_ , why are you acting like nothing big just happened? You were attacked, dragged out into a field-"  
  
"By a bunch of rabbits. Yes, I was there Fluff. But I'm fine."  
  
Judy gave him a concerned and watchful glare as they walked on. As they rounded the barn, a distant set of flashing lights caught both their eyes. In raced along the long road up to the burrow as the two closed in on the front door.  
  
"Ah, backup is here," Nick said amusedly  
  
"Not my backup," Judy responded as they walked up and across the porch. Nick stopped them before they could reach the door.  
  
"Huh, someone else called it in then. Should we wait to give a report?"  
  
Judy looked out at the light. It would take the car another minute or two to traverse the long dirty road to the farm and reach the burrow. "They will find us when they need us. Come on, lets go get away for a few minutes."  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, reviews and critiques are appreciated!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be my final edit to this series. My local copies and backups have already been deleted, as well as all of my notes. 
> 
> Due to some unfortunate drama (much of which I am at fault for), I am leaving the Zootopia community this afternoon. This will be a clean cut. Passwords have been rotated, accounts deleted, but this chapter was up and ready for posting so I wanted to share one last moment with the community. 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who helped me along this journey. When I started writing about 8 ish months ago, I had not written fiction since high school. It was a blast to do, and I learned so much from everyone's reviews and comments. I've grown a bit as a writer, and as a person. If things were different, I would have loved to stick around for Zoop2 someday. Who knows, maybe I will pop up as a different name? 
> 
> Please enjoy the final submission to this story. Sadly it's gonna have to end here.

 

Nick followed Judy into the burrow. Bright lights flooded the space, making it seem like the day had never left. Most of the family sat at the tables in a sea of hundreds of ears, finishing their evening meals. Plates and metal utensils clattered in the din of the room. He caught a glimpse of Bonnie pacing around, waving her arms while she talked on her phone, just before they disappeared down a flight of stairs into a dirty winding hallway. Judy turned off through a small door. A long strip of yellow 'Do Not Cross' police tape wrapped around it like a sash, with numerous ZPD stickers plastered along the bottom. A shrine from her childhood.

Her room was small, a confined space she had long outgrown. A small bed sat against the far wall, shrouded in a pastel blue blanket. Her desk sat to the side, her own school books still neatly organized as if she had left home only yesterday. A single light bulb hung down from the ceiling, dangling from a thin wire.

She closed the door behind them, and gently guided Nick to sit on her bed. Her paws came to his snout. He looked back at her with the same cool expression he normally did. No stress, no worry, just a calm and relaxed fox.

"Nick," she said with a worried tone. "You're acting like nothing just happened."

"Nothing that I can't handle happened," he replied flatly. "Just some thug bunnies with quick feet." His paw pressed against the sizable bump on his head. "Heh, and a heavy board. I don't suppose I could get some ice for this?"

Judy pursed her lips, considering him carefully.

_Balance was good, no obvious signs of concussion,_ she thought. _He should be okay for a minute._

"Don't go anywhere, I'll be right back."

Nick waved his arms sarcastically above their heads.

"Where am I gonna go, for a nice walk with your siblings again?"

She didn't laugh as she left the room and briskly walked to the kitchen. The main hall was still full, but had taken on an odd calm as she passed the rows of tables. Her family stole quick looks at her as she moved through them into the kitchen and to the row of freezers. Working around the cooks, who were just beginning to clean up the remnants of the night's meal, she found a drawer with some plastic bags. She pushed her way into the busy hustle of cooks and found some counter space to crush the ice. 

"Judy!" came her mother's voice from deep within the rows and rows of tables. Judy looked up from the bag of ice to see Bonnie weaving through the last few bunches of rabbits to enter the kitchen.She sighed and turned as her mom reached her, quickly embracing her in a hug.

"Are you okay Judy?"

"I'm _fine_ mom," she said curtly, picking up and jingling the bag of ice. "Nick just bumped his head a little, that's all."

Bonnie nervously glanced out towards the front room.

"The Sheriff showed up, he's talking to your father and brothers now. Said he-"

"Will want a statement from Nick and I, yeah I know." Judy said, sighing as she followed her mom's glance to the den. "Would you send him down to my room when he's ready, I'm going to go make sure no one managed to crack Nick's big head open."

Judy turned to walk around her mother. Bonnie's paw moved quickly, grabbing her elbow before she could turn away.

"Are you okay sweetheart?"

"No mom, I'm not," Judy bit back, more anger slipping through then she had planned. "But... Now really isn't the time or place for this? I need to go take care of my partner."

Bonnie hesitated, watching Judy's face carefully before nodding and letting go. In a flash Judy was gone and down the stairs. A few worried faces looked at her from the nearby tables, none of them really what to offer.

Bonnie turned and walked with a tired gate back to the den. She opened the door quickly, slipping in before closing it behind her. The hustle and bustle of the main hall fell to a murmur though the heavy wooden door. A pair raccoons stood near the center of the den, dressed in their uniforms. One held a pad of paper, quickly jotting down notes as the other addressed her sons. They sat among the couches, giving him their worried attention. Looking around, Bonnie couldn't see James or her husband in the group.

Seeing her, the silent officer nodded his head towards the door. Bonnie waved a thanks, and excused herself out front as the other officer began to explain what would be happening to them.

Closing the front door, Bonnie found Stu and James sitting off the front step, looking out at the polished cruiser now in the front of the burrow. It chirped away with pings and cracks as the engine cooled. Neither of the two bucks glanced up at her as she sat down next to them. A symphony of crickets sang on in the night as they waited.

"James." Bonnie said softly, breaking the long silence among them. "What... What happened?"

Her son gave her an estranged look.

"I... I just wanted to protect Judy mom. I didn't want that fox to..." his voice trailed off, shaking as he searched for the words to explain his actions. Bonnie leaned forward to look around James and at her husband. Stu simply shook his head. His meaning was clear to her, answers would come later. Bonnie leaned back, stare out with her family at gentle rollings fields of the farm as silence sunk back in.

It took thirty more minutes before one of the raccoons stepped out to talk to James. The officers politely excused Stu and Bonnie, who retreated back into the house.

"Judy's room," Bonnie said quietly in the now empty den. Stu placed a paw on her shoulder, as they walked with tired plotting gates down through the house. Worried eyes and ears stuck out from the crowd still finishing their dinners, no doubt having heard of James' attack. The parents ignored them walking resolutely down one of the staircases leaving the room. They knocked gently on Judy's door, before quietly entering.

They found Nick sitting at Judy's desk. He sat facing away from them with his elbows resting on the table, holding a mostly melted bag of ice against the top of his head. His tail flicking angrily at the noise of the door. Judy sat on the edge of her bed, her eyes red and irritated.

"Hey Judes," Stu said quietly.

"Hey guys," Judy replied. Her voice sounded hoarse and tired, as if she had been screaming only moments earlier. She tucked her paws up under her arms, hugging herself to stop from rocking back and forth.

"The um. The sheriff is up-" Stu started.

"We know," Judy interrupted. "They came down a few minutes ago to talk to us."

The parents looked back and forth with nervous glances between the fox and their daughter.

"What?" Judy asked, gesturing over at Nick. "It's not like they really needed to question him. Once they saw our badges, they just asked us to file a report. Nick and I can drop it off in the morning."

Bonnie looked between the two. "What... What happens now?"

"Now?" Nick said, his ears tilting back slightly with concern. "Your son will be arrested, probably. It was pretty clear who the ringleader of that little band was, and I somehow doubt they are going to have much trouble getting the rest of your sons to point fingers."

"He will spend tonight in jail," Judy continued. Her face offered no expressions as she talked, simply explaining as if read from a book. "Things are pretty easy out here as far as the judiciary goes, not a lot of cases in the system. He'll be brought before the county judge, most likely in the morning. Depending on what they have collected for evidence, they may or may not charge him right away. That's, uh, kinda in judges paws now. If you guys have an attorney you want involved, now would be a good time to make a phone call. If James wants to fight this, it's probably going to trial."

"A trial?!" Bonnie asked nervously.

"Your son instigated a mob, probably planned out his attack in a reasonable amount of detail, likely committed a hate crime and assaulted me," Nick said plainly. "I hear these things are rather illegal these days?"

"But he only-" Bonnie began to reply.

"But. He. Only. _What_?" Judy spat out, her face twisting with a sudden annoyance. "I got out there to find them heating up a makeshift metal brand with the Hopps family seal on it, mom. A _brand_. They wanted... I think they wanted to _mark_ him."

"Now Judy," Stu said firmly. "I know everyone is upset right now, but your mother is just worried."

"About who?!" Judy replied. "Oh, by the way, Nick is fine, seeing as you two didn't think to ask."

"Judy!" Stu said more sternly. "Jame's didn't mean to _hurt_ anyone. He was only looking to protect _you_."

The room fell oddly silent as Stu's words died. They seemed to echo against the sudden silence as the bed creaked. Nick's paw slid slightly forward and back onto the desk, his ears perked up and locked onto the sounds behind him. He felt the tension in the room snap like a angry tree limb.

_Of all the things that rabbit could say,_ Nick thought. _Of all the dumb stupid shit that could have come out of his mouth. Oh dammit her yelling is going to **hurt**._

His paws slid quickly back up to his head and over his ears to protect them. The icepack feel to the side, landing with a sad plop beside his elbow on the desk.

Judy's face seethed with rage, her paws clenched firmly as her nails bit into her palms. She slid forward off her bed, landing on her feet with an assertive posture. Stu's mouth tried to get something in before his daughter could start, the chirp of his voice died against wave of yelling.

" **He was only trying to protect _me_?!** " Judy belted out. "Your son snuck up on, clubbed, bagged, dragged, and tied my partner to a gods damned tree! All the while my own family not only watched this, but _actively participated in the crime!_ They stood around James like he was some great leader, in a damned circle! I'm not sure if they were just trying to keep Nick surrounded or start a cult! And you have the... The... _Audacity_ to come in here, and _defend_ that?!"

Her ears twitched at an angry forward angle, her entire body leaned into her voice with effort. Every inch of her was primed and ready to fight. Ever hair stood on end, ready to win.

"After everything that has happened?! I _trusted_ you. I trusted _both_ of you. How could you _do this_ to us?" Judy asked, her voice cracking with the question.

Her eyes swept between her parents. Their mouths held shut, confusion and fear cried out from their eyes. Judy closed her own, shaking in anger before turning to Nick.

"Did you leave anything upstairs?" Judy commanded, her foot thumping on the floor.

"Uh, no? Why?" Nick said, turning around to watch Judy rip their suitcase out from under the bed.

"We're going," She said.

"Going?" Nick asked as he stood up from the chair.

"Yes, going. I am not staying here tonight. We can fax your papers back from the station tomorrow."

The three watched in rapt silence as Judy threw the few things she needed from her room into her suitcase. Walking to Nick, she opened a firm paw to him. He considered it carefully before allowing her to takes his. Turning on point, she looked past her parents like they weren't even there. Her father reached up, grabbing her arm to stop her as she passed.

"Now you wait just one-" Stu started before Judy's face turned to him.

Her bloodshot eyes burned with anger, while her face framed them with unfettered fury. She stared at him resolutely, and waited for his paw to release it's grip and fall away. Stu shifted away from her slightly. The two pushed past Judy's parents, walked briskly back up the hall, and out through the den. The two uniformed raccoons turned towards them as they burst out the front door. Judy finally let go of Nick's paw. She soot breathing heavily for a few moments, gaining her last bits of composure.

"Do you two need anything more from either of us tonight?" she asked with a forced professionalism in her voice.

The two raccoons looked at each other with a confused glance and shrugged.

"No ma'am," one of the officers stated. "Just get the report to us tomorrow."

"Good," Judy said, before turning and walking around her brother with a width berth. She walked up to one of her parents trucks, throwing the suitcase into the back and quickly hopping into the drivers seat. Nick got into the passenger seat in silence as she turned out onto the drive way and sped off into the dark.

"I... I am so sorry Nick," she said as they reached the main road. She turned towards the highway as tears began to roll down her heated face. "I don't know why I brought us out here. This was all... It was supposed to be a chance for us to connect to my family. A chance to find more support, for us... For me. I really managed to mess this one up."

Nick's face turned away, as he looked out the window to the dark landscape as it rushed by.

"It's not your fault Judy."

"But it _is_. This is my half... This is my family. These are the people I should know like the back of my paw, and... I just didn't see them. I didn't see it coming. James was always a bit of a bad egg. Took things a little too seriously for his own good, you know? But this? How didn't I see this coming!"

"Hun," Nick said turning back to her. "This isn't something anyone would have seen coming."

" _It's my job to see this kind of thing coming!_ To serve and _protect_ Nick! And look at me! I let you get dragged into a home, and thrown next to a bunch of screaming kits for a night. This whole day has just been long string of my family being utter morons. This trip has a been a total disaster. And gods, then my parents?! How! How could they _say_ something like that. Every damn time I think they make some process, and let go of that prejudice I grew up around, they do _this_."

Nick turned back away, mumbling something under his breath. Judy's ear twitched, only half hearing his words. She opened her mouth to ask him to speak up, but stopped herself.

_Nick isn't the bad mammal here,_ she reminded herself. _You don't need to bark at him right now._

She let a long breath out through her nose, reigning in her emotions.

"I'm sorry Nick, I didn't hear that?"

"It's nothing."

"It's not nothing," Judy said, keeping a firm grip on her tone. "You say a lot of things, Slick. I don't remember the last time you said nothing."

Nick's head turned forward, staring at the single street lamp ahead, casting a lone circle into the otherwise black night.

"I said your dad had a point."

He instantly regretted his choice of words. The wheels of the truck locked up as Judy slammed on the brakes, bringing them to a long screeching halt. Momentum carried him harshly forward, pressing tightly into his seatbelt. The truck stopped just short of an unmarked crossroad. A tall skinny lamp dangled over the intersection, casting a wide yellow circle against the crackled tar.

Judy's paws started to shake with anger again. Her head turned to him with a angry and bewildered look.

" _What?!_ How can you _say_ that Nick?"

"Because it's true?"

"What is true?!" Judy barked back.

"That your brother was just trying to do the right thing Judy! He was just trying to protect his family! He was just trying to protect _you._ Oh... Erugh."

A strong bout of nausea filled Nick's stomach. His mouth went dry as his skin started to tingle. He undid his seatbelt, opened the door and slipped out from the truck. His head spun angrily as he stumbled forward into the ring of light in front of them. He heard Judy's door slam behind him.

"What the hell are you on about Nick?" Judy asked as she caught up to him. Her posture carried the strength to overcome her shorter stature. She stood defiantly behind him, waiting for an answer.

He turned carefully, his head cradling in a set of shaking paws. The cool night air softened the sickening feelings churning at his gut. His arms fell, as he pointed to his chest.

" _Me_ Judy. He was protecting you from _me._ Or, at least what you want me to be."

Judy's shoulders collapsed, leaving her arms hanging limply at her sides. Every bit of emotional momentum she had, every ounce and rage and anger, crashed from her mind like a shelf of shattering china. Her mouth hung open, her ears drooping along the back of her head.

"Nick," her voice had lost all of it's size, it came out small and worried. "What... What are you _saying?_ I don't want you to be anything but _you!_ When have I ever asked you to be anything but what you already are?"

His paws twitched slightly at the question. His feet flexed against the old as fault, his nails digging against it.

_How can she be asking me this? Why now? Why here?!_

"You asked me... You always do." His paw came up to his face, rubbing against his brow and eyes. His breaths came with a slow, controlled pace. "You see me for what you _think_ I can become, and then you ask me to be it."

"What are you talking about?" Judy asked as she took a few tentative steps to close the gap between them.

"We met. You see me as an honest fox, and what do you do? You ask me to _be_ an honest fox. Then you see me as good cop, and you do you do? You ask me to _be_ a good cop. We... We got to know each other, and you saw us as _more_. More than just friends. And what did you do Judy?"

She watched him in silence as he opened his eyes to give her a pained look.

"You've... Pushed me to achieve so much. To become someone better then I was. But this time?" Nick shook his head slowly, allowing his eyes to drift away from hers. His chest heaved as he held in a sob that tried to escape. "It's too much. I... You can't ask me to be this."

"Nick!" Judy pleaded quietly to him. "What are you getting at? What have I asked you to be?"

"A _father_ Judy. You... You're asking me to be a father." Nick looked up an away to the smattering of stars that dotted the sky above them. Tears slowly began to seep down his face. "Ask me anything Judy. Take anything you want from, I will do _anything_ you ask of me. But this? _This isn't something I can give you_."

Silence fell between them, giving way to the slow song of the crickets in the night. Nick's chest gave another sob, despite his attempts to keep them quiet. Judy's gaze drifted down, staring at her own feet illuminated by the lamp near by. They stood together, miles from any other mammals in the middle of a road, both feeling isolated and alone.

"Why," Judy asked. She got only silence in response, her voice cracked as she asked again. "Why do you think you can't do this Nick."

Her eyes darted back and forth on the surface of the tar, willing to look at anything but the shame between them.

"Isn't that obvious by now?" Nick said, looking back down and gesturing a arm back towards the farm. His voice did a poor job of hiding the anger that threatened to boil over inside him. "What do you think all of this showed you Judy? What did we _learn_ back there, huh?"

"What?" Judy asked turning her own confused tearful eyes to his.

"We show up, and what's the first thing that we get off that train? Your family. Your own blood. From the one place you think you should always find acceptance, and what do I do? I put a big old target, right on _our_ backs. You think I didn't catch that tension between you and James on the way back from the station? You talk about your litter-mates like they are closer to you then your own mother, but him? What I saw was _exactly_ what I would bring on our children. I bring hatred upon our home like it's the gods damn rain. Thats exactly what our kits would have faced."

Judy's nose stopped twitching as she listened, her face hung slightly as the words flowed over her. Nick's voice and sputtered as he continued, sobs trying to peak their way through every sentence.

"And then there's the rest of your family. At least you saw them. The stolen looks, the anger, the fear, the _disgust_ that you brought a _fox_ into their home. Your family might do business with foxes, but it's pretty clear they want that welcome to stop at the front door. You think I want to bring that same look of hate on our family? What would it be like for our kits to visit and feel that?

"Oh no, but the fun didn't stop there, did it? No! You got to see what happens when you leave me to try to care for kits. I was _useless_ Judy. Worse then that, I was lost with a task as simple as 'offer warmth'. It was like the kits could tell there was something wrong with me, everything I did just made it worse. And that was with only five of them, what would have happened if you had a dozen? Or more?! I couldn't get them to calm down for a minute, and you want a lifetime of me failing at caring for your kits?

"You're dad saw it. He dragged me out the back forty and asked. Took me to some stupid pond like he was gonna throw me in the drink, and _asked_. I couldn't even come up with a lie Judy. I spilled the truth out to him like it was a burden to have known it. Stu knew right away what kind of... What kind... What kind of _father_ I would have made."

"Nick-" Judy tried to start, her voice came out weak and small, having lost all it's glory from just moments before.

"And James! If everything else didn't show you what a incompetent parent I would make, James made sure to fill in _that_ gap, didn't he? The only thing I could do was cower and take what was coming to me. I hid inside and let them just drag me away. What happens when someone does that to our kits Judy? What happens the day someone decides the world is better off without our bastard kits of science? I can't protect my... Myself..."

Nick dropped himself to his knees, his body piling up on top of itself as he went. His heaving breaths held back his words, making them a struggle to get out.

"I couldn't even protect myself. How could I ever protect a family."

His glistening green eyes turned up to her. They begged her for a mercy that he knew would never come. For the burden on his soul to be lifted and freed from the choices he was offered. The words were finally out there, open for her to hear. He could never be the father she wanted, but he couldn't just walk away either. Nick had no way out, no means of escape.

"What. The actual. Fuck." Judy said in a flat voice. Nick's face grimaced in shame as he tried to turn away from her. Without hesitation she stepped forward, closing the last of the distance between them. Judy's paws gently caught his face and forced it back to look at her. A tremble shot through her arms as she took a breath.

"Nicholas. Piberius. Wilde," she spoke his full name for the second time that day. The first time had been out of anger, and confusion at his reaction to her brothers. Now her voice contained a subtle joy to it, a warming softness that only added to Nick's confusion. Her eyes slowly moved across the features of his face, taking in the subtle details. She dragged a slow warm finger up and along his nose. "You are impressively short sighted sometimes, you know that?"

"Wu.. Huh?" Nick's eyes stretched with the confusion. He had known where this all led. He had looked down the path he was to walk, and resolved himself to his fate. He had just laid out every single sign Judy would ever need to know he wasn't going to be a father. Despite this, a spark of joy came from her eyes.

"You knew, _exactly_ what my family could be like. You learned that the first time you came out here. We both know how... _Hurtful_ they can be sometimes, but when I asked you to stand beside me? You were right there. Just like you always are, just like you always will be when I _need_ you.

"My brother showed up at the train station and treated you like you barely even existed! Like you were no more than dirt on his heel. And what did you do? You let him make a fool of himself. You never let him have the upper paw, and see just how painful his words and actions were. Not once did you let him drag you down into the mud with him, you held the high ground the whole time. Even when you got to the burrow, and he subjected you to hours of those kits, you just took it. You didn't try to even the score, or seek some childish revenge. You _were_ the better mammal, because you _are_ the better mammal."

Judy's paw reached around to gently pet back along the back of his head as she spoke. His ears twitched as they gently rubbed past their base.

"When mom cornered us, and our whole plan was looking like it was out the window? You didn't ask me to stop. You didn't run, or hide. I gave that that option, and you knew it was safe to take it, but you didn't. You were ready stand there and take whatever came at us. You stuck right beside me. No sleep, surrounded by angry glares of hate, pushed into a situation you didn't want to be in..."

Judy bit back a laugh as more tears fell down her matted cheeks. She drew a snuffling breath through her nose.

"And still, you just stayed right with me. Without questions, without doubt. You really had my back there. You were ready to catch me if I fell.

"And then there was Leora and her kits. Gods Nick, you looked terrified when she gave you that kit. It was like you held your own soul in your very paws, but you didn't give up. You you faced it right in front of us. I left you in there for what, almost an hour? You could have cried mercy any time, Nick. You could have walked out that door, grabbed almost any rabbit is this family, and they would have taken away that burden.

"But you _didn't_. You stayed right with them, because you knew I asked you to. Because deep down, you knew that's where you were needed. I... I can't begin to describe how patient you were in there. How gentle and caring you were with every single one of them. Sure, you didn't manage to calm them down, but you didn't give up on them either. You never stopped caring for them.

"Then there was dad. Right to his old 'Pond of Intimidation'. He does to every buck that comes knocking for one of his daughters paws in marriage, Nick. It's basically tradition at this point. You know what he told me right after? That you were no worse off then he was before he had kits. He saw himself in _you_ , Nick. Not a failure, not a bad parent, not a bad father, but _himself_."

"But-"

Judy's paw shifted, bring a finger to the front of his mouth to silence him.

"But _nothing_ Nick. We got what I asked for, their support. It's... Well, we have things to talk about still, but they know, and they are okay with it." Judy smiled as she let out a soft chuckle. "And then, through all of that, you managed to show me what you really care about Nick."

"I... I don't understand?" Nick asked cautiously.

"Nick, you're what, a head taller then just about anyone in my family? If it came to blows, I'm not sure there are many of them that I would bet on in a fight with you."

Judy reached down to bring his paw between them, carefully pressing at his finger to expose one of his claws. Her fingers touched it lightly, feeling it's sharp point.

"You could have taken them down in _seconds_. They are farm bunnies, they think that strength alone will win them every fight they come up to. That's exactly how they attacked you! A trained ZPD officer can handle an attack like that without so much as a pant. You could have turned that fight around, and shown them a lesson. _And you didn't_. You didn't, because you knew what would happen if you fought back. At best we would have been visiting the hospital for at least a few of them. I've seen you when you think your life is at risk, you don't hold back. When you fight for someone's life, you fight to win.

"Patience Nick. You showed me... _Unimaginable_ patience. More than I did. When I finally got to that tree and saw what was happening? I don't even remember landing on James. I uh, I didn't stop hitting him until my dad got there. I don't even remember _doing_ it. But you? You were so calm, so relaxed. When I pulled that sack of your head you almost looked _bored_ for gods' sake."

Judy finished, allowed her breath to catch up to her. Nick's tired eyes looked back at her with uncertainty. His paw relaxed from her grip, falling to rest against her knee.

"Judy... I can't-"

"You don't have to Nick," Judy said firming her grip on his face as she spoke. "You don't have to _do_ anything. Don't you get it? You didn't show me that you _could_ become a good father. You showed me that you already _are_ one. All the pieces are already there, ready to go when you are. The only thing you need is to get this stupid idea out of your head." Her head shook slowly as she spoke again. "Hun, what even got this idea in you in the first place?"

Nick drew a shuddering breath, squeezing her knee as he steeled himself. His mind swirled at what he was hearing.

"This is just..." Nick looked up into her eyes, and instantly regretted what he saw.

_She really believes her lies_ he realized. Judy's eyes offered no doubt, no worry, just simple warmth and joy. She radiated with the same hopeful optimism he had fallen in love with. _She's always gonna be my naive little country bunny, never seeing the truth before her._

"This is just hard right now, Hun. This is so much take in," Nick offered her a half truth. A lie to shield her from what he knew. To protect the one he loved from the shadows of his past. "Think we could just, wait here a bit?"

"Only if you stop trying to come up with lies about how bad a mammal you are," Judy said. She reached around him, drawing his body to hers, and nuzzling her face into his neck. His arms came around her with a firm grasp, returning her affections. They held on another, listening to their breathing as they both relaxed and calmed down.

Nick's mind wandered through the mess he was building for himself. He could feel the fight on the horizon, the pain that Judy was marching right towards. His lips quivered, daring him to just her how much doubt still hid within him, to tell her that nothing he had said was a lie. He took in an unsure breath to speak.

Judy's phone buzzed, quickly followed by an alarm tone. Releasing Nick, she looked down with shocked eyes.

_Thank the gods,_ Nick thought. _A distraction..._

"It's the Chief," she said. Her voice twisted with confusion as she read the message again. "Asking for a status report? What? But would he know to even ask?"

"You have three hundred siblings, and who knows how many nibbling with smartphones," Nick said with a tired voice. "You didn't you assaulting a rabbit would go unnoticed?"

"Well, I guess-"

Judy stopped as her phone buzzed again. She coughed and sputtered as her throat suddenly closed. Nick gave her a worried look as she coughed the irritation away and explained.

"Bogo says we have two minutes to respond or he is 'mobilizing'. What does that even mean? He is serious?" Judy said.

Nick turned back to look at the dim light of the farm still on the horizon.

"I've managed to hear that Buffalo tell a grand total of sixteen jokes since I met him. What, don't give me that look, I counted alright? I don't think buffalo butt is joking, not at this hour. The _real_ question here, is will your family forgive us if we let dozens of pumped up ZPD officers storm their house demanding to know where their fox and bunny went?"

Judy drew a laughing sniffle, wiping away the last remnants of tears from her face. She pressed herself up beside Nick as they looked out across the dark black plain before them.

For the first time in weeks, Judy felt she could finally see the path she needed to walk. In her heart, she could feel it. Nick was come around. She knew she had her fox beside her. Looking down at her phone, she knew she had everything she needed to make it through whatever came next.

"Smile," she whispered into Nick's ear as she leaned her face into his neck and brought her camera up to send Bogo a picture. Nick gave it his usual goofy grin. Neither looked at the photo as Judy sent it off. Their fur was a mess, matted down with blood, dirt and tears. Little tufts of fur stuck up here and there. Both of their eyes were bloodshot and redden from the exhaustion and tears of the evening.

For a few precious minutes they held one another, and let the world turn on without them. They stood together in the middle of a road, not another soul for miles around. Two lovers held paws as both stared down different roads, each preparing for the battles they saw ahead.

* * *

Over two hundred miles away, their boss sat nervously at his desk within his apartment. Thin bands of light from the city crept in across the floor, joining the glow of his laptop and phone. A string of texts flowed in, responses from his officer's who ready to answer his call at a moment's notice.

Deploying the ZPD outside city limits was going to be a headache. The best outcome he could imagine still had him roped up in inquiry boards for a month. At worst his badge would end up on the mayor's desk. His hoof hammered away at the desk, tapping impatiently.

_No one hunts my herd,_ he mouthed to himself. His eyes watched the clock on the screen.

Two minutes. He had given Hopps two minutes to get back to him. If not, he was pulling the trigger. Bogo leaned back in his chair, his hooves rubbing his anxious head. His mind traced back along the events of his night.

An email have come in from someone back down at the station. It had first caught his attention as he laid down in bed. Someone had posted a picture online, a light bleached image of a fox, his head in a bag, tied to a tree. The shirt gave Nick Wilde away in an instant.

"No fox in his right mind would be caught dead wearing that abomination," he had said to himself.

A call to the local sheriff's office had been uninformative at best. Now he sat, counting down the seconds until he made the judgment call. Bogo didn't like being blind, even less so when his officer's well being was on the line. Jurisdictions be damned, he would keep them safe.

Opening his eyes to look at the clock, he watched it tick past his two minute deadline. Letting out a curt snort, he leaned forward. Picking up his phone he navigated to the contact of the ZPD hotline.

The line went straight to the dispatch center. Within seconds his concerns would escalate from a worry to a full blown response. Within minutes a speeding convoy would hit the streets and begin working their way towards the Triburrows. It would take them over two hours to get there, plenty of time for him to make it down to the dispatch center and watch things unfold from there.

His finger stopped as another text came in, this time from Hopps. He clicked it, impatiently watching the image load. His jaw hunt slightly a gap as it finished. Another flash bleached picture, showing the two officers in question, smiling into the camera. Their heads tilted together, dirt and specks of blood clung to their fur. Judy tongue stuck slightly out of her mouth, her eyes smiled up at him despite their red irritated look.

His eyes darted across the image, trying to understand what he was seeing. He quickly fired off a text back at Judy.

'Codeword'

He waited, staring at the screen as he waited for her to reply. The room felt thick and tense as he waited to confirm the message was sent without duress. The potential replies flashed through his mind over and over as he waited. 

'Humility' Judy replied.

Bogo let out a long, wavering breath. The worry and concern of the last few minutes popped in his head, while a bubbled rage flowed in to replace it. Carefully, he sent another mass text to the precinct.

'Stand down, False alarm.'

He opened another text, only adding the two officers in question.

'My office, tomorrow at 10.  
I except an amazing explanation.'

He leaned back against his chair, allowing his heart to pound away at the slowly receding stress. Those two had never stopped being a thorn in his side somewhere, tonight was just another in the long list of incidents they managed to pile onto him.

"Those two don't know how lucky they are that they get _results_ ," he muttered to himself as he watched the gentling dance of lights on the ceiling.

"You coming back to bed sweetie?" his partner called from the bedroom.

With another huffed snort, Bogo stood up and closed his laptop. He did his best to push away the worries of tomorrow as he walked back across the apartment. His pound of flesh could come from them tomorrow, friendly reprobation for his time and effort to keep them safe.

"Whatever is going on," he muttered to himself as he walked, "I'm going to find out and put a stop to this circus..."


End file.
